Tag Archives: birthday

To pause for respect

To pause for respect

To pause for respect

© Dr Rajas Deshpande

After completing the neurological examination, I asked Mr Harkishan Budhrani to sit down and put his shoes on. His son accompanying him got up, sat near his father’s feet and started to adjust his father’s shoes for comfort.

To pause for respect was my only choice.

Mr Harkishan Budhrani is a British citizen, and so are his sons Mr Naresh and Mr Raj. Every time one of them accompanies Mr. Budhrani for the consultation. They not only come prepared with their father’s health details, but also take notes and follow all the suggestions. Yet what is most noticeable for me as a doctor is the care and respect with which they speak to their father and treat him. There’s nothing artificial about their attitude, which makes it special! They take his permission for every change we agree to make, explain him and patiently wait for his consent and questions. They hold his hand and even ask him whether it is ok to walk ahead! Rarely do we see children from very affluent families being so careful and loving to their parents.

In an era where many a times sons and daughters accompanying their parents either bluntly ask “How long is the parent going to survive, What basic minimum can be done without much expenditure, Is it okay not to treat at all” etc., when we come across such extremely gratifying moments, I feel that all is not lost. By experience now I don’t think that this belongs specifically to Indian culture, in fact people from most cultures in the world treat their parents far better than many Indians. The very fact that Our govt and courts have to make laws and take steps for abandoned and neglected parents speaks a lot about what is happening. In fact, the more affluent a family is, the less likely that the children genuinely care for their parents.

Taking for granted that the parents do not want to live longer, deciding on their behalf that expensive treatments are useless and unwanted, oversimplifying all complaints as ‘age related’ and completely neglecting medical care are common observations in our practice.

This moment therefore brought me a beautiful ray of hope.

21st July 2018 is Mr. Harkishan Budhrani’s 85th Birthday. While I pray for his excellent health and perpetual happiness, I wish that every parent is as fortunate as him and that Mr Budhrani lives on many more hundred years as an example for all of us.

©️ Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Thank you, Life; Thank You, God!

Thank you, Life, Thank You God!
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This was my first birthday without either parent, and I woke up feeling sad about it. Who knew, by the end of the day, God will have set things right, as He always does! Add to that an important message that the day left..

Knowing myself, I cannot understand how someone can like or love such an asocial reclusive loner who is obsessive, over-expectant, irritable, slightly egoistic, sarcastic, does not party or gossip, and cannot understand many people around himself.

Somehow though, the friend list is full, thousands of wishes pour in from across the world, and personalised messages and calls and prayers for happinees, health and everything good keep resounding the day with God’s grace. I did not know how many souls I am connected to, and my heart is full of joy today that so many people actually think of me!

Many colleagues dropped in to wish (in fact since two days prior!), bringing gifts (Oh I love them!). And at the end of the day came the family: my beloved students, who come with the sole aim of make me laugh, become a child again.

To deserve this love over and over again, for this is my only treasure and achievement, I must now make an effort: to be less sarcastic, irritable, obsessive, and to be always thankful for these beautiful people in my life. I will make an honest effort!

I can never forget what my friends and students love me most for: my effort to imbibe kindness and humanity and to live a life drenched in an honest culture of creative intellect and equality. On this birthday, I have promised myself to try and improve myself every which way possible, to deserve this love and affection.

Thank you, everyone who wished me today!

Thank you God, Thank you Life, for today!
(c) Dr. Rajas Deshpande