Tag Archives: heart

A Fountain Of Youth


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

From college days, a single habit, which I am probably most obsessive about, has saved me from a lot of trouble while facing so many difficult bad phases. Above exercise, I have loved my meditation.

It is indeed emotionally fatiguing to listen to same and new health complaints practically every day of your life, year after year. Add consoling crying and angry, panicked patients and their relatives, frustrated with themselves, with life, and also sometimes with the doctor. Who other than doctors can know the helplessness while receiving and delivering a bad news? To bear all this one needs immense emotional strength, patience and mental stability. Almost every doctor tries to help and soothe the patient. But the more sensitive, deeply thinking doctors bear the brunt of this emotional overload differently: it affects them negatively.

A common advice given to most such “sensitive and emotional” doctors is ‘detach yourself’, do not involve your feelings much, try and just do what is scientifically, professionally correct. How is it possible to squeeze out the pain that reaches your blood? To learn to be able to deal with this, I needed a major effort, and after a lot of suffering and speaking with some evolved medical and spiritual souls, I could devise a mental platform to deal with this. To be able to clean the slate before the next patient walks in is an art that needs dense practice. A doctor who can ignore and detach from pain and its expression cannot be a good doctor, although I understand that not everyone will agree with this. To their credit, I have also seen many dry, non-conversant and short tempered doctors who actually are far more receptive to their patient’s pain.

Vienna has excellently preserved the home of the great Sigmund Freud. His furniture, papers, books, fossil art and even clothes are maintained well. Freud sat for long hours on his high backed chair, looking at the dense greens outside his window, while fathoming the complicated, layered depths of human minds. In his office, there is a glass cabinet displaying his hand written application for financial support towards higher education, requesting grants. If that genius had to seek financial support by applying to far less intellectuals in his time, where do mere mortals like me stand? There were many times when my finances were in doldrums. Most of the hands that help usually usurp far more than their help in future, so I had to also make a long bucket list of what I did not want. However, my fate was as stubborn as myself, and it gave me enough with its blessed hands always.

It is not possible to be a good doctor if one harbours negativity, sadness, anger, depression and especially regrets within oneself. That’s where meditation saved me for years. If I want to think deep at length about something, I visit my rendezvous where I get a secluded corner and unlimited black coffee. As for this daily meditation though, not much is required. I just sit in a quiet place, switch off all gadgets and lock myself away from human reach. Then I just tell myself: I am completely forgiving everyone who hurt me, misbehaved or cheated me, without any conditions. I will not carry any negatives about them in my heart. In fact I do not want their apologies and I don’t care whether they regret what they did or nor, whether they change or not. Even today, I will meet many who will take advantage, speak arrogantly, misbehave or try to show me down, but I will have already forgiven them, ensuring to protect myself and my work. I will not lose my temper today. I will take excess precautions not to hurt anyone with my word or deed. If I do commit a mistake, I will apologise immediately. What people do is not my problem. How I react is indeed my responsibility. So when I finish my day, I come back with no anger, irritability, frustration or chaos in my mind. Things that are most important for me: my patient’s health, my student’s skills and my writing- I will protect them from any disturbances that may dilute their perfection. I want to satisfy my ego in the greatness and success of my work, the intensity and beauty of everything that I do, not by showing anyone else down. I will return today with a clean and fresh mind.

This simple reminder every morning helps me defeat any diversions from internal peace while working in the highly tense hospital atmosphere. This simple meditation takes me only five minutes, and usually my Alta Rica Black makes my meditation deliciously bittersweet. My accompanying picture is during one such meditation, but as censor boards would object, I have filtered the image.

To be able to forgive the whole world is probably the best thing I ever learnt! It is extremely tough and taxing to forgive the near and dear ones who usually top the list of those who hurt you, but it is equally rewarding too. Please do try it, it will make you at least ten years younger.. and if you can master the art of forgiving yourself for all your mistakes too, then probably you will enter the fountain of youth.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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A Doctor’s Sacred Obligation

photo 19-09-16, 22 52 52

A Doctor’s Sacred Obligation

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

As I entered the hospital for my evening OPD, I saw our senior-most cardiologist standing by his plush big car in front of the entrance. A tall, calm and brilliant man with a reputation that many only dream of, he never spoke about himself or his work. It was very unusual, because he was either with patients or walking fast, never still like this.

Curiously, as I wished him, I couldn’t resist asking, “Anything up, Sir?”. He asked me to look at the entrance. A young lady in her twenties was coming out of the hospital, supported by her relatives, smiling and crying at the same time. As she climbed into the car that was waiting for her, she saw the cardiologist and tried to get out again. But Sir asked her to wait, went there, wished her just as her relatives touched his feet one by one, and bid her a goodbye. As they shifted her luggage in the trunk, Sir told me: “That is our 10th heart transplant case. She had come with heart failure that could not be treated, there was no hope for her survival except if she received a new heart. That was a month ago. We performed a heart transplant upon her, with consent for a risk of death on the operating table. I can’t tell you how I feel today, seeing her walk out with a new heart. I am not sure how many people have the ability to grasp this event. It is so much more than a new birth!” © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The patient’s car rolled away slowly, the relatives folded their hands at the sky. Our dear cardiologist looked at the sky once too, sat in his enviable car and drove away with a winner’s smile.

Late that night after OPD, as I waited at the entrance watching the beautiful rain, I felt a certain calm within. Hundreds of specialist and super specialist doctors in India perform super-complicated procedures, surgeries, transplants every day in India. Some bring back most hopeless patients in coma with their sheer medical talent. Thousands of ultra-critical patients walk out of the intensive/ critical care units. Heart, Liver, Kidney transplants are happening every day, almost in all bigger cities. Joint replacements and spinal surgeries have made miraculous changes in the quality of life of millions those who would have otherwise spent last few decades of their life writhing in a bed. Most Neurological conditions can now be effectively treated to improve both lifespan and quality of life. Complicated brain tumors can be removed, aneurysms treated, many cancers cured, and paralysis reversed if treated in time. Physiotherapy makes dramatic changes in mobility of those who couldn’t even stand.

Where is all this happening? Who is doing this? What is their reward?

Most of these expertises, skills were brought to India by the private doctors who went abroad to study on their own. Most of these facilities were made possible in India by the private hospitals because they earned profits. If they didn’t, no one would invest. It is impossible for the government to invest in healthcare to this extent. Even in the rare govt. set-ups where such facilities are available, they came in too late, with many compromises, and only because some doctors there wanted to extend the benefits to the poorest of the poor, and tried hard to convince the health departments for development of such facilities. The government never spends on advanced (out of the country) education of any doctor. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande. Yet, most people imagine that when a doctor goes abroad for any conference, it is to have fun. How cheap and conceited to look down upon the saviors of so many lives!

Our politicians and leaders, media and society have always made ungrateful and derogatory comments about us. Still, the ultimate truth shines bright: that the geniuses in this profession continue to bring highest class of medical care to India, both in private and government hospitals. They do so because of their own drive: to explore, to excel and to bestow health upon millions. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande. Yes, some such doctors earn very well too, most of them earn via clean practice, pay their taxes, and still treat many patients free. However our society has almost made up its mind that a doctor should never become rich. The utopian, hypocritical notion that doctors should only be happy with the satisfaction and blessings of people they treat, without expecting financial remuneration is as laughable as saying that everyone else right from the politicians to artists or the laborers should also be happy with what they do and should not expect any remuneration. Everyone earns for their work, and so should a doctor. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

No one will achieve anything good by merely criticizing the very profession that strives hard to save lives. The psychotic addiction some people have, of speaking ill about doctors is based upon a single reality: they want free / low cost treatment of highest quality. There indeed are a few corrupt doctors, but how fair is it to blame all others who do so much for the society?

Our society indeed needs a new, repaired and loving heart for the great doctors who bring it health and life! This ‘transplant’ is being delayed by the puny shortsighted politicos and media who belittle their own saviors. It is high time that at least the educated and intelligent among the society recognize this.

Till then, we will still try and keep your old heart beating well, for we are doctors, and even if you criticise us, we must only do good to you. That sacred obligation is the nobility of my profession!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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