Monthly Archives: October 2020

Victim Versus Victim

Victim Versus Victim

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

He walked in my chamber, trembling and sweating. A typical engineer, cute, nerdy and cultured, he lacked the usual poise, calm and charm that accompanies the true intellectual. Something was wrong.

“Are you ok? Do you need a glass of water?” I asked him, while glancing at the vitals that the nurse had recorded- his blood pressure was high but not in the dangerous range. His breathing was heavy, and his eyes red.

“No, Doctor, I… I .. my head..” he wasn’t able to finish his sentence. I let him relax for a few moments. Taking a deep breath in, he started: “Doc, I haven’t slept in fifteen days. My head is exploding. I feel like I will die. We did a heart check up yesterday as I had palpitations, but the cardio told me everything was normal”.

I examined him, there were no neurological findings except the extreme anxiety he was trembling with. Sometimes the mind is so troubled, it actually causes the body to manifest its suffering- causing giddiness, trembling, headaches, lack of sleep, sometimes even fatal conditions! Stress is indeed a major killer.

“Is someone with you? Are you under some stress? Where’s your family?” I asked, and he started to shake.
“I want to tell you something confidential, doc” he said, and told me one of the most horrific yet increasingly frequent stories of our times.

He is 34, married, and has a six-year-old child. His wife works too, but in a different company. He spilled out what was hijacking his mind:
“Fifteen days ago, on a weekend, my wife dozed off on the sofa besides me. Her cellphone was in the kitchen, and when I went to get a snack, a whatsapp notification appeared on her locked screen, it said ‘I love you too, can’t wait to see you. Wear white, you look beautiful ..”. The sender appeared to be a female name, but I was curious. I had complete trust in my wife and we had a very good life together. I woke up my wife and asked her to open that message, asking for details. She refused. I got very angry as she was trying to hide something. I told her that I was planning to call her father and discuss the issue. Then she told me the truth”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“She had met one of her classmates in one of those ten year class reunions which have sprouted everywhere now. He started praising her, messaging her, and she said that she had fallen in love with him. She did apologise to me. I was devastated and wanted to run away, kill myself, because I had loved my wife dearly. The only reason why I did not do anything serious was our son, who is attached to both of us.”

“After a lot of thinking I decided to forgive my wife. I told her that I was ready to start again, but she had to completely stop seeing her classmate. I also requested her that I want to meet him once. We went to meet him. He is married too, has two kids, but his wife is not aware about all this. He bluntly refused to stop seeing my wife. He and my wife together told me that they cannot stop seeing each other, and that if I create any problems, my wife will approach various associations and police and tell them that I am abusing, harassing and being violent to her. You know what happens, doc, how law can be misused, how things can be twisted to make someone a villain. I am from a very cultured, educated family, we are scared of fights and legal matters, police cases etc.”

“When we returned home, my wife told me not to worry, and that if I did not interfere with their relations, I could also have the same relation with her as earlier. Now I hate her, I do not want to see her, but the thought of what will happen to our son and his future is killing me. I cannot eat, sleep or even think normally. I had severe headache since a few days, and today I vomited. My friend gave me your number, so I am here”.

Whenever someone is fasting for long, or for any reason dehydrated, the headache that follows could be extremely dangerous. We obtained an emergency scan of his brain and found that he was already developing clots in his veins, a condition that could have killed him if not treated in time. He was admitted and treated. His wife did come and attend him. He improved and was discharged in two days. I arranged for a counsellor for them, and now they are both undergoing counselling. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Besides the facts that I should never judge someone as a doctor, and that I am not a counsellor, I was appalled at the audacious threats (and in some cases a reality) misuse of police, legal machinery and socio-political forces under various disguises to corner and target someone. Recently a big retired police officer has commented “Show me a person, anyone, and we can show you his crimes”. The selective victimization of whoever one wants to target, while playing victim oneself, is the new name of the game: Victim Versus Victim with blurred definitions is the new world we are welcoming, thanks to the umpteen legal and social immaturities.

From gender to religion, from intellectual to financial achievements, anyone can now be blamed by anyone else, claiming to be a victim after using the system to get what one would never have achieved without that very system in place. In short, we are living in a world where a thief can enter your home, kill your dear ones, steal your belongings and if you catch and punish them, can play a victim card based upon anything from gender to caste, religion, nationality or political affiliation. This certainly cannot be called evolution, as survival of the most vicious villain will never favor human race.

Meanwhile we doctors will try and maintain our sanity to be neutral and treat everyone for their best health.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?

Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

As the covid situation improves, now begins the race for looting the credit and masking, twisting the reality. There’s a lot yet to happen, we hope there’s no second peak, the situation is best described as unpredictable at present.
It will be conveniently forgotten that hundreds of doctors, policemen, labourers, many covid warriors like nurses, hospital support staff, ambulance drivers, and government officials died to save millions of Indians. It will be downplayed that hospitals and staff therein were pushed to inhuman tasks for over eight months, some without payment. It will be never recorded that many PG students died due to unfair and unsafe postings during this pandemic, thousands worked without payment for months. It will also be conveniently forgotten that private hospitals- usually treated by society and politicians as “money minded looters” – were the only existing mechanism that could save our country from a much larger death toll.
The reality is that millions of patients went home because our private hospitals, doctors, nurses treated them day and night, without caring for their own family.

It will be comfortably masked that many government healthcare facilities were a failure, that enough manpower could not be found to man jumbo centers, that we lacked any other government machinery to provide healthcare in such a situation except arm-twisting and exploiting private practitioners and hospitals. Let us never commit the mistake of presuming that such a pandemic will be a one-time rare event as some evil countries now know what biowarfare can lead to. While electoral speeches will claim “Success” in defeating covid, the truth remains: that COVID has exposed us, our poor preparedness and arbitrary actions often without estimations of how they will affect millions of poverty-ridden illiterates. While sloganeering and declarations of “Thousands of crores” will be announced for people during elections, no one will question why we have not built any more hospitals, why we are not recruiting more qualified doctors in government set-ups, and why doctors find it impossible to work at govt-run hospitals. The sad stories of big netas getting admitted in biggest private hospitals and getting best of healthcare while the poor people on the street kept dying because they could not find ambulance, ICU, hospital or even family members to support will never be forgotten. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
We will never know who and why was given “Fast-track” certification for the emergency production and sale of huge quantum of PPE kits, masks, gloves, sanitisers, medicines (which were later declared questionable), tests for covid etc. Enormous profits were extracted even from doctors treating covid patients (because we all have paid huge amounts in last ten months for the safety gears, sanitisers etc.). We will never know how many thousand crores were earned by those who sold “immunity boosters” without a FDA validated scientific proof, taking advantage of illiteracy, ignorance and superstition in our country. The profits earned by one and all by the sale of these pandemic-essentials will remain hidden, and the bashing of private hospitals for overcharging will continue.

Let’s get the facts right: the private healthcare has sacrificed bigtime in this pandemic to save the life of millions. The credit of saving our beloved nation from a far more devastating outcome goes to these private hospitals, doctors at both private and government hospitals, postgraduate students, many brave, daredevil police officers, administrators like collector / commissioners, other grassroot covid warriors. Most declared policies were either ineffective or redundant. The courts in some states and even the Supreme court had to intervene and correct some wrong decisions, which itself saved many and eased the life of many more, we will be grateful to the Judges who took the best possible view of a blurred scenario. I must humbly thank certain political leaders, chief ministers of few states and others in the government for their individual hard work and involvement in this fight.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Yet, as our great nation India recovers, there will be proud chest-thumping by some leaders about “I / We defeated Covid Virus”. No. We doctors are a scientific community unblinded by bias. We know that Covid has unmasked the glaring, shameful shortcomings in our system. Covid has shown us our misplaced priorities. Covid has exposed the hollow claims of us being a developed, civil society. The number of maskless literates even during the peak of this pandemic is a proof of how backward we are as a community. India has almost no respectable medical research, we have a shameful federal healthcare infrastructure, we are considering non-doctors as teachers in medical colleges already sinking in quality, we have to rely upon quacks for healthcare delivery to the poorest and the rural, and yet the headlines of us donating nearly two million N95masks, HCQS to other countries gives us a feeling of pride, and we sing songs of a glorified glory.

The entire credit of pulling the country through this pandemic goes to every grassroot warrior, junior doctor, other doctor, nurse, private hospital, administrator, police. officer, and donors of multiple crores who sacrificed their life, family, or lifetime earnings for India.
Let no one befool you to believe otherwise.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dedicated to the real COVID warriors.

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The Most Dangerous Indian Cancer

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Being invisible, the ability to see others without them seeing you, combined with the inexplicable curiosity about the private businesses of others (for which Indians are world-infamous) makes this an irresistible hobby. Manners and etiquette are the last attributes for which we Indians are credited anywhere, so people think it’s like our birthright to be rude, reckless, abusive and judgemental to others.

Earlier when you criticised others, people questioned your own achievements, showed your own ridiculous stupid past, and what was most feared: often proved that you are a do-nothing hypocrite idiot who likes to relish in being critical and disrespectful of others. People could show everyone what a joke your own life was, how illogical, unreasonable and irrelevant a liar you could be. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Invisibility gave all such idiots a protection. The ability to hide behind a fake social media identity and troll others as a group, mob, media, political outfit or – most dangerously- a system which has access to the private information about almost everyone- has now become the worst social cancer that India has ever faced. This is far more dangerous, ugly, vicious and destructive than religious divides (people now know that’s a politically cultivated poison), class divides or any other social disease that has disturbed human fabric especially in India.

Trolling is a deadly disease fast destroying everyone almost everywhere, but worst in India. The reason- it has support from the highest of people who have the ability and authority to stop it but won’t. The courts and the law enforcement agencies don’t seem to have noticed the cruel havoc this is already causing everywhere. A suo-moto intervention to criminalise all fake identities and trolls doesn’t appear uncalled for.

Shall we just accept this trolling cancer as a reality of our times that comes as a side effect of social media supported freedom of speech? © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Does a coward who hides his / her own identity have that protected freedom of speech? Is it freedom of speech to abuse and denigrate one and all, especially the rich, famous and the respected, to use language that inflicts worse injuries than physical wounds? Is it freedom of speech to threaten murders and rapes, to threaten violence and exposing someone just because they refuse to fall into your traps of expectation and exploitation?

It can NEVER be Indian culture to threaten women with rapes and murders on social media. Which religion, which culture anywhere in the world accepts such treatment of women and kids? Where are the various Indian guardians of regional supremacy, language, culture, clothing, food, festivals etc. when the women and children are abused openly on social media in their land?

Trollers in India reached a new low by threatening a young child of a renowned sportsman recently, and the very country whose who’s who are blabbering about “Beti Bachao” appear all silent. Isn’t it a crime to threaten a child on social media anymore?

Is merely deleting those comments sufficient, is it not required to identify, shame and punish such inhuman trollers?

The idea of being able to express one’s opinion in situations like dictatorships where revealing identity could be fatal is alluring. That’s probably why freedom of speech is protected by many social media platforms. However we now know that many of these social media platforms aren’t the innocent soldiers of an individual’s rights of speech and expression, but (probably sold out) manipulators working for political, international forces which pay them well- or worse- want to spread racist hatred between classes and harbour a supremacy theory, to flaunt numbers, spy upon people and even incite mobs to loot and kill. Many leaders, businessmen, artists, actors etc. have been completely destroyed by such trolling, elections swayed in favour of some, and we boast of an illiterate populace hooked upon free internet as our national pride!

How else do we explain the incessant flow of extreme abuse which has now become a source of income and entertainment? How else do we accept that law, national and international, has kept an option of anyone to open a fake social media account?

This cancer, a “Growth” of wrong practices in the body of every nation, is destroying precious bonds between humans: because everyone has an unseen private life, not essentially criminal, but open for trolling once exposed, and one who owns most trollers will be the King! Unemployment demands increasingly crass entertainment, and the ‘kings’ know this well.

We appeal to the Supreme Court of India to please declare all fake social media accounts illegal, and bring to books the trollers who use lies, abuses and threats online.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Hurt Passion Of A Doctor

The Hurt Passion Of A Doctor
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The recent picture of our favourite cricketer Mr. M. S .Dhoni exhausted and fatigued on the field caused a lot of concern, and we wish him best health with many more years on the field. The passion with which he plays is inspiring, we all love and respect him just like we have loved and respected Mr. Sunil Gavaskar, Mr. Sachin Tendulkar, Mr. Anil Kumble, Mr. Virat Kohli and many other greats that the Indian cricket has produced.

By the age of 40 or so, most of the heavyweight sportspeople usually retire from a competitive life and take over other, less tiring jobs. They have spent their entire youth in working extremely hard, with untiring efforts to perfect their craft. The fields of both sports and films are unforgiving, and exceptional talent is required to make it to the top. On the plus side however is the recognition, fame, and money that follows success.

Where does a doctor stand then?

While we cannot compare any two professions given the different client-base and frustrations of each, we can definitely draw some parallels. Competing intellectually starts from school for every doctor, innumerable hours in studying, applying the best mental effort to performance, and overcoming all temptations of a light-heartedly enjoying outside world are just basic compulsions if one has to excel at least in India. The extreme competition for medical admission is worst in our country.

However, that’s just the beginning, and the real struggle starts after one joins medicine: exhausting timetables, extra work and duties, unending patient loads of an hygiene- illiterate society abandoned on health front by its own government are the basic premises. Add expectations of immediate cures and filmy, miraculous recoveries with best recommended World-class internet treatments but with “Indian Compulsions” of charity treatment by doctors from their own pockets, and a never-ending game of moral-ethical looting, compassionless exploitation begins. In the midst of all that mud, a doctor must still keep studying to be abreast of all the modernities of his science, keep a calm mind and be polite and good to even the worst behaved.

Then come home and see pictures of compassion for celebrities. No we do not envy the celebrities. We love them as much as anyone else. We just hate the hypocrisy that our people have created: that if you choose a career in medicine, you are far less likely to be loved, whatever you do, however hard you work, and even if you lose your life. The whole government machinery which rushes to wish celebs and click selfies with them on every tiny occasion cannot have the list of doctors who died treating covid patients! Has anyone seen any selfie of any minister with the doctors who saved their lives from covid?© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
There are thousands of young and old doctors in India, this very moment, working in covid wards, more exhausted and tired than any cricketer in the world. They cannot retire: 99 percent are so financially dependant on their daily income or monthly salaries, that they have silently accepted the tyrannous, cruel policies of various governments to inhumanly exploit them. They are on the verge of death due to exhaustion, and some are already having thoughts of ending it all. Over 500 have died. But the very same society has no compassion for these exhausted doctors, it has abandoned the very heroes who have stood between them and death. Their salaries are pending, they have to buy their own masks and kits, and thousands are estranged form their families for quarantines.

A society that browbeats doctors and hospitals to convert compassion into acceptance of non-payment of bills (as if doctors do not have basic compassions and humanity that everyone else has!) has money to queue up in restaurants, bars, liquor shops, malls, and bet millions on cricket matches is still completely ignorant about the exhausted doctor. We can build everything else as development agenda, but India can not invest in doctors. It can have the most modern aeroplanes and bullet trains, but it cannot pay its doctors.

The young doctor is now rethinking. Many have chosen to change their preferences and not become a doctor. Most doctors do not want to push their brilliant children into this chasm called ‘medical practice in India’: a dark, exploiting, thankless, violent and vulnerable machinery to suck out the blood of the most brilliant minds of our generation. The most important part of becoming a doctor is to reduce suffering and save lives. No one, however rich, becomes a doctor with a mindset to earn out of the dying and suffering.

That very passion to save lives is being insulted, mocked, and widely abused by our great nation today. I will continue to write to my students, to the next generation doctors to please preserve this passion: that is the most beautiful part of your soul, and please do not let it be scarred by an unevolved, regressive and exploiting society that we live in. Take care of yourself. We have a mission to save lives, without thinking whether they deserve to be saved or not. We will shortly also devise strategies to end this exploitation.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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