One Way Relationship: I Quit.


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Let’s face it. India is not a country where politeness, manners and etiquette is considered essential or important. In fact if you have these qualities, you are looked upon as weak. The more you accept it, the more crap is piled up upon your cell and mind. Politely saying “don’t message, don’t disturb” never works, and routine cases become emergency because no one is available when people have holidays. So a relative’s health may be completely ignored all week when everyone in the family is busy, and the doctors are then screwed on weekends, with expectations of compassion and sympathy, and with two chocolates “Will pay fees”, and “You are so kind”.

If there’s an emergency, visit the nearest doctor, take the patient to the hospital and admit. Don’t look for an excuse and escape to save time and money by exploiting a doctor who has entrusted you with his / her private number in good faith. They are far busier on holidays than on the working days.

Yes, a doctor is busiest on his holiday, having to attend to umpteen chores at home that are left undone during the weekdays. The weekend stress is extremely high. Family members expect some quality time and interaction too. Even simpler Personal tasks like a haircut, Cleaning home, vehicle, shopping for essentials and completing paperwork, banking, financial supervision etc. completely consumes the weekend of every working doctor. All this has now multiplied due to the pandemic, extra tasks have been added with higher risks. Add planning for upcoming meetings, catching up with academics, and incessant calls of those who think that the doctor will be “at leisure” on a holiday to attend to anything that pops up in their mind.

The irritation of not getting a holiday even on a holiday is unbearable. Be it family or friends, very few truly respect the necessity of some peace of mind for their doctors. Just because they get the doctor’s phone number, people feel it is an open access to their private time. I have even met VIP patients who requested my private number and then told me that their secretary will call me as they cannot disclose their personal numbers. Now I regret having given out my personal number to certain friends who incessantly send reports and ask consultation almost every weekend.

I quit this one way relationship. I may lose some friends and some patients, but it is worth the peace of mind I need to serve my deserving patients well.

Sincerely requesting my patients, friends and family members to NOT message/ call / email me on personal numbers or on social media, on Saturday and Sunday🙏🏻.
No exceptions.

Wishing everyone best health and a great life.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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