Tag Archives: discrimination

The Last Bullet For Indian Private Healthcare


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Many doctors, nurses and other staff, police officers are dying due to corona exposure. Recently the quarantine period of doctors was cancelled. To add to this, very ridiculously, doctors’ salaries were reduced, and covid funds were deducted from even frontline warriors’ salary. This is like taking money from a soldier’s paycheck to fund the army!!

When I recently heard some people shouting about excess bills in hospitals, doctors not working etc., I felt like shouting back too, but one cannot argue with a sold TV screen.

For decades India has had
Excess urban crowding,
Very poor hygiene.
Very high poverty and illiteracy.
Lack of town-planning for slums.
Severe lack of state/ national healthcare infrastructure.
Tiniest budget for healthcare.
Perpetually under-functioning government hospitals. Every season hundreds die due to epidemics.

Where were you till before the pandemic? Who is responsible for all of the above? Do you want to discuss these factors which are responsible for the pandemic chaos today? Or now you just blame it all upon Doctors and Private hospitals?© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Only private doctors with small nursing homes and dispensaries, clinics were shouldering all healthcare needs that government hospitals could not provide. They had low profits and catered to middle and lower class. These were destroyed in last few years because of too many stringent regulations and costly licensing. Many closed down. Legal troubles by relatives, politicos supporting them and vandalising hospitals forced many private doctors to stop admitting patients. Protection to doctors was denied by almost all governments till before this pandemic.

Indian poverty is never ending, and charity cannot run anything perpetually unless there’s a strong fund generating mechanism supporting it. If someone expects that doctors charging 2 rupees fees are the ideal healthcare for all our medical needs, they should happily go to such a doctor. We highly respect them too, but it is their choice and there are obvious limitations to that. To develop advanced healthcare in India, higher profits were necessary for higher investment. Corporates, some businessmen and the likes of Mr. Ambani pitched in. Advanced healthcare with heart and liver transplants, complicated brain surgeries, cancer treatments came to India because of these investors. They accepted all the conditions of governments to accommodate over twenty percent poor, nonpaying patients via various schemes. The payments for running these schemes were delayed by various govts for years, and the hospitals were arm-twisted in still continuing to treat everyone. The only source of profits was private and some insurance patients who were paying a higher fees for facilities: from air-conditioning, food to choice of specialists. Higher quality of staff, especially nursing and technicians who can operate high end machinery and robotics requires very high salaries. Maintenance costs are heavy. A specialist cannot do much without such a very good team. Each of these requires good if not great salaries, as they are continuously invited by developed countries who pay far higher.

But then every patient wants the highest facilities, best staff and specialist team, with no payment or basic payment. There’s no concept of billing beyond actual price of medicines and room charges. Service and maintenance is considered a ‘free right’. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Even in this modern era of equality, a higher class Indian officer like a minister gets a higher room, better food and other facilities, even higher medical bill sanctions, whereas the labourer from his department gets minimum basic facilities and bill eligibility only for general ward. Law allows higher healthcare’s standards and payments for higher officials. Why do they even have classes in railways and airplanes? If a “Gareeb bechara” migrant wants to fly home, should we offer him road transport or compassionate air travel? Why don’t we do for all the poor something that you all expect doctors and hospitals to do?

We don’t mind if basic and emergency healthcare is uniformly cheap or free for everyone. But when you force a high-end medical commodity (skill-time-investment-staff) to be sold at a loss or extremely marginal profit, you kill the system.

Doctors do not differentiate when making a diagnosis or treating anyone from any financial/ power background. But the private hospitals must be allowed to cater to different classes, earning their profits. That is their only stimulus to grow forward, engage best personnel and bring advanced healthcare to India. Different governments have failed at maintaining high standards of healthcare in their respective set-ups (with some proud exceptions- but because that’s where our powerful go). Some hospitals indeed take more bills for better class of services, including staff, but none of them forces a patient to come to them. Even these hospitals never deny free emergency treatment to anyone.

“But isn’t healthcare a charity? Haven’t you taken oaths to serve?” our loudmouth hypocrites ask.

Yes we have taken an oath to serve everyone rich and poor equally, but no, we have not taken any oath to neglect our own health and well being. Yes we have taken an oath to serve, but we have not taken any oath to live in perpetual poverty and financial stress. Yes we are under an oath to do our best for every patient, but we will not be bending backwards to fulfil their unreasonable demands. Yes we want to save every life, even if it is dangerous , but we will not unnecessarily endanger our own life because someone forces us. We haven’t taken an oath to abandon our families. The Hippocratic oath does not ask any doctor to stay hungry, work without sleep, and do the unscientific because various governments cannot pay for adequate number of doctors. Still we are doing all this already. Let us be clear: we proudly and intellectually serve our country, but we refuse to be considered slaves of either the system or the society. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Capping bills in private hospitals will be the last bullet for all advances in healthcare development in India. Be prepared to go back to the chaos of ancient times in that case. Quality will suffer most: right from specialists to nurses to medicines. You can of course force one generation of doctors to work like this, under low cost and excess work. People aren’t fools to send their children to such hells of social slavery. Yes you read that right. There’s a difference between service and slavery. Do not attempt to turn medical service providers into slaves. It will backfire very sourly.

Instead of this, the government can invest in existing private healthcare players to create low cost infrastructure alongside their private hospitals, or privatising its own healthcare institutions with increased capacity. Our governments do have friends in very high places who can invest.

We love India. We are not against any particular government, and this post is not against any leader or party. But we do feel very strongly that healthcare decisions must be made involving everyone concerned, that this people-pleasing for short term will turn out to be a huge disaster in long run, and it will be irreversible. If any government thinks that cancelling hospital permits and doctors’ licences in a country with severe shortage of medical services is the right way forward, God help it.

If private and corporate hospitals start shutting down now, it will be permanent. India will then have to mostly rely upon prayers alone for healthcare. And of course those who think they know medical science more than doctors. India has no dearth of such “fatally self-medicating” ignoramuses.

Jai Hind

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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Disoriented


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“Doc, he appears confused. He has delusions. He was very methodical and logical earlier. He had excellent deduction and was considered a genius among his colleagues. Yet now he himself does not understand that he is making gross mistakes in making simple decisions. He appears completely disoriented…” the lady gave me an update in a deeply concerned voice. The devastating fear of mental, intellectual decline of a beloved is not grasped by all. For want of simplicity, we term it dementia. However, the meaning of this term is far broader and deeper than what most people can grasp, and the mental agony that the spouse goes through is beyond many a people’s emotional basket too. Infections and low sodium levels can often worsen the mental-cognitive personality of the elderly. I advised her a few tests to be done urgently and returned to my quarantine chores.

Her words kept on echoing for some time in my mind. This pandemic has challenged what the humanity perceived as truth till date. Disoriented, demented, illogical, delusional: isn’t that what the whole humanity has become today? Hasn’t this virus uncovered our intellectual, emotional limitations and selfish vulnerabilities? Have we not become exactly what the best human souls taught us never to become: money minded selfish humanoids hiding behind facades of clever and intelligent, politically correct wordplays, fatally attracted to glamour and clamour, emotionally cut off from the world, concentrating upon our families, cults, religions and regions? And of course, intermittently well-crafting the social service façade by donations, our signature face on every penny.

Financial success and numbers have become the new, hidden definition of life. Some wisely hide the word ‘Financial’ in the prior sentence. We won’t be able to name any financially unsuccessful / poor geniuses from the fields of medicine, science, art and even sports. I do not hate capitalism, in fact I believe that wealth creators are the ones who fuel the world. But among these are the compassionate and human who would rather be a million short of their billion rather than destroying a competitor and his/ her business. Squeezing-twisting every arm in the giant machinery that governs laws to finish everyone else and engulf everything with a gluttony that is hailed as business acumen is a real tragedy unfolding right now. We very gladly become the proud cogwheels of such ‘man-eating’ giant machineries that bleed competitors to a certain death.

While never being able to make peace with our neighbours we speak of world peace. We cannot bring ourselves to acknowledge the good in our competitors and enemies, we cannot deal with those with a different religion or country, come what may! While excepting ourselves from laws and rules we blame and blast those others who break laws. While secretly cultivating the filthy “money is all that matters” gene in our next generation, we encourage blindness towards the moral, ethical bypasses required to earn humungous money. The amount of real happiness, truth and honesty that needs to be sacrificed to be extremely rich is the worst inheritance our next generations will have to suffer from. Clever Wordplays is the sociopolitical success mantra of today!

I had never thought that I will witness anything more emotionally traumatic after seeing the hundreds of dead bodies and bleeding, broken-bone victims during the Killari earthquake. Today’s migrant crisis appears to cause deeper wounds than that upon our soul. This is a very tragic question, but what causes more hurt: witnessing dead bodies or extreme suffering of the living? Millions of migrants facing the worst wrath of fate, walking under a scorching sun towards a faraway home with their children, some dying, some delivering on the roads, strong men and women labourers breaking down and wailing – will be a shameful and guilty memory which I will carry for the rest of my life. We have excess caps and shoes; they are walking in rude heat bare headed and barefoot for hundreds of miles. We are discovering new cooking skills, they are discovering new depths of hunger. We are complaining about broken air conditioners, they are gasping for a glimpse of their beloveds in their zuggi-zopdi. We are too comfortable and grateful knowing that we are not them.

That India is overpopulated appears to be our strength on social media. We can show how many million fans, hits and likes there are, but we cannot speak a word about a tragedy which happens right in our backyard. We are scared of the worst: socio-political ostracisation, defamation, destruction of a hard-earned reputation and closure of financial support for survival. An intellectual is more scared of losing freedom of creativity, giving his best to the world and so mostly decides to be a silent spectator around strongmen with their invisible socio-political weaponry. Society as a whole has never protected or rewarded its intellectuals, especially in backward countries.

This pandemic will go. Few will have changed their perceptions of the world. Few understand that anything requiring a crowd must please a crowd’s intelligence quotient. Because crowds gather for hate easier than for love. Look at what content gets the best response: hate mongering, roasts, nudity, vulgar language and sloganeering. None of these is a proud achievement of humanity, yet these are the top hits. Pleasing a crowd can entertain, can earn one money, fame and votes too, but cannot ever bring this world health, happiness or peace. Entertainment, although critically essential for a stress-free mind, although soul-awakening, will never be among the first essentials of reducing hunger, pain, disease and suffering. There indeed was a time when entertainment was creative, with art, literature, acting, music and sports, fulfilling for the soul, but now only the superficial, jaded antics and the gaudy glitter with numbers remains the identity of most entertainment forms.

We indeed are disoriented. Yes, I too am guilty of some such disorientation. I have consciously decided to change. I do not have all answers right now, but I better appreciate the bigger picture now. My perceptions of what matters most have further changed. My faith in human nature has been deeply wounded, but my hope has always won, and I will help it heal even now. The current crises just told me what human race truly needs. My wish to make everyone understand has decided to take a back seat. My wish to do what I can is in the driving seat now. My contribution will be probably too small, but I have started.

I want to be well oriented for the rest of my life.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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Suspend All Doctors, Cancel Their Registrations…


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Have you ever spoken with a doctor, a judge, a police, minister or an an IAS officer in their office? Almost every common man has had almost a similar experience: an arrogant air of authority, hidden hints of superiority and a subtle dose of “I know better than you” whenever one tries to argue. Now we know all of the above can be wrong occasionally, at all levels. Of course, there are exceptions in all professions. In a new world which is now shedding away traditional chains of inequality and racist slavery, we Indians are probably the most reluctant to change. In performing one’s duty, no one is superior to those they serve.

A doctor needs to be patient and compassionate with the ill-behaved and arrogant, unlike police, judge or minister who will punish people for such behaviour. Additionally, far before COVID19, there have been fatal infections like MDR Tuberculosis and other viruses which have endangered and even killed doctors. The stress of this daily fear of death is difficult to explain to the idiots who argue “but you yourself chose this profession, nobody forced you, you knew all the time about these risks”.
My dear infinite stupid, yes, I chose this profession willingly, knowing the risks, but to live on and serve, not to willingly and knowingly expose myself to fatal infections. A soldier joins the military ‘to live on and fight and protect the country, not with a wish to die with enemy’s bullets’.
When a citizen tells them from the comfort of a protected home that “You already knew you could die in the army”, it is ingratitude and insult to their profession. We choose to be in this profession because our compassion and courage is higher than our fear, not because we want to die. To be honest, we do not expect many to even grasp this concept. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I have deep respect for some Judges, IAS and police officers who are geniuses, and the first mark of a genius is a humble openness to all logical argument, with parsimony of words and zero presumptions of having a superior knowledge. Even a few minutes with them enhances your life. They are calm and respectful of others. Their language is never “Suspend, Fire, Transfer or Shoot”, because they know what it takes for a genuine person to reach where they are. These geniuses are far above attention seeking, cheap media publicity, arrogant show of authority and blame-mud-slinging to cover their own mistakes, inferiority complexes, and inadequacies.

It takes longest time and a hardest curriculum with hands-on experience of years to make every single doctor. The more specialised a doctor becomes, the rarer it is to replace his experience. Still anyone can commit mistakes.
If a Judge, a police Officer, a Minister, an IAS officer is wrong, does our constitution allow any TDH in media or society to get up and threaten them with suspension? Can you imagine a nagarsewaks / municipal councillor / local politico, goons or even major/ minor officers threatening a judge, IAS officer or a commissioner with cancellation of their rank, licence or degree? Even the courts of law do not suspend anyone or strip them of their hard earned registration without giving them a complete and patient hearing.

Yet almost every TDH in almost every nook and corner in India, from temporarily elected less-schooled representatives to highly educated junior and senior administrative officers often threaten on TV channels that doctors’ registration, licence and degrees will be cancelled. This apparently gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment and also sends a wrong message to a public that these doctors must serve.

In a country where the policy makers have miserably failed for generations to create enough doctors for their population, where we still continue to have that discrepancy, suspending a doctor is like snatching away food from someone already dying of hunger. One doctor gone screws up many patients’ lives. There’s no other profession where generations are taken care of, lifelong, by one person. Yet apparently, some officer’s egos are more important than those patient’s families, health and lives.

Every day there are news of political, social reasons of suspending, threatening doctors. Deny concessions, freebies, shoe-licking, decline to compromise upon scientific principles or accept inhuman conditions for doctors, and almost every officer unleashes their administrative adrenaline pumps against the entire medical profession. Refuse to accept incorrect policies and guidelines that are against patient’s interests, and insubordination leads to losing your jobs. The most shameful and pathetic addition to this “Suspend-Crazy” admin category are some senior doctors who fail to guard the principles and juniors of their own glorious, noble profession. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Like every Judge, Police or IAS officer, even politician, every doctor has also worked very hard to earn their degree and licensing. Every Medical college and University in India is approved by the government. The Medical Council of India has been given the authority and statute to license a medical practitioner upon presenting his / her degree and following principles it has laid down. No one other than the MCI should be able to cancel the licence of a registered medical practitioner. Every case of suspension of a doctor: whether a postgraduate or a senior doctor should be referred to a separate impartial MCI committee. Even the Hon’ble courts of law usually request expert opinion before concluding about medical issues / cases. Yet, our admins and politicians from different states suspend and threaten doctor’s registration cancellation as if it was granted by them or their party or government as a favour. No. We don’t accept that. Every IMA branch in every city must stand by such victimised doctors, protest such injustice, represent the harassed doctor and protect him/ her.

There of-course are doctors who commit mistakes, like Police Officers, IAS officers, Ministers or even some Judges. All of them should be accountable and be brought to the right penalty with the same dignity as others. No one has the right to pretend that a doctor is a slave to their whims, greed and tantrums. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Hon’ble Supreme Court has very clearly stressed the fact that it is very important that doctors should be able to work and make their decisions without stress, insecurity, duress or fear. The article above intends to highlight that same purpose, especially in the light of some recent happenings. Every doctor out there is risking life only to save others, serve the nation. They do have problems, issues and insecurities that need sorting out. Please address their issues scientifically and logically, rather than inhumanly threatening them by suspension and cancellation of licences because you have no resources, funds or answers. Treat your doctors with the same compassion that you expect from them. Or, if you know better, if you want doctors to blindly follow unscientific instructions of admins and whims of politicos why make doctors? Suspend all doctors at once and do it all yourself.

India will definitely be healthier if you listen to the doctors, and don’t threaten or suspend them for trivial reasons.
Jai Hind!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Written with a sad heart that on one hand where the Hon’ble PM has asked people to respect and appreciate the efforts of doctors, nurses and other corona warriors, many are looking for reasons to corner, threaten and suspend them at the drop of a hat, sometimes just for headlines.

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Lost and Saved Life: The Indian Puzzle

Mumbai Diary-2

Lost and Saved Life: The Indian Puzzle

© DR. RAJAS DESHPANDE

He had a sudden, severe chest pain, so he told his office-colleague so. The colleague first called his wife and alerted her “Bhabhiji please don’t panic, I am taking your husband to this hospital, please reach there as soon as possible and give me a call once you reach”.

The cab driver grasped the situation at once and drove as fast as he could. He prayed in his heart. Just a kilometre before the hospital, there was a huge mob blocking the road. A great leader was shouting aloud about his pride for his religion and patriotism, least aware that they were all blocking many children and mothers trying to reach home, patients and doctors trying to reach hospitals. The bought crowd was eagerly listening to the violence provoking words of this rich politician, also a convict and suspect in many crimes, There was less audience at the real places of God’s worship nowadays than at political speeches giving religious sermons, mixing them with the love for one’s nation!

The cabbie honked. Two monstrous looking goons peeped in his window and started abusing him insanely, least aware about the women and children around. The cabbie was abused first for his profession, then his language, and the state he had come from, threatened to be burnt alive along with family if he honked again when the ‘great’ leader was speaking.©️Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The cabbie begged with folded hands: “Sirji forgive me, I accept my mistakes, but there’s a patient on the back seat. He looks serious, we must reach the hospital as quickly as possible. For god sake, let us go”.

One of the goons opened the back door and asked this patient his name. After he saw the chest-clutching patient almost gasping, they made way and allowed the cab to leave.

Now the patient had started profusely sweating. His face had turned bluish, and he was making efforts to even breathe well. He could not speak. As they entered the hospital, the patient’s friend noticed that the patient had stopped breathing.

He shouted in panic. The wardboy and the cabbie lifted the patient on a stretcher and ran towards the emergency room.

A frantic, fearful sound of thuds of the last heart massage was now heard, along with breaking of many glass syringes and instructions shouted by doctors and nurses. A tube to restart breathing artificially was inserted in the patient’s throat. ©️Dr. Rajas Deshpande

There was no one to cry for this patient there. His friend was sitting outside the emergency room, clutching his head, stunned. The cab driver had left without taking his bills. Religion and Patriotism stayed outside the hospital campus, they couldn’t save lives.

A young and dynamic heart specialist who had just returned to India saw the ECG of this patient. An urgent action was required. He called upon the patient’s friend to sign a consent.

The friend hesitated and refused. There were a lot of news every day everywhere about doctors fleecing patients, earning money by misuse of stents and surgeries. The friend no more believed in what this doctor told him.

“I don’t know. Wait till his wife arrives, she will be here in an hour”.

Every millisecond was crucial. The dynamic heart specialist called his medical director. “Sir, I take full responsibility for this case, he needs immediate action”. The medical director cautioned him: “Doc, if anything goes wrong, if the outcome is not good, they will file a murder case against you. Why do you want to risk your bright career at the very beginning? You must also think that you don’t have any political godfather”.

The doctor rushed the patient to the cathlab and inserted three stents in the patient’s heart, that resumed the normal blood flow to heart. The patient’s heart function returned to near normal in an hour. By the time the patient’s wife arrived, the lost life of the patient was brought back. The next day, the patient could breathe well by himself.

Now the most crucial puzzles: which state did the cabbie come from? What was the caste of this patient? To what country did the helpful friend belong? Why didn’t they go to the government hospitals run by those who criticise private doctors and hospitals? And lastly, what was the religion of the doctor who saved this patient risking his own life and career?

Any sane person with an ounce of humanity in his heart won’t ask these stupid questions. But some Indian leaders and their followers do. And it is very sad and unfortunate that the answers to these questions cannot be openly revealed in my beloved India.

©️Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Neurologist

Mumbai/ Pune

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Victim? Dr. Reena’s story

Victim? Dr. Reena’s story

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“I am being victimised, Sir! I have tried to do my best, but my senior has developed some prejudice against me and has started to find faults with everything I do. I don’t know, I feel suicidal sometimes” the resident doctor Reena said, breaking down. She was into medicine, one of the toughest branches for post graduation.

This was a difficult situation. It is very well known that some seniors and teachers do take advantage of the situation to mistreat and misuse their students or subordinates. It is also well known that both men and women in every profession, including medicine, have strong gender biases and favouritism. Sycophancy is so essential in India, that I wonder sometimes whether an official bachelors / masters “Chamchagiri” (sycophancy) certificate will be necessary before people are selected for their jobs.

I gave her some instructions to ignore words and minor incidences, and concentrate on doing her official duties with concentration. I also counselled her about how to handle egoistic, arrogant seniors. She was supposed to follow up next week.

That weekend, I met a colleague of mine, Dr. Anand, in the coffee shop. There was no OPD, it being a Sunday. We sipped coffee in the canteen, telling each other funny stuff about other colleagues. Medicine provides great entertainment too, in the form of various types of doctors, and we start with ourselves usually. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Just then, another doctor came in, Dr. Anand invited him to join us and introduced me to him as Dr. Ashwin. “Ashwin was my junior resident” said Dr. Anand, “and one of the most brilliant students. He’s a wiz. He wanted to work for the downtrodden, so he has continued to work at the govt. hospital after his MD. Most dedicated! That’s why most girls around us liked him and we all envied him”. It is rare for Anand to praise someone this much, I was quite impressed and happy.

But Dr. Ashwin appeared quite disturbed. Dr. Anand asked him if he was ok.

“No, yaar. I am facing a big problem. There’s this girl in my unit, who has made my life hell. She has filed complaints against me to the dean, my name is all mud”.

“Complain against you?” said Dr. Anand, truly surprised “Even your wife never complains against you”. He was trying to lighten up the mood. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“Yes. But you know how heavy our PG duties are. This girl, besides being lousy and careless, refuses to finish her work, constantly looks at the watch and doesn’t want to be corrected. How can we tolerate carelessness in medicine? There are patients in the ICU and this lady keeps busy with her cellphone! I gave her a warning that I will complain, but instead, she went ahead and complained that I was harassing her, implying serious charges. Fortunately my wife and the dean understand the situation, but you know some people in the campus would rather see me down. I don’t know what to do. I am thinking of resigning”.

“Can you share her name?” I asked, cautiously. The guess was correct. It indeed was Dr. Reena.

“I tried to talk to her, I requested her to call her parents. Apparently she has grown up as a pampered child, her parents refuse to even think that she can be wrong. They started complaining that their daughter didn’t get enough rest and good food, that she has always been a super genius kid and how many a times even her teachers could not understand her genius”.

Now the picture was clear, with the other side of the story revealed.

There indeed is, nowadays, a rampant tendency to play a victim, especially to cover up for one’s own failures, inadequacies and lethargy. Children who allege that their failures are either because of their parents being over disciplined or completely negligent, boys who hate their parents and refuse accepting that they fell short of hard work and dedication because of too many diversions, girls who sometimes lie about “sexual abuse”, and employees who underperform only to blame it upon a racist / pervert / prejudiced boss are classical examples when stress factors are analysed well. There was one girl who alleged abuse by her step father, just to tell me minutes later that it was probably her imagination, and that she didn’t know if it was a dream! It was her mother who then revealed that the girl had always used that ‘dream reality’ sequence whenever she wanted something and was refused. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

There indeed is rampant true victimisation in all these areas, and one must always stand by the victim. But the overflow of sympathy that drowns sense and reasoning (thank you, media and some movies!) must always be avoided. Differentiating ‘true’ and ‘pseudo’ victims is never easy especially because there always will be the social biases. Most Indian men unfortunately truly look down upon women, most seniors think that juniors cannot be more intelligent, parents often mentally overpower logic when dealing with kids etc.. Still there indeed are many who hide behind the “victim” tag, just to take advantage of the sympathy and protection it offers, using it to hide their own negative side. A lot of people use suicide threats, false complaints and other pressure tactics to emotionally exploit and threaten others. When this happens in a workplace, it poisons the whole atmosphere. There is indeed no protection for the true victims here.

Next time when Dr. Reena came to visit, I told her how I chanced upon the doctor who was “troubling” her. As expected, she cried and defended her stance, but after some gentle coaxing, when I reiterated that the actual problem must be dealt with, she agreed to have a meeting with Dr. Ashwin. I called in a female counsellor too, and in a few meetings, we could sort out the issue.

Medical career is, difficult, it is important to do every single thing perfectly and with utmost care and concentration. No one else can ever replace the life-saving responsibility of a doctor on duty. A doctor who isn’t fully attentive to everything about every patient can be dangerous.

Dr. Reena agreed to go by the duties allotted and improve her performance, while Dr. Ashwin reassured her that he had nothing personal against her, that she could always compare her duties and performance with her other batchmates. He also told her that now onwards he will mind his words better. She withdrew the complaint.

Dedicated to those such who have had this horrible experience.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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एक आशीर्वाद का रंग (डॉ. बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर की स्मृति को समर्पित)

एक आशीर्वाद का रंग
(डॉ. बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर की स्मृति को समर्पित)
© डॉ. राजस देशपांडे
न्यूरोलॉजिस्ट पुणे

दवाई की मात्रा को सावधानी से गिनकर मैंने इंट्रावेनस सोल्यूशन तैयार किया. सुई पहले से ही लगाकर रखी थी. “मैं दवाई का इंजेक्शन शुरू कर रहा हूँ. अगर कोई भी तकलीफ हो तो तुरंत बताइये, मैं यहीं बैठा हूँ” मैंने उस बूढी औरत से कहा. अपने दर्द की परतों के पीछे से वह मुस्कुराई. उसका बेटा, मेरा लेक्चरर डॉ. एसके , वहीँ खड़ा था. उसने अपनी माँ के सर पर हाथ रखा, और कहा, “ये मेरा विद्यार्थी यहीं रुकेगा. मुझे बाकी पेशंट देखने हैं, आज काफी भीड़ हैं. तू चिंता न कर माँ, अगर कुछ जरूरत हो तो इसे बता देना”. वह चला गया.

डॉ. एसके की माँ को कैंसर के लिए कीमोथेरेपी दी जा रही थी. इसमें से एक दवाई का सॉलूशन तैयार करना और उसे इंट्रावेनस (खून की नसों में से) बराबर मात्रा में देना काफी मुश्किल काम था. मेरे गाइड डॉ. प्रदीप (पिवाय) मुळे ने मुझे कुछ दिन पहले ही इस दवाई के बारे में सिखाया था, इसलिए डॉ. एसके ने मुझे बुलाया था. मैं तब एक सरकारी दवाखाने में अपने एमडी मेडिसिन के पहले वर्ष का रेजिडेंट डॉक्टर था.

कुछ समय के बाद मैंने देखा की उस पेशंट की यूरिन बैग (पेशाब की थैली) पूरी तरह से भर गई थी. वार्ड में काम करने वाली मौसी किसी और काम से बाहर गई थी. ऐसे हालात में एक रेजिडेंट डॉक्टर को हर काम करना पड़ता है. मैंने ग्लव्स / दस्ताने पहनकर नर्स से एक बाल्टी मांगी, और यूरिन बैग से उसमें पेशाब निकलकर वार्ड के बाथरूम की तरफ चल पड़ा. तभी डॉ. एसके वापिस आ गए. उन्होंने मुझसे वह बाल्टी मांगी, कहा “मैं ले जाता हूँ” पर मैंने कहा के मैंने ग्लव्स पहने हैं, मैं ही रखकर आता हूँ. मैंने वह बाल्टी वार्ड के बाथरूम के बाहर रख दी, मौसी बाद में उसे साफ़ कर देती. © डॉ. राजस देशपांडे

जब दवाई ख़त्म हुई, तो डॉ. एसके ने मुझे चाय पीने के लिए साथ चलने के लिए कहा. हॉस्पिटल के पीछे ही एक छोटी सी चाय की दुकान थी. थोड़ा हिचकिचाने के बाद उन्होने कहा : “सुनो, ग़लतफ़हमी न हो, लेकिन जब मैंने देखा कि तुम मेरी माँ के पेशाब की बाल्टी लेकर जा रहे थे, मुज्झे अचम्भा सा हुआ. तुम ब्राह्मण हो ना? जब तुम बाहर थे, तो मेरी माँ ने भी मुझ पर गुस्सा किया, और कहा, क्यों मैंने तुम्हे वो बाल्टी उठाने दी. हम बहुजन समाज से आते हैं. तुम्हे पता भी होगा, मैं अपने समाज के एसोसिएशन का नेता हूँ.”.

मुझे पता था. डॉ. एसके के नाम से काफी लोग डरते थे. पर एक निहायत बेडर और आक्रामक नेता होने के बावजूद वो एक अच्छे दिलवाला इंसान भी था. जब भी किसी पर अन्याय होता, तोह बिना जाति-पाती के बारे में सोचे वो उसकी मदद करता. गरीबों के लिए उसे विशेष प्रेम और सहानुभूति थी. किसी तरह का भेदभाव उसे पसंद नहीं था.

मैंने कहा “सर, मैं ये सब नहीं सोचता. पेशेंट तो पेशंट ही होता है, पर यहाँ वो आपकी माँ भी हैं, जो भी उसके लिए करना पड़े मेरा तो कर्त्तव्य बनता है. मैं अपने मन में कभी जाति-पाती का विचार न करूँ, न ही कभी किसी से भेदभाव करूँ, ये ही तालीम मुझे मेरे माता पिता ने मुझे बचपन से दी है”. © डॉ. राजस देशपांडे

“ठीक है”, उन्होंने कहा, “मेरा तुम्हारे बारे में कोई पूर्वग्रह / प्रेज्यूडिस था, वो अब चला गया. अगर तुम्हे कोई भी विपत्ति कभी भी हो, तो बड़ा भाई समझकर मुझे बता देना.” . कितनी ईमानदारी और धैर्य से उन्होंने एक कठिन बात को सरलता से कहा था!
जबतक अपने आप को दुसरे भारतीयों से ऊंचा या अलग समझने वाले हर भारतीय को कोई पश्चिमी जातिवादी (रेसिस्ट) “ब्राउन / ब्लैक” कहकर नीचा नहीं दिखता, उसे भेदभाव का दर्द नहीं समझ सकता.

संयोग से, कुछ दिन बाद ही, मेरी अपने एक प्रोफेसर से कुछ तू तू मैं मैं हो गई . उन्होंने मुझे अपने चैम्बर में बुलाकर कहा ” जब तक मैं तेरा एग्जामिनर हूँ, तू पास नहीं होगा”. मैं परेशान हो गया. मेरी आर्थिक स्थिति तो खस्ता हाल थी ही, पर मेरा बेटा अभी छोटा सा था और मेरे माँ-बाप मेरे वापिस आकर उनके पास रहने कि आस लगाए बैठे थे. फेल होना मेरे लिए बहुत बड़ी मुश्किल खड़ी कर देता. © डॉ. राजस देशपांडे

मैंने डॉ. एसके से मिलकर मेरी परेशानी बताई. वो मुझे उस प्रोफेसर से मिलने ले गए. पहले उन्होंने मुझसे कहा के मैं उस प्रोफेसर से माफ़ी मांगू, बहस के लिए. मैंने माफ़ी मांग ली. फिर उन्होंने उस प्रोफेसर से कहा “राजस मेरा छोटा भाई है.इसे कभी कोई धमकी न देना. अगर ये परीक्षा में अच्छा परफॉर्म करें, तो इसे पास कीजिये, अगर नहीं, तो आप इसे भले ही फेल कीजिये. लेकिन अच्छा परफॉर्म करने के बावजूद भी अगर ये फ़ैल होगा, तो मैं जरूर आप के खिलाफ आवाज उठाऊंगा. बाकी तीन परीक्षकों से मैं पूछूंगा”.
प्रोफेसर साहब ने तब कहा के उन्होंने ज्यादा गुस्से में मुझे धमकी दी थी, उनका मुझे फ़ैल करने का कोई इरादा नहीं था. बात यहीं मिट गई.

परमात्मा कि कृपा, अच्छे गुरुजन और कड़ी मेहनत के कारण मैं अपनी एमडी मेडिसिन कि परीक्षा पहली ही बारी में ही पास हो गया. जब मिठाई लेकर मैं डॉ एसके के पैर छूने पहुंचा, तो उन्होंने मुझे अपनी माँ से भी मिलाया. उस ने अपने बटुए से सौ रुपये निकलकर मुझे दिए ही, पर बहुत प्यार से ढेर सारे आशीर्वाद भी दिए. © डॉ. राजस देशपांडे

अपने स्कूल और कॉलेज के दिनों में मेरे बहुत सारे दोस्त थे, समाज के सारे वर्गों से. विद्यार्थी कभी जाति के बारे में सोचकर दोस्त नहीं बनाते. कॉलेज के दिनों में मेरे डॉ. बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर एसोसिएशन के कार्यकर्ताओं से बहुत अच्छे सम्बन्ध थे, क्योंकि दो बार जब मैं किसी अन्याय के खिलाफ अकेला झगड़ रहा था, कोई साथ नहीं दे रहा था, तब उन्होंने मेरी बहुत मदद कि, उन्ही के कारण मैं अपनी ज़िन्दगी कि दो बड़ी लड़ाइयां जीत सका.

डॉ. बाबासाहेब आंबेडकर के पास दुनिया का सबसे प्रभावशाली अस्त्र था: फाउंटेन पेन. यह भी एक कारण है जो मुझे उनके प्रति बहुत आदर है. किसी और शस्त्र-अस्त्र कि जरूरत ही आदमी को नहीं है! समाज के दो समुदायों के बीच का कोई भी वाद-विवाद कभी भी झगड़ा या हिंसाचार से खतम नहीं हो सकता. एक-दुसरे के प्रति आदर और प्रेम दिल में रखकर साथ चलने से ही हम सारे समाधान खोज सकते हैं.

भाग्यवश, भारत में कोई भी डॉक्टर किसी भी पेशंट के बारे में सोचते हुए जाति-पाती का विचार नहीं करता. जैसे कोर्ट के आँगन में एक जज का अमल सर्वोच्च होता है, वैसे ही भारत के हर मेडिकल कैंपस में इंसानियत ही सर्वोच्च मानी जाति है. ह्रदय हो या खून, दिमाग हो या सांस, ये किसी भी जाति के अलग नहीं होते. बड़े दिमाग कि तरह ही एक बड़ा दिल भी मानव कि उन्नति का एक प्रमुख मानदंड है. © डॉ. राजस देशपांडे

मेरा सपना, मेरी प्रार्थना है कि समाज के विभिन्न घटकों के बीच में विभाजित विचारों के ये काले बादल हमेशा के लिए नष्ट हों. हम सारे एक दुसरे को अपनी जैसा ही केवल एक इंसान समझें, कोई भेदभाव न रहे. विद्यार्थियों में हर दरवाजा खोलने की, हर दीवार तोड़ने की क्षमता होती है, उनसे हमें बहुत उम्मीद है.

किसी भी भेदभाव को न मानते हुए हर पेशंट कि ज़िन्दगी और स्वस्थ्य के लिए दिन रात काम करने वाले वैद्यक समाज में से एक होने का मुझे गर्व है. अपनी प्रैक्टिस से बाहर भी, मेरा ये मानना है के जिस भी भगवान कि मैं पूजा करता हूँ, वही मिझे मिलने वाले हर व्यक्ति में मौजूद हैं.

एक पेशंट के आशीर्वाद का कोई रंग नहीं होता, दुआ कि कोई जाति यही होती. एक डॉक्टर होने के नाते मेरा धर्म, मेरी जाति, और मेरा कर्त्तव्य सारे एक ही है: सिर्फ इन्सानियत.

डॉ. राजस देशपांडे
न्यूरोलॉजिस्ट
रूबी हॉल क्लिनिक पुणे

जरूर शेयर करें.

The Colour Of Blessings

The Colour Of Blessings

© Dr Rajas Deshpande

Carefully calculating the dose and mixing it with the intravenous fluid with precision, I told the kind old lady: “I am starting the medicine drip now. If you feel anything unpleasant, please tell me.”

Through her pain, she smiled in reply. Her son, my lecturer Dr. SK, stood beside us and reassured her too. He had to leave for the OPD, there already was a rush today. “Please take care of her and call me if you feel anything is wrong” he said and left.

Dr. SK’s mom was advised chemotherapy of a cancer. It was quite difficult to calculate its doses and prepare the right concentration for the intravenous drip. Just a month ago, my guide Dr. Pradeep (PY) Muley had taught me how to accurately prepare and administer it, so when Dr. SK’s mom was admitted, he requested me to do it for her too.

The drip started. After a few hours, I noticed that her urine bag needed emptying. The ‘mausi’ supposed to do it was already out for some work. Any resident doctor in India naturally replaces whoever is absent. So I wore gloves, requested a bucket from the nurse, and emptied the urobag into it. Just as I carried the bucket with urine towards the ward bathrooms, Dr. SK returned, and offered to carry it himself, but I told him it was okay and went on to keep the bucket near the bathroom where the ‘mausi’ would later clean it. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

Once the drip was over, Dr. SK invited me for a tea at a small stall outside the campus. He appeared disturbed. He said awkwardly: “Listen, please don’t misunderstand, but when I saw you carrying my mother’s urine in the bucket, I was amazed. You are a Brahmin, right? When you were away, my mom even scolded me why I allowed you to do it, she felt it was embarrassing, as we hail from the Bahujan community. I am myself a leader of our association, as you already know”.

I knew it, to be honest. His was a feared name in most circles.He was a kindly but aggressive leader of their community, but always ready to help anyone from any caste or religion, to stand by anyone oppressed, especially from the poor and discriminated backgrounds.

“I didn’t think of it Sir! She is a patient, besides that she’s your mother, and I am your student, it is my duty to do whatever is necessary. Otherwise too, my parents have always insisted that I never entertain any such differences”. I replied. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

“That’s okay, but I admit my prejudice about you has changed,” he said. “If you ever face any trouble, consider me your elder brother and let me know if I can do anything for you”. What an honest, courageous admission! Unless every Indian who thinks he / she is superior or different than any other Indian actually faces the hateful racist in the West who ill-treats them both as “browns or blacks”, they will never understand the pain of discrimination!

As fate would have it, in a few months, I had an argument with a professor about some posting. The professor then called me and said “So long as I am an examiner, don’t expect to pass your MD exams.”

I was quite worried. My parents were waiting for me to finish PG and finally start life near them, I already had a few months old son, and our financial status wasn’t robust. I could not afford to waste six months. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

I went to Dr. SK. He asked all details. Then he came with me to the threatening professor. He first asked me to apologise to the professor for having argued, which I did. Then he told the professor: “Rajas is my younger brother. Please don’t threaten him ever. Pass him if he deserves, fail him if he performs poor. But don’t fail him if he performs well. I will ask other examiners”.

The professor then told me that he had threatened me “in a fit of rage”, and it was all over.

With the grace of God, good teachers and hard work, I did pass my MD in first attempt. When I went to touch his feet, Dr. SK took me to his mom, who showered her loving blessings upon me once again, and gifted me a Hundred rupee note from her secret pouch. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

Like most other students, I’ve had friends from all social folds at all times in school and colleges. I had excellent relations with the leaders of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar Association, and twice in my life they have jumped in to help me in my fight against injustice when everyone else had refused. I love the most fierce weapon of all that Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar himself carried: the fountain pen!

No amount of fights will ever resolve any problems between any two communities, the only way forward is to respectfully walk together and find solutions. Fortunately, no doctor, even in India, thinks about any patient in the terms of their religion or caste. (© Dr Rajas Deshpande). Just like the Judge in the court premises, humanity is the single supreme authority in any medical premises. Blood or heart, brain or breathing are not exclusive to any religion or community. Just like the bigger brain, a bigger heart is also the sign of evolution.

I so much wish that the black clouds of disharmony between different communities are forever gone. The only hope is that our students can open any doors and break any walls, so long as they do not grow up into egoistic stiffs. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

I am proud to belong to the medical cult of those who never entertain any discrimination. A patient’s blessing has no coloured flags attached! Even outside my profession, I deeply believe that the very God I pray exists in every single human being I meet. If at all anyone asks me, I am happy to say that:

My religion, my caste and my duty as a doctor are all one: Humanity first!

© Dr Rajas Deshpande

Neurologist

Pune

Please Share Unedited

The Proud Indian

 

The Proud Indian
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“I was a man of action. It hurts me inside when I look at myself now” said the huge gentleman.
It was indeed sad to see the state he was in. Parkinson’s disease not only slows the body, but also makes one quite stiff, as if the body is made of some heavy stone. The side effects of levodopa, the most common medicine used in Parkinson’s disease patients, was also causing too many abnormal movements.I told him that some changes were required in his doses, and that I needed his cooperation and patience. He agreed, then I wrote him a new prescription.

“By the way, Doctor, if any of your poor patients needs any help with treatment or medicines, please let me know. I will arrange” he said once I finished with the instructions. Always needy for this cause, I took down his details.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

He came over a month later, happy. This time he donated for an orphanage I often wrote about. I was more than happy, and told him he did not have to pay my fees ever.

“Thank you, Doctor, but you must let me help your poor patients” said Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla.

Over a period of time, I came to know that he donates medicines and free check up kits required for the treatment of young girls from interior adiwasi areas. He spends thousands of rupees every year, since many years, to help run health camps for such children, mostly through the BKL Walawalkar hospital at Dervan in Ratnagiri district.

This time Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla came over, I tried to understand why he is going out of the way to help out children from the interior.

“Because most people are interested in the kind of show-off charity. When you donate to famous organizations in the big cities, your contributions are recognized and published instantly. That is one reason, charity does not often reach where it must: the interior, deprived sections of our country”.
He paused.
“I must say this, doctor, please don’t misunderstand. I feel very bad when someone thinks of me less of a patriot just because I am a Muslim. I have served in Indian police, I have been in the elite VVIP security, I have served India as my own country. It hurts me when some people loose talk that all Muslims should go to Pakistan. India is my country too, I was born and brought up here, studied alongside classmates from many other religions, I have friends in almost every religion. I have served the nation honestly in an extremely responsible position, and am now serving the society by contributing in the most impartial way I can. There are limitations to what I can do as an individual to go on proving my honesty to my country. It hurts when people accuse us without even knowing us. From film stars to cricket players, so many Muslims are making India proud, still some people generalise against us”.

I had no answer. I told him that at least doctors are bred to never entertain that discrimination, that no medical student is fit to become a doctor until he / she can see each patient only as a human life without any other tag. Whether it is policemen or criminals, dirty politicians or reporters who paint our profession in the worst shades, patient from this country or that, from one religion or another: we doctors have only one duty: save life, safeguard health. There is no religion to the happiness of a saved life, nor to the agony of a death. There is no religion to the hand that helps. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I remembered the many Muslim classmates I had through my school and medical college. In fact, I was so close to one in my medical college, that his mother loved me like her own child, and cooked me delicious ‘vegetarian’ dishes whenever I went to their home. Some of my Muslim friends now have their own hospitals treating patients from all religions, especially poor. One of my extremely religious Muslim friends, a super-specialist, treats hundreds of poor patients from all religions: without any discrimination in his treatment or approach.

All of us have been through this, everyone who truly worships God knows love for other human beings. It is very important to pass this “Indianness” on to the future generations, and not fall prey to lesser thoughts, however loud. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Mr. Mulla told me he had had a spinal surgery, during which a surgeon mentioned the charity work at Dervan hospital. “I decided to donate to this hospital at Dervan. This way my hard-earned money reaches where it is most needed” he said. This institute, presently headed by Dr. Suvarna Patil, conducts multiple health-centered activities for children on a charity basis. Many renowned doctors and other professionals from India and abroad participate in their activities.

“Saare Jahan Se Achcha Hindosta Hamara” by the poet Iqbal brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it! I am proud to meet the likes of Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla, who prove by their silent actions who they truly are. I am also proud to belong to the community of doctors, for whom human life is beyond any discrimination.

Jai Hind! Happy Republic Day!
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
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The Angry Husband Pandemic

The Angry Husband Pandemic

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“She can’t tell properly. I will tell” said the husband when I asked the patient what were her complaints. Right from the name, it was him who had answered all the questions for her.

“Does she have a speech problem?” I asked him.

“No” he replied, then the wife started telling her complaints.

The list was typical of stress related complaints: chronic aches and pains, sleep problems, lack of interest, tiredness, giddiness: a picture also frighteningly common among the youth today.

“What do you think is the main reason for your stress?” I asked, after I found that her examination was normal. The husband offered to wait outside, and she said yes.

Once he was out, the lady regained her composure, took in a deep breath, and folded her hands. “Doc, please don’t tell all this to him. I am terrified. My husband is a very angry person, and reacts very aggressively to small mistakes or whatever is against his wish. He was not this angry earlier, but he is under a lot of work pressure himself, so whenever he comes home, I think I have to accept this anger because he has no other place to vent his feelings. Even when he calls, he snaps at the smallest of things, scolds and insults me. On weekends he wants to be left alone and if at all I try to interact he has outbursts of anger. Earlier I thought that this was the beginning phase of his career, so I tolerated. But now my whole life revolves around this fear of his reactions. He treats other women very formally and mannerfully, but treats me like dirt”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

She wasn’t alone. The phenomenon of wife being intimidated by anger of her husband is one of the most common relationship statuses in India. Even when 70 or 80 year old couples visit, the wife usually requests the doctor to advise her life partner of over 50 years to control his anger. Superiority and validity of anger of a man over a woman is so commonly accepted in India, that if some husband treats his wife equal, questions are raised as to his being “man-enough”. Paradox: I know of a wife who told her husband in their terminal fight before divorce: “May be you didn’t know how to handle a woman. Maybe you should have slapped and kicked me and treated me like my father treated my mom. They never had fights, because he knew how to shut her up”.

The implications of applying the Global western culture to an orthodox society are many, and mostly disastrous where human relationships are concerned. While some women proudly boast about the anger and domination of their husbands, and how ‘secure’ they feel about this ‘manliness’ that controls them, only a few realise how far away from true gender equality we all are. Growing up with “Princesses and Damsels in Distress” being rescued by “Knights In Shining Armours”, we have probably conditioned our minds too much to notice whether the Knight treated the Princess well in the “Happily Ever After”.

Let us not even talk about the “he-works-and-earns-so-naturally-tired-and-angry” type, or the “Highly-praises-his-wife-in-public-but-treats-her-like-dirt-at-home” type. The blind acceptance of what earlier generations considered normalcy and words in lieu of actions are both crimes we are all equally guilty of. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Implications of this angry husband? A woman who spends her life never growing up being herself, stays a slave to his whimsical outbursts of love playing a hide-and seek with humiliation and anger. Some do this while working and raising children, while some others do it sacrificing the high education and training they have taken, in the name of making a family.

Making a family also means happiness and freedom of thought, speech and action for a woman, responsibility sharing and respect towards the feelings of each other, but this is yet to dawn in many societies, where the bread winner automatically becomes the master and the remaining family members his slave. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

To be just, one must also mention that there indeed are women counterparts of this phenomenon, where the anger outbursts of a woman hold the entire family for an emotional ransom, where the husband and kids never can feel ‘at home’ in the one where she dwells. But fortunately this is rare.

There also are rare pleasures of meeting some brilliant couples who have mannerful and respectful attitude towards each other (not a show). They hold hands, stay together, and laugh genuinely, whether in public or at home. Those are the definitions of love. An occasional tiff may be unavoidable, but there’s rarely anything that cannot be resolved when the two in a relationship know the correct balance between words and silence. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Sometimes some diplomatic men boast with too many chests about their success and achievements, while mentioning in their speeches how their wife was their strength and how she is an ‘equal partner’ in their success, how they could succeed because ‘she looked after the family and kids’, just looking at the wife’s face tells volumes about the reality. My stupid mind is sometimes tempted to ask “Did she choose that or was her duty taken for granted?”.

As I counselled the couple, I realised that so many times we cannot fight deep rooted socio-cultural notions of gender inequality. In the age of rabid egos where there are more break ups than patch ups, where we know more words than feelings, where winning verbal argument is considered a superior ability to healing actions, it is becoming perpetually difficult to imagine that marital relationships will evolve any further unless immediate steps are taken to educate children right from school about the correct interpretation of gender equality and the incorrectness of what is being accepted as normalcy: “Anger Outbursts” under the pretext of being stressed or busy.

For anger or the presumption that it is justified against one’s life partner as a ‘soul venting’ mechanism are both unhealthy for everyone involved: a disease that has now become a pandemic.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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