Category Archives: brain

Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?

Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

As the covid situation improves, now begins the race for looting the credit and masking, twisting the reality. There’s a lot yet to happen, we hope there’s no second peak, the situation is best described as unpredictable at present.
It will be conveniently forgotten that hundreds of doctors, policemen, labourers, many covid warriors like nurses, hospital support staff, ambulance drivers, and government officials died to save millions of Indians. It will be downplayed that hospitals and staff therein were pushed to inhuman tasks for over eight months, some without payment. It will be never recorded that many PG students died due to unfair and unsafe postings during this pandemic, thousands worked without payment for months. It will also be conveniently forgotten that private hospitals- usually treated by society and politicians as “money minded looters” – were the only existing mechanism that could save our country from a much larger death toll.
The reality is that millions of patients went home because our private hospitals, doctors, nurses treated them day and night, without caring for their own family.

It will be comfortably masked that many government healthcare facilities were a failure, that enough manpower could not be found to man jumbo centers, that we lacked any other government machinery to provide healthcare in such a situation except arm-twisting and exploiting private practitioners and hospitals. Let us never commit the mistake of presuming that such a pandemic will be a one-time rare event as some evil countries now know what biowarfare can lead to. While electoral speeches will claim “Success” in defeating covid, the truth remains: that COVID has exposed us, our poor preparedness and arbitrary actions often without estimations of how they will affect millions of poverty-ridden illiterates. While sloganeering and declarations of “Thousands of crores” will be announced for people during elections, no one will question why we have not built any more hospitals, why we are not recruiting more qualified doctors in government set-ups, and why doctors find it impossible to work at govt-run hospitals. The sad stories of big netas getting admitted in biggest private hospitals and getting best of healthcare while the poor people on the street kept dying because they could not find ambulance, ICU, hospital or even family members to support will never be forgotten. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
We will never know who and why was given “Fast-track” certification for the emergency production and sale of huge quantum of PPE kits, masks, gloves, sanitisers, medicines (which were later declared questionable), tests for covid etc. Enormous profits were extracted even from doctors treating covid patients (because we all have paid huge amounts in last ten months for the safety gears, sanitisers etc.). We will never know how many thousand crores were earned by those who sold “immunity boosters” without a FDA validated scientific proof, taking advantage of illiteracy, ignorance and superstition in our country. The profits earned by one and all by the sale of these pandemic-essentials will remain hidden, and the bashing of private hospitals for overcharging will continue.

Let’s get the facts right: the private healthcare has sacrificed bigtime in this pandemic to save the life of millions. The credit of saving our beloved nation from a far more devastating outcome goes to these private hospitals, doctors at both private and government hospitals, postgraduate students, many brave, daredevil police officers, administrators like collector / commissioners, other grassroot covid warriors. Most declared policies were either ineffective or redundant. The courts in some states and even the Supreme court had to intervene and correct some wrong decisions, which itself saved many and eased the life of many more, we will be grateful to the Judges who took the best possible view of a blurred scenario. I must humbly thank certain political leaders, chief ministers of few states and others in the government for their individual hard work and involvement in this fight.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Yet, as our great nation India recovers, there will be proud chest-thumping by some leaders about “I / We defeated Covid Virus”. No. We doctors are a scientific community unblinded by bias. We know that Covid has unmasked the glaring, shameful shortcomings in our system. Covid has shown us our misplaced priorities. Covid has exposed the hollow claims of us being a developed, civil society. The number of maskless literates even during the peak of this pandemic is a proof of how backward we are as a community. India has almost no respectable medical research, we have a shameful federal healthcare infrastructure, we are considering non-doctors as teachers in medical colleges already sinking in quality, we have to rely upon quacks for healthcare delivery to the poorest and the rural, and yet the headlines of us donating nearly two million N95masks, HCQS to other countries gives us a feeling of pride, and we sing songs of a glorified glory.

The entire credit of pulling the country through this pandemic goes to every grassroot warrior, junior doctor, other doctor, nurse, private hospital, administrator, police. officer, and donors of multiple crores who sacrificed their life, family, or lifetime earnings for India.
Let no one befool you to believe otherwise.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dedicated to the real COVID warriors.

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The Most Dangerous Indian Cancer

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Being invisible, the ability to see others without them seeing you, combined with the inexplicable curiosity about the private businesses of others (for which Indians are world-infamous) makes this an irresistible hobby. Manners and etiquette are the last attributes for which we Indians are credited anywhere, so people think it’s like our birthright to be rude, reckless, abusive and judgemental to others.

Earlier when you criticised others, people questioned your own achievements, showed your own ridiculous stupid past, and what was most feared: often proved that you are a do-nothing hypocrite idiot who likes to relish in being critical and disrespectful of others. People could show everyone what a joke your own life was, how illogical, unreasonable and irrelevant a liar you could be. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Invisibility gave all such idiots a protection. The ability to hide behind a fake social media identity and troll others as a group, mob, media, political outfit or – most dangerously- a system which has access to the private information about almost everyone- has now become the worst social cancer that India has ever faced. This is far more dangerous, ugly, vicious and destructive than religious divides (people now know that’s a politically cultivated poison), class divides or any other social disease that has disturbed human fabric especially in India.

Trolling is a deadly disease fast destroying everyone almost everywhere, but worst in India. The reason- it has support from the highest of people who have the ability and authority to stop it but won’t. The courts and the law enforcement agencies don’t seem to have noticed the cruel havoc this is already causing everywhere. A suo-moto intervention to criminalise all fake identities and trolls doesn’t appear uncalled for.

Shall we just accept this trolling cancer as a reality of our times that comes as a side effect of social media supported freedom of speech? © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Does a coward who hides his / her own identity have that protected freedom of speech? Is it freedom of speech to abuse and denigrate one and all, especially the rich, famous and the respected, to use language that inflicts worse injuries than physical wounds? Is it freedom of speech to threaten murders and rapes, to threaten violence and exposing someone just because they refuse to fall into your traps of expectation and exploitation?

It can NEVER be Indian culture to threaten women with rapes and murders on social media. Which religion, which culture anywhere in the world accepts such treatment of women and kids? Where are the various Indian guardians of regional supremacy, language, culture, clothing, food, festivals etc. when the women and children are abused openly on social media in their land?

Trollers in India reached a new low by threatening a young child of a renowned sportsman recently, and the very country whose who’s who are blabbering about “Beti Bachao” appear all silent. Isn’t it a crime to threaten a child on social media anymore?

Is merely deleting those comments sufficient, is it not required to identify, shame and punish such inhuman trollers?

The idea of being able to express one’s opinion in situations like dictatorships where revealing identity could be fatal is alluring. That’s probably why freedom of speech is protected by many social media platforms. However we now know that many of these social media platforms aren’t the innocent soldiers of an individual’s rights of speech and expression, but (probably sold out) manipulators working for political, international forces which pay them well- or worse- want to spread racist hatred between classes and harbour a supremacy theory, to flaunt numbers, spy upon people and even incite mobs to loot and kill. Many leaders, businessmen, artists, actors etc. have been completely destroyed by such trolling, elections swayed in favour of some, and we boast of an illiterate populace hooked upon free internet as our national pride!

How else do we explain the incessant flow of extreme abuse which has now become a source of income and entertainment? How else do we accept that law, national and international, has kept an option of anyone to open a fake social media account?

This cancer, a “Growth” of wrong practices in the body of every nation, is destroying precious bonds between humans: because everyone has an unseen private life, not essentially criminal, but open for trolling once exposed, and one who owns most trollers will be the King! Unemployment demands increasingly crass entertainment, and the ‘kings’ know this well.

We appeal to the Supreme Court of India to please declare all fake social media accounts illegal, and bring to books the trollers who use lies, abuses and threats online.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Hurt Passion Of A Doctor

The Hurt Passion Of A Doctor
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The recent picture of our favourite cricketer Mr. M. S .Dhoni exhausted and fatigued on the field caused a lot of concern, and we wish him best health with many more years on the field. The passion with which he plays is inspiring, we all love and respect him just like we have loved and respected Mr. Sunil Gavaskar, Mr. Sachin Tendulkar, Mr. Anil Kumble, Mr. Virat Kohli and many other greats that the Indian cricket has produced.

By the age of 40 or so, most of the heavyweight sportspeople usually retire from a competitive life and take over other, less tiring jobs. They have spent their entire youth in working extremely hard, with untiring efforts to perfect their craft. The fields of both sports and films are unforgiving, and exceptional talent is required to make it to the top. On the plus side however is the recognition, fame, and money that follows success.

Where does a doctor stand then?

While we cannot compare any two professions given the different client-base and frustrations of each, we can definitely draw some parallels. Competing intellectually starts from school for every doctor, innumerable hours in studying, applying the best mental effort to performance, and overcoming all temptations of a light-heartedly enjoying outside world are just basic compulsions if one has to excel at least in India. The extreme competition for medical admission is worst in our country.

However, that’s just the beginning, and the real struggle starts after one joins medicine: exhausting timetables, extra work and duties, unending patient loads of an hygiene- illiterate society abandoned on health front by its own government are the basic premises. Add expectations of immediate cures and filmy, miraculous recoveries with best recommended World-class internet treatments but with “Indian Compulsions” of charity treatment by doctors from their own pockets, and a never-ending game of moral-ethical looting, compassionless exploitation begins. In the midst of all that mud, a doctor must still keep studying to be abreast of all the modernities of his science, keep a calm mind and be polite and good to even the worst behaved.

Then come home and see pictures of compassion for celebrities. No we do not envy the celebrities. We love them as much as anyone else. We just hate the hypocrisy that our people have created: that if you choose a career in medicine, you are far less likely to be loved, whatever you do, however hard you work, and even if you lose your life. The whole government machinery which rushes to wish celebs and click selfies with them on every tiny occasion cannot have the list of doctors who died treating covid patients! Has anyone seen any selfie of any minister with the doctors who saved their lives from covid?© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
There are thousands of young and old doctors in India, this very moment, working in covid wards, more exhausted and tired than any cricketer in the world. They cannot retire: 99 percent are so financially dependant on their daily income or monthly salaries, that they have silently accepted the tyrannous, cruel policies of various governments to inhumanly exploit them. They are on the verge of death due to exhaustion, and some are already having thoughts of ending it all. Over 500 have died. But the very same society has no compassion for these exhausted doctors, it has abandoned the very heroes who have stood between them and death. Their salaries are pending, they have to buy their own masks and kits, and thousands are estranged form their families for quarantines.

A society that browbeats doctors and hospitals to convert compassion into acceptance of non-payment of bills (as if doctors do not have basic compassions and humanity that everyone else has!) has money to queue up in restaurants, bars, liquor shops, malls, and bet millions on cricket matches is still completely ignorant about the exhausted doctor. We can build everything else as development agenda, but India can not invest in doctors. It can have the most modern aeroplanes and bullet trains, but it cannot pay its doctors.

The young doctor is now rethinking. Many have chosen to change their preferences and not become a doctor. Most doctors do not want to push their brilliant children into this chasm called ‘medical practice in India’: a dark, exploiting, thankless, violent and vulnerable machinery to suck out the blood of the most brilliant minds of our generation. The most important part of becoming a doctor is to reduce suffering and save lives. No one, however rich, becomes a doctor with a mindset to earn out of the dying and suffering.

That very passion to save lives is being insulted, mocked, and widely abused by our great nation today. I will continue to write to my students, to the next generation doctors to please preserve this passion: that is the most beautiful part of your soul, and please do not let it be scarred by an unevolved, regressive and exploiting society that we live in. Take care of yourself. We have a mission to save lives, without thinking whether they deserve to be saved or not. We will shortly also devise strategies to end this exploitation.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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The Future Girl and Her Message


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

At about 7 PM, I was about to finish the OPD at Ruby. One last patient was waiting, I could see her in the waiting hall outside.

My N95 was on since 10 AM, and I hadn’t had an opportunity to drink even water since I entered hospital at noon. Fatigued, thirsty and heavy-headed, like most doctors today.

‘This isn’t fair’, I was thinking, ‘I don’t deserve this torture after so many years of hard work. This pandemic seems unending, this stress is piling up on my mind and body now,. The world seems to have come to an inhuman standstill’.

The last patient walked jauntily in, a young girl of 27, her eyes smiled excited. She’s been my old case of epilepsy since last three years. She works in a virology research set up, and had told me six months ago that she’s working on Corona. Her parents are working as labourers in a local government factory.

“How are you?” I asked, mustering a smile she couldn’t see.

“All fine Sir, no fits at all. I just came to share a good news. An American University has liked my virology work and offered me a job for three years. I am leaving in three days. I will begin a new life, I have decided to spend it for virology research. I just came to say bye to you. I will of course keep in touch, but I will miss you there” and she touched my feet.

“God bless you. Stay safe at all costs. I am sure you will reach great heights and win a Nobel. Don’t forget your parents. Let me know if you need anything anytime “. I said what I could.

I was happy and sad at the same time. Happy for her career leap, and sad that such a brilliant scientist was leaving India.

I was startled that she had shaken away my fatigue and the pandemic rust that was accumulating on my mind. A sign of youth, she had taken the burning world around her as an opportunity rather than being cowed down by it. She was going to wear a mask almost all her career life, and the thought didn’t seem to affect her. She had accepted the reality faster than anyone I knew. A mind made for the future, she was travelling to the US (she has reached now) at a time that the world was locked down.

The world hasn’t come to a standstill, I realised. It is picking up. It will thrive again and boom in few months. Till then I must keep all negativity away. Till then I must do whatever it takes to survive and live the best life possible even in a pandemic. She had unknowingly come to deliver that special message before she left.

She left teary eyed and yet with a smile. My tiredness was gone. My spirits felt rejuvenated, I was grateful that she visited. Like every doctor who gets up and puts on his mask every morning for seeing their patients catch on with their life again.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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The Good News: ‘Life Is In Brains’

Last three years we were planning a beautiful, comprehensive and patient friendly, “All under one roof” Neuroscience set-up at Ruby Hall Clinic.

Specialty Clinics for Multiple Sclerosis, Parkinson’s Disease, Epilepsy, Vertigo, Stroke, Brain Tumors, and all neurological investigations will be available here, on this floor. Also Neuropsychology, Speech Therapy and Counsellor for family members dealing with difficult illnesses.

My dynamic CEO Mr. Bomi Bhote has long dreamt of a world-class Neuroscience department at Ruby Hall.
“Give our society something to remember you for” he said often. I have tried my best to design this fully new Superspecality Neuroscience Department. After many meetings and many precious inputs from Dr. Purvez Grant, Dr. Manisha Karmarkar (COO), and Dr. Rebecca John, and the blessings of senior Doctors like Dr. Ravi Gulati, MD Dr. Sanjay Pathare we added one stop troubleshooting and convenience so that patients do not have to roam around.

Mr. Iqbal Chaney, Dr. Abhijit Rokade, Mr. Shailesh Kelkar, Mr. Avro Chatterjee, Mrs. Nilofer Shaikh, Mr. Tushar Patil, Ms. Ansha and so many others contributed to the efficient beauty of this set-up.

One item on the top of my bucket list thus ticked off: giving Pune, Maharashtra and India a Neuroscience Department to bank upon. This is just the beginning.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dear Indian Film Industry,

Dear Indian Film Industry,

We doctors support the sentiment of Producer’s Guild’s open letter today about relentless efforts to disrepute the entire film industry based upon some negative experiences.

But there’s a contradiction in that logic.

Please recall the umpteen times that the dignity of entire medical profession was decimated in films by showing all doctors and hospitals in poor light, casually beating them up by heroes. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Thanks to the dialogues like “They hook up dead bodies on ventilators to earn more money “, thousands of Indian patients who could have otherwise survived were disconnected from ventilators and taken home to die.

Thanks to one episode of Satyamev Jayate, thousands of great ethical Indian doctors suffered mistrust, vandalism and violence at the hands of malleable filmgoers.

The very ugly, dirty, cheap and below-the-belt jokes being cracked to gain TRPs by dressing up as doctors in comedy shows, addressing kidney thefts in films as if every doctor is involved, showing street goons teaching doctors humanity and not to wait for paperwork (by the way, it’s not doctors who made the paperwork laws, and no doctor lets any patient die for lack of paperwork): how do you think this affects our now-maskless society?

Fortunately the pandemic has exposed how “disciplined and civil “ our society is, and what the doctors do.

300 doctors have died during this pandemic, serving India, completely ignored, but the news channels are hooked on to the news about film industry: that’s sensational! “Negative” attention burns souls: like ours when we doctors watch films with our children and the heroes beat up and treat doctors as they typically do: humiliating!© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Entertainment at the cost of someone else’s pain and suffering hurts, do you agree now? If a few stars have cocaine, it is unfair to blame all. If a few rag others it is unfair to blame all. If a few doctors are corrupt, it is very unfair to defame all. Rarely do we see an Indian film about good doctors- honourably mentioning the good Indian doctors portrayed by few like Mr. Amitabh Bachchan or Mr. Pankaj Kapoor.

Add to this the uncalled-for and hurtful fun made of certain communities like Parsis (most valuable contributors to Indian Honour), patients with epilepsy/ disabilities, even those who have stammering or squint etc… who are already being shamed by our retro minded society. When will we cross the need to hurt/ shame someone disabled as a form of entertainment?

What goes around in films comes around in reality.

Let us respect each other. Like everyone else, doctors too enjoy watching good Indian films as stress busters, we are also your fans, but it really hurts when doctors are unnecessarily defamed/ shown in poor light in films.

I must mention, many of our critical patients watch your movies and songs on TV screens in ICU, and forget the pain, even imminent death because of your performance and talent. I have seen patients laugh on their deathbeds, thanks to some performers, actors and singers. We are indebted to you in that sense. One of my stroke patients who couldn’t speak suddenly started singing along with his favourite hero Mr. Dev Anand on screen (Khoya khoya chaand..khula aasmaan..), a phenomenon well known in Neurology. I really didn’t mind it when the relatives said he had recovered because of Dev sahab and that song!

Dear Indian Film Industry, We love you, (actually some doctors imitate you, dress up like you, and even flaunt their biceps to their colleagues). We adore your talent, but please recognise ours too, and stop defamation of medical professionals in films. Please don’t sacrifice medicine’s dignity to prove the hero’s greatness. Indian female doctors in reality are far beyond only good looks, almost none corrupt. India has given some of the best doctors to the world. We appeal to your sense of decency to consider this in future before bashing medical professionals in films. We can definitely accommodate healthy jokes and humour about ourselves, but spare us the perpetual role of real life looters.

Wishing you a quick and healthy recovery and waiting for our most handsome, beautiful and talented actors to come back with wholesome entertainment as soon as possible. Also exceptional gratitude to Mr. Shahrukh Khan for his huge donations of life saving PPE kits for doctors, and Mr. Sonu Sood for everything he has been doing for our society.

Coming soon in the nearest theatre to see all of you once more.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

#filmindustry #producersguild

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One Way Relationship: I Quit.


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Let’s face it. India is not a country where politeness, manners and etiquette is considered essential or important. In fact if you have these qualities, you are looked upon as weak. The more you accept it, the more crap is piled up upon your cell and mind. Politely saying “don’t message, don’t disturb” never works, and routine cases become emergency because no one is available when people have holidays. So a relative’s health may be completely ignored all week when everyone in the family is busy, and the doctors are then screwed on weekends, with expectations of compassion and sympathy, and with two chocolates “Will pay fees”, and “You are so kind”.

If there’s an emergency, visit the nearest doctor, take the patient to the hospital and admit. Don’t look for an excuse and escape to save time and money by exploiting a doctor who has entrusted you with his / her private number in good faith. They are far busier on holidays than on the working days.

Yes, a doctor is busiest on his holiday, having to attend to umpteen chores at home that are left undone during the weekdays. The weekend stress is extremely high. Family members expect some quality time and interaction too. Even simpler Personal tasks like a haircut, Cleaning home, vehicle, shopping for essentials and completing paperwork, banking, financial supervision etc. completely consumes the weekend of every working doctor. All this has now multiplied due to the pandemic, extra tasks have been added with higher risks. Add planning for upcoming meetings, catching up with academics, and incessant calls of those who think that the doctor will be “at leisure” on a holiday to attend to anything that pops up in their mind.

The irritation of not getting a holiday even on a holiday is unbearable. Be it family or friends, very few truly respect the necessity of some peace of mind for their doctors. Just because they get the doctor’s phone number, people feel it is an open access to their private time. I have even met VIP patients who requested my private number and then told me that their secretary will call me as they cannot disclose their personal numbers. Now I regret having given out my personal number to certain friends who incessantly send reports and ask consultation almost every weekend.

I quit this one way relationship. I may lose some friends and some patients, but it is worth the peace of mind I need to serve my deserving patients well.

Sincerely requesting my patients, friends and family members to NOT message/ call / email me on personal numbers or on social media, on Saturday and Sunday🙏🏻.
No exceptions.

Wishing everyone best health and a great life.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

A Fountain Of Youth


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

From college days, a single habit, which I am probably most obsessive about, has saved me from a lot of trouble while facing so many difficult bad phases. Above exercise, I have loved my meditation.

It is indeed emotionally fatiguing to listen to same and new health complaints practically every day of your life, year after year. Add consoling crying and angry, panicked patients and their relatives, frustrated with themselves, with life, and also sometimes with the doctor. Who other than doctors can know the helplessness while receiving and delivering a bad news? To bear all this one needs immense emotional strength, patience and mental stability. Almost every doctor tries to help and soothe the patient. But the more sensitive, deeply thinking doctors bear the brunt of this emotional overload differently: it affects them negatively.

A common advice given to most such “sensitive and emotional” doctors is ‘detach yourself’, do not involve your feelings much, try and just do what is scientifically, professionally correct. How is it possible to squeeze out the pain that reaches your blood? To learn to be able to deal with this, I needed a major effort, and after a lot of suffering and speaking with some evolved medical and spiritual souls, I could devise a mental platform to deal with this. To be able to clean the slate before the next patient walks in is an art that needs dense practice. A doctor who can ignore and detach from pain and its expression cannot be a good doctor, although I understand that not everyone will agree with this. To their credit, I have also seen many dry, non-conversant and short tempered doctors who actually are far more receptive to their patient’s pain.

Vienna has excellently preserved the home of the great Sigmund Freud. His furniture, papers, books, fossil art and even clothes are maintained well. Freud sat for long hours on his high backed chair, looking at the dense greens outside his window, while fathoming the complicated, layered depths of human minds. In his office, there is a glass cabinet displaying his hand written application for financial support towards higher education, requesting grants. If that genius had to seek financial support by applying to far less intellectuals in his time, where do mere mortals like me stand? There were many times when my finances were in doldrums. Most of the hands that help usually usurp far more than their help in future, so I had to also make a long bucket list of what I did not want. However, my fate was as stubborn as myself, and it gave me enough with its blessed hands always.

It is not possible to be a good doctor if one harbours negativity, sadness, anger, depression and especially regrets within oneself. That’s where meditation saved me for years. If I want to think deep at length about something, I visit my rendezvous where I get a secluded corner and unlimited black coffee. As for this daily meditation though, not much is required. I just sit in a quiet place, switch off all gadgets and lock myself away from human reach. Then I just tell myself: I am completely forgiving everyone who hurt me, misbehaved or cheated me, without any conditions. I will not carry any negatives about them in my heart. In fact I do not want their apologies and I don’t care whether they regret what they did or nor, whether they change or not. Even today, I will meet many who will take advantage, speak arrogantly, misbehave or try to show me down, but I will have already forgiven them, ensuring to protect myself and my work. I will not lose my temper today. I will take excess precautions not to hurt anyone with my word or deed. If I do commit a mistake, I will apologise immediately. What people do is not my problem. How I react is indeed my responsibility. So when I finish my day, I come back with no anger, irritability, frustration or chaos in my mind. Things that are most important for me: my patient’s health, my student’s skills and my writing- I will protect them from any disturbances that may dilute their perfection. I want to satisfy my ego in the greatness and success of my work, the intensity and beauty of everything that I do, not by showing anyone else down. I will return today with a clean and fresh mind.

This simple reminder every morning helps me defeat any diversions from internal peace while working in the highly tense hospital atmosphere. This simple meditation takes me only five minutes, and usually my Alta Rica Black makes my meditation deliciously bittersweet. My accompanying picture is during one such meditation, but as censor boards would object, I have filtered the image.

To be able to forgive the whole world is probably the best thing I ever learnt! It is extremely tough and taxing to forgive the near and dear ones who usually top the list of those who hurt you, but it is equally rewarding too. Please do try it, it will make you at least ten years younger.. and if you can master the art of forgiving yourself for all your mistakes too, then probably you will enter the fountain of youth.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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The Suicide In Our Brain


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

My mom once badly thrashed me up for jumping into a river for swimming (and for many other things I cannot mention here). The sadness of not getting my dream PG seat of surgery nearly killed me. A very brilliant, extremely mischievous and beautiful girlfriend of mine had to marry someone else. Years later, I went through a divorce. During each of these phases, thoughts of suicide crossed my mind like every normal person, several times. During all exams, thoughts of suicide, poetry and a rebellious dropout haunt many. After every suicide, disturbing thoughts of ‘exactly what, how and when’ haunt any sensitive mind.

During my student days, I spent an hour daily in a small space behind our boys hostel to use the double bar, the only facility for exercise. One senior, Sunil, was also a regular visitor, and we became friends. He was repeating a term. He was always smiling, calm and an introvert. Many students made sarcastic fun about his being aloof. Somehow he was nice to me, we usually spoke about stamina building.
One morning I woke up to the shocking news of his suicide. He had hung himself in his hostel room. I had met him only two days prior, and he was as smiling and quiet as ever, had exercised well, spoken in a normal tone, and while leaving had said his customary words of parting “chal bhetu parat” (okay, we’ll meet again)”.

Many theories came forward, and a professor who was always rude to many including Sunil was gossiped a lot about. It was also revealed that Sunil was under treatment for depression since a few years. Some said he was frustrated with his failure and poverty. For a good few months, I did not dare go to that double bar again. I wondered about his parents. How could he have done this? I asked one Dr. Madhu, a psychiatrist who often visited our college from UK. He replied “Well, there is no point in presumptions and allegations. How can one not think about near and dear ones, especially while doing something so drastic with themselves? Suicide is way beyond the grasp of a normal mindset. We must never forget that although immediate causes may act like triggers, usually suicidal thoughts build up over a long period”.
I started reading more about it.

Since then I know of many medicos (and others) who committed suicide for various reasons: failures, stress and negativity, depression, disturbed relationships, blackmail, boredom, harassment etc. I’ve also managed many suicide-attempt cases like burns, hanging, poisoning, drowning or self inflicted wounds. I have followed up with some of these patients for medical issues. It is indeed difficult to deal with some of those cases. To add to the problem, some (not all) anti depressants and other medicines may worsen suicidal tendencies or cause them in a patient who did not have them earlier.

The mental suffering of a genius is beyond the realms of a normal and mediocre mindset. The more extraordinary your mind is, the more it suffers, and only a better brain is able to understand that suffering. One who can feel for others suffers most. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Two other common triggers for suicide- failure and loss- are more manageable. We are so engrossed in marrying our dreams with the rude reality around us, that we create a perpetual high-friction, tense atmosphere in our own mind. Instead, we must learn to unchain our dreams and expectations from the current reality. One can always attempt to change the situation around, but that needs a healthy mind. Unfortunately we do not have gyms made for the mind.

Human brain compels to repeat. We can develop an addiction for anything: negative or positive. The thoughts of futility, ‘having no other options’ can also make home in one’s mind. To be able to catch and prevent this can help some, but not all. Suicidal thought or intention is NOT a mental weakness. No one is any braver for not killing oneself. Suicidal thinking is a state of mind not in control of the owner of that mind, and can be reversed if the right steps (seeing a psychologist) are taken in time. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

The importance we all give to complete acceptance and best success is cruel. Parents today want to grow up only gold-medal champions, who can then never be graceful in their failures, or satisfied with being the second best. Lesser success is no success today. No one achieves all that they want. To be able to accept failure must be taught from school. A different, failure-accepting attitude by parents and society during development of a child’s mindset is desperately required. Tying failure to the feeling of being inadequate and worthless is a common crime we all commit.

That brings us to the last thought of this article: we must learn to never let the behaviour of others affect our joys. The wise will get this immediately: one deliberate hurt is too many, never allow another. Exit the situation, it is not called running away, it is protecting yourself. A Mahatma Gandhi cannot feel comfortable amongst a gang of mafias. That said, if all suicides are investigated well, many others in future can be prevented: white collared and financial criminals, trust-breakers who instigate others for suicide are quite common in our society.

Sometimes it is an internal phenomenon to have suicidal thoughts, some other times a sudden emotional shock or breakdown can provoke such an action. We must take every mention of a suicide seriously, even if the person is smiling or casual while saying it. A change in behavior pattern of a beloved introvert can also be an alarm, one must spend more time with them without being intrusive. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Glamorisation of suicide is an open abuse perpetrated upon our social conscience, worst in India, and should be declared criminal, as this may fatally affect some potential young minds. The mindless repetition of suicidal news has a devastating effect on many stressed minds, and who is not stressed today?

Medicine is a difficult career: long, hard and emotionally fatiguing, with late rewards (rarely financial), and legendarily thankless. Many doctor work on the verge of thoughts about quitting. The concept for vacation, rest or good sleep is not allowed to most doctors. This drives some across the edge. The only way to stop this is that each and every doctor looks after their own stress levels, that they take adequate rest and sleep, find leisure and entertainment, every few days. Socio-federal expectations never end, while our life withers away.

A change in career is a good idea, if you feel frustrated for long. One can always excel in a PG branch once not wanted, one can reappear and pass exams, one will meet better people. Most importantly for medicos, education is not a forever state, and after passing, medicine enables us to practice anywhere we like. Let us not make drastic decisions affected by transient scenarios like bad seniors, frustrating workloads or those recurring breakup’s! © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

If given a chance again, I will choose nothing but to be the Neurologist that I am today. The memories of that thrashing by mom strengthen my resolve to stand up to the unpleasant and stern parenting duties so crucial for the safety of my own children. That divorce liberated me (and her) from many more years of painful discomfort. Life, even without anything that I possess now, is still beautiful. Still, every single thing that I possess today is a dream for many, and adds to the inherent beauty of my life. That deeply roots my faith in the wisdom “Whatever happens is for good“. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

There are many glaring examples of those who turned tables to win over fate, overcame failures, deception, breakups, crises- financial and emotional, defamation, bullying and humiliation. Almost all of them have dealt with suicidal thoughts, some sought right help, and now are living proofs that this is possible only if one lives on.

I feel like whispering to every silently suffering soul out there: Dream, fight, chill, win or lose, but never give anyone the right to take away your charm. That little muscle-machine ticking in your chest right now, the insane neurochemical chatter of your neurons which makes you say ‘I think’, are miracles specifically made for you. That little hand you hold, someone’s moist eyes upon seeing you, and the enormous capacity of your coconut to imagine a beautiful future – are all precious blessings. Let’s not belittle them by asking for something more just to smile once again.
Smile NOW for what you are, smile NOW for what you have!

About that b. em.& b.. girlfriend… well I fondly miss her still, but every time I think of her, I cannot help smiling!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

A Love Letter For All Haters Of Allopathy

A Love Letter For All Haters Of Allopathy
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Allopathy / Modern medicine is like my mother to me. Naturally, when someone tries to spread misinformation about this path of healing, it is my territory to defend, and I will. I am open to the idea that I may not understand other pathies well, I understand mine only because I studied it well. Time and again, I have received many articles criticising Allopathy in many languages. Most of these articles make claims about their own ‘pathy’ being divine or magical, curing everything. They justify this with some twisted quasi-scientific logic, very convincing for those who are a few sandwiches short of the picnic.

We Allopaths save more lives on any given single day than all other pathies combined can save over months. Thousands of doctors from other pathies who have recovered from heart attacks and strokes and other critical medical conditions will testify that Allopathy saved their lives. The facts that there are far more Allopathic hospitals all over the world, that corona patients in ALL countries are being treated primarily by Allopaths leaves no space for any argument whether Allopathy is useful or not. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

To understand basics of medicine, it takes five years for the highest rankers of each generation. To criticise it without studying it requires an outstanding idiot.

Think Cricket. We all enjoy seeing the Master Blaster perform, aware that he has gone though extensive practice and patience to be where he is. Yet even those who have never qualified to be in their own family’s cricket team, will advise the Master on TV how to play. They can be ignored as certified nincompoops. The other category- copiers- are most dangerous. They will just pick up the Master’s style / words, copy the technique, use all the same external paraphernalia and then pretend to be superior to the Master Blaster. Truth and scientific logic then takes a hit out of the boundary.

From Mahatma Gandhi to Einstein, from Daniel DeFoe to P.G. Wodehouse, from Bachchan to Tendulkar, greatest of the great have faced undeserved criticism from envious, jealous, noodlebrained nobodies whose only chance to some attention is criticising any success, achievement and affluence. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Some of the best brains in each generation get into Allopathic medicine, and are trained in a curriculum made by highly educated achievers in the field of science. The same Nobel prize as was won by the greats like Guru Rabindranath Tagore, Amartya Sen, Abhijit Banerjee, Dr. Hargobind Khurana, has also been won by those who form the basis of Allopathy or Modern medicine.
Our science is based upon the principles and practice of basic biosciences like physiology, biochemistry, pharmacology, genetics, all defined by geniuses across the world. We follow the principles of scientific evidence as defined by science, not by personal whims and hunches. . Our paths are enlightened by brilliant guidelines of people who discovered the causes and treatment of diseases like malaria, tuberculosis, HIV etc. saving millions of lives. Each year, there is a Nobel prize dedicated to medicine.

Thus, thought processes of many generations of geniuses in science have made us Allopaths. We we are in fact relieved to know that everybody cannot understand us. That would have made our minds average.

Millions recover every day from heart attacks and strokes, thanks to Allopaths. Millions who would have otherwise spent their life on bed, walk well again because Allopathic knee and spine surgeons can perform complex surgeries, cheapest in India. Ask any patient of Parkinson’s Disease, Epilepsy or Heart failure, what happens if they miss their Allopathic doses. It is our challenge to anyone who hates Allopathy to take care of one dialysis patient without dialysis, treat one bleeding brain injury or one heart valve defect without surgery or one patient of respiratory paralysis without ventilator. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Maharshi Charak and Maharshi Sushrut are respected all over the world because of their own good work. I have met some very respectable Ayurvedic pratitioners. They never use Allopathic terminology to impress thier patients or name their medicines. They know their own limitations.

Using the terminology from Allopathy while criticising it is like calling your wife by the name of your neighbour’s beautiful, out-of-reach wife whom you like. From migraine to arthritis, from brain to corona, why do they use the words of the very science they refute? The height of this idiotic ridiculous is to twist scientific information, using Modern medical terms (protein, genes, virus, corona etc.) to justify the basis of their own treatments! How in the name of science are you going to treat a condition which your branch didn’t even know the name of? These hypocrites will use X rays and MRI, blood tests etc. reported by doctors – radiologists, pathologists in Modern medicine and prescribe their medicines saying that the Allopathic medicines are useless!

Why are bridge courses requested if Allopathy was useless? Why don’t we see those various criticising pathies open up their own original hospitals and practice their own science, why would so many graduates from different pathies be working with allopathic hospitals today? If you are so confident of your pathy being superior, please take an oath that you will never practice other pathies, that you or your family will never take treatment from any another pathy. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

My Allopathy/ Modern Medicine is not perfect. We have failures. We have limitations. We have multiple, dangerous and sometimes fatal side effects, all recorded and informed to the patients. Nothing is hidden. Our pathy is unfortunately costly, as it has many licences, instruments and processes. But we have the largest number of people all over the world rushing to us every moment, we are here and ready, day and night, serving and saving them, with scientific principles universally accepted and respected.

Every accident goes to an Allopath, bleeding and dying, in a hope to survive. Most diagnosed cancers receive their treatments and some are even cured in Allopathic hospitals. Every coma reaches an Allopathic hospital, with their family’s folded hands begging to bring back a father, a mother, wife, husband, child back from the clutches of death. Most of these go back alive and happy, some we cannot save. Are these failures of Allopathic medicine your strengths? Could you have saved those? Do our minor inabilities, limitations, failures make you feel great? If so, you need a visit to a qualified psychiatrist: if your pathy has one.

It is pathetic to see the excessive quackery allowed in rural India, looting innocents with cheap deceptive tactics, false claims of curing jaundice, rabies, paralysis, epilepsy and what not. It is pathetic to see famous public figures criticising Allopathy and then themselves getting admitted in the best, priciest, Allopathic hospitals in India or abroad. What other proof of shameless hypocrisy do we need? Criticising Allopathy is a serious disease. I think it is a type of anosognosia: inability to understand the reality of one’s own illness/ condition.

After reading such baseless criticisms of Allopathy, my foremost wish is to invent ways to perform a brain transplant on their authors. However, a “rejection” of a good brain by their bodies (you know, a dangerous side effect of Allopathy) is really worrisome. So we will let them be- please treat yourself with your best medicine: Allonil.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Allopathy is now known as “Modern Medicine”. However to reply the critics and to best reach masses I have used the term Allopathy, which they use while criticising it.

Welcome to translate this article in local languages with due credits. This article is only aimed only at those who spread misinformation and hatred for Allopathy. I do not disrespect any other recognised pathies.

Please share unedited.