Tag Archives: Caregiver

The Definition Of Love

 

The Definition Of Love
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

claude-and-marie
How frequently do we use the phrase “True Love”! As if there existed some other form of Love..
Mr. Claude Gatien, a farmer from the city of Tours in France, decided at the age of 36 that he wants to change his career. He started to work as a music salesman, selling CDs. Eventually he got a job as an assistant to a psychotherapist in Paris.
He met Ms. Marie Briquet there. She was a social worker, dedicating all her time to the sick as a volunteer. He respected her work, and helped her often. They fell in love. She told him she was having some mild neurological symptoms, mainly tremor and fatigue.
His thinking was as innocently clear as the first rays of a rising sun. Love was the only bond and the most precious thing between them. They stayed together, and started taking care of each other.
The psychotherapist who they worked with was a spiritual man, with immense love for India, mainly for its spirituality. Like most with a heart, he followed his calling. By then, Claude and Marie had developed the same affection towards spirituality, and followed their ‘Spiritual Guru’ to India.
“We fell in love with India”, Claude told me; “because for some reason I find that my mind is at peace here. We have everything in France, still we felt happier in India, because there is so much spirituality in the region, and even among its people”.
They are staying together for over 27 years now. “We never thought of marriage as we thought it is not necessary to perform rituals to prove either love or honesty of intention” Claude said, after consulting Marie in cute French. “It was her answer, but I feel the same” he added, winking!
Multiple Sclerosis, that scary disease of brain and spine, took away Marie’s ability to walk over 5 years ago. She has become almost completely dependent and wheelchair bound. Claude attends her 24/365. “I enjoy caring for her. It gives me many more opportunities to tell her how much I love her” he says.
Mostly people swear about anything that they want others to believe. A teacher taught me long ago never to “swear or promise”, but instead keep every word, complete every commitment without using the words “Promise or Swear”. “Everything you say is actually your commitment” he infused. I met the personification of that principle in Claude.
About a month ago, Marie suddenly had to be admitted in the ICU for some serious complication. Needless to say, Claude was by her side all the time. She was unconscious for over two days. One late night I had to attend some call, and went to the ICU to check if there was a change in her condition. Claude was sitting by her side, sleepy but awake, looking at her face.
“I can wait here for some time. Do you want to take a nap?” I asked him.
“Oh no, Thank you doctor. I won’t sleep till she wakes up. If she wakes up and does not see me, she will worry about me. That may stress her. Once she opens eyes, I will tell her she is ok, make her smile, then I will sleep” he said.
That was a month ago. They came for a visit yesterday. I requested their permission to share their love story. He said he was willing, then asked for her permission.
Then I saw the beautiful smile that had made Claude fall in love with Marie.
“Yes.. She says this is all there is to share about life.” Claude told me, translating.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande