Tag Archives: Medical School

The Suicide In Our Brain


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

My mom once badly thrashed me up for jumping into a river for swimming (and for many other things I cannot mention here). The sadness of not getting my dream PG seat of surgery nearly killed me. A very brilliant, extremely mischievous and beautiful girlfriend of mine had to marry someone else. Years later, I went through a divorce. During each of these phases, thoughts of suicide crossed my mind like every normal person, several times. During all exams, thoughts of suicide, poetry and a rebellious dropout haunt many. After every suicide, disturbing thoughts of ‘exactly what, how and when’ haunt any sensitive mind.

During my student days, I spent an hour daily in a small space behind our boys hostel to use the double bar, the only facility for exercise. One senior, Sunil, was also a regular visitor, and we became friends. He was repeating a term. He was always smiling, calm and an introvert. Many students made sarcastic fun about his being aloof. Somehow he was nice to me, we usually spoke about stamina building.
One morning I woke up to the shocking news of his suicide. He had hung himself in his hostel room. I had met him only two days prior, and he was as smiling and quiet as ever, had exercised well, spoken in a normal tone, and while leaving had said his customary words of parting “chal bhetu parat” (okay, we’ll meet again)”.

Many theories came forward, and a professor who was always rude to many including Sunil was gossiped a lot about. It was also revealed that Sunil was under treatment for depression since a few years. Some said he was frustrated with his failure and poverty. For a good few months, I did not dare go to that double bar again. I wondered about his parents. How could he have done this? I asked one Dr. Madhu, a psychiatrist who often visited our college from UK. He replied “Well, there is no point in presumptions and allegations. How can one not think about near and dear ones, especially while doing something so drastic with themselves? Suicide is way beyond the grasp of a normal mindset. We must never forget that although immediate causes may act like triggers, usually suicidal thoughts build up over a long period”.
I started reading more about it.

Since then I know of many medicos (and others) who committed suicide for various reasons: failures, stress and negativity, depression, disturbed relationships, blackmail, boredom, harassment etc. I’ve also managed many suicide-attempt cases like burns, hanging, poisoning, drowning or self inflicted wounds. I have followed up with some of these patients for medical issues. It is indeed difficult to deal with some of those cases. To add to the problem, some (not all) anti depressants and other medicines may worsen suicidal tendencies or cause them in a patient who did not have them earlier.

The mental suffering of a genius is beyond the realms of a normal and mediocre mindset. The more extraordinary your mind is, the more it suffers, and only a better brain is able to understand that suffering. One who can feel for others suffers most. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Two other common triggers for suicide- failure and loss- are more manageable. We are so engrossed in marrying our dreams with the rude reality around us, that we create a perpetual high-friction, tense atmosphere in our own mind. Instead, we must learn to unchain our dreams and expectations from the current reality. One can always attempt to change the situation around, but that needs a healthy mind. Unfortunately we do not have gyms made for the mind.

Human brain compels to repeat. We can develop an addiction for anything: negative or positive. The thoughts of futility, ‘having no other options’ can also make home in one’s mind. To be able to catch and prevent this can help some, but not all. Suicidal thought or intention is NOT a mental weakness. No one is any braver for not killing oneself. Suicidal thinking is a state of mind not in control of the owner of that mind, and can be reversed if the right steps (seeing a psychologist) are taken in time. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

The importance we all give to complete acceptance and best success is cruel. Parents today want to grow up only gold-medal champions, who can then never be graceful in their failures, or satisfied with being the second best. Lesser success is no success today. No one achieves all that they want. To be able to accept failure must be taught from school. A different, failure-accepting attitude by parents and society during development of a child’s mindset is desperately required. Tying failure to the feeling of being inadequate and worthless is a common crime we all commit.

That brings us to the last thought of this article: we must learn to never let the behaviour of others affect our joys. The wise will get this immediately: one deliberate hurt is too many, never allow another. Exit the situation, it is not called running away, it is protecting yourself. A Mahatma Gandhi cannot feel comfortable amongst a gang of mafias. That said, if all suicides are investigated well, many others in future can be prevented: white collared and financial criminals, trust-breakers who instigate others for suicide are quite common in our society.

Sometimes it is an internal phenomenon to have suicidal thoughts, some other times a sudden emotional shock or breakdown can provoke such an action. We must take every mention of a suicide seriously, even if the person is smiling or casual while saying it. A change in behavior pattern of a beloved introvert can also be an alarm, one must spend more time with them without being intrusive. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Glamorisation of suicide is an open abuse perpetrated upon our social conscience, worst in India, and should be declared criminal, as this may fatally affect some potential young minds. The mindless repetition of suicidal news has a devastating effect on many stressed minds, and who is not stressed today?

Medicine is a difficult career: long, hard and emotionally fatiguing, with late rewards (rarely financial), and legendarily thankless. Many doctor work on the verge of thoughts about quitting. The concept for vacation, rest or good sleep is not allowed to most doctors. This drives some across the edge. The only way to stop this is that each and every doctor looks after their own stress levels, that they take adequate rest and sleep, find leisure and entertainment, every few days. Socio-federal expectations never end, while our life withers away.

A change in career is a good idea, if you feel frustrated for long. One can always excel in a PG branch once not wanted, one can reappear and pass exams, one will meet better people. Most importantly for medicos, education is not a forever state, and after passing, medicine enables us to practice anywhere we like. Let us not make drastic decisions affected by transient scenarios like bad seniors, frustrating workloads or those recurring breakup’s! © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

If given a chance again, I will choose nothing but to be the Neurologist that I am today. The memories of that thrashing by mom strengthen my resolve to stand up to the unpleasant and stern parenting duties so crucial for the safety of my own children. That divorce liberated me (and her) from many more years of painful discomfort. Life, even without anything that I possess now, is still beautiful. Still, every single thing that I possess today is a dream for many, and adds to the inherent beauty of my life. That deeply roots my faith in the wisdom “Whatever happens is for good“. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

There are many glaring examples of those who turned tables to win over fate, overcame failures, deception, breakups, crises- financial and emotional, defamation, bullying and humiliation. Almost all of them have dealt with suicidal thoughts, some sought right help, and now are living proofs that this is possible only if one lives on.

I feel like whispering to every silently suffering soul out there: Dream, fight, chill, win or lose, but never give anyone the right to take away your charm. That little muscle-machine ticking in your chest right now, the insane neurochemical chatter of your neurons which makes you say ‘I think’, are miracles specifically made for you. That little hand you hold, someone’s moist eyes upon seeing you, and the enormous capacity of your coconut to imagine a beautiful future – are all precious blessings. Let’s not belittle them by asking for something more just to smile once again.
Smile NOW for what you are, smile NOW for what you have!

About that b. em.& b.. girlfriend… well I fondly miss her still, but every time I think of her, I cannot help smiling!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

My Best (And Last) Effort For Indian Healthcare.

My Best (And Last) Effort For Indian Healthcare.
(c) Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Are you fed up of the medical scenario in India?
Neither patients nor doctors are happy.
Society and Government have expectations but no answers to basic questions.

Healthcare must reach everyone, including the poorest, but it cannot be a charity at the cost of the doctor.

Junior doctors, Interns, Medical Students are exploited and harassed by one and all, many have not been paid. They have no voice. Private medicare is on the verge of collapse, gun to its head.

Worst, Doctors are pathetically divided due to various reasons, hence being exploited at all levels.

Are you a doctor, willing to change this? It is possible.

Do you accept the principles of ethical medical practice, with ethical and scientific patient care as the first goal?

Are you willing to give up religious, political, regional and language discrimination and pharma sponsorship, if you can still get the same secure, clean and ethical income?

Are you willing to stand by every other doctor in India, irrespective of their religion, political affiliation, state, city, irrespective of whether they are junior or senior?

Are you willing to fight for your own and our collective dignity, safety, and human rights for all doctors and patients?

Are you willing to care for the poorest of the poor with the same dedication as for the best affording, if there is no exploitation of your skill and time?

This is possible.

We have great expectations from the younger generation whose blood can still boil, who can still roll up their sleeves, and who can dream of a great future where both the doctor and the patient can be smiling.

I am willing to be in the front seat.

Do you want to start a revolution?

Join my facebook page only if you are a doctor and agree to all above.

https://www.facebook.com/UnitedDoctorsAcademyIndia/

Any political/ religious/ discriminatory activity will permanently disqualify.

Only those with medical council registrations should join.

Let Us Work Together For A Great Indian Medical Establishment.

(c) Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Change The Medical Scene, India: Article One. Healthcare Failure In India: Problems And Solutions

1: Etiopathogenesis
(c) Dr. Rajas Deshpande

This is my heartfelt attempt towards initiating a change in the Indian healthcare system. We all, even the government, wants it to improve but nobody seems to know where to start.

I appeal the younger generation of doctors to please think deeply about this article in terms of your future, unless you want to face the same humiliation, insecurity, inhuman attitudes, suppression and threats all your life, just because you are divided. I intend to offend no one, my non-Utopian aim is that every patient as well as every doctor should be happy, healthy and satisfied. There indeed are more good than bad doctors in India, but guess who dominates the scene.

In this series of articles I have tried to first identify the basic problems, and will propose probable answers in my later articles. Before we analyse outsiders, let us first take an honest look at ourselves.

Problems Within Medical Community:

  1. We have many class differences between doctors. This is the most prominent cause of non-unity of doctors. These class differences may be summarised as (a): Intellectual: some doctors are far more intelligent and skilful than others. (b): Cultural: some doctors know the best ways to behave and speak with patients, others have an arrogant, ill-mannered, abusive and sometimes filthy, inviting a bad reputation. (c): Academic/ Clinical: some doctors are trained at extremely good institutes, some put in gigantic self-study efforts, and therefore are academically and / or clinically better even if their medical degree is the same. (d): Financial: some need financial support and critical effort to survive through medical courses, fighting till in their thirties to settle down, while for some others, financially it’s a cakewalk.
  2. Shameful tendency amongst doctors, of discrimination based upon State, Caste, Region, Religion, Academic Institute, City, Financial Status or Political party, generating an “Insider-Outsider” culture. This has also resulted in many hospitals employing doctors from a particular religion or socio-cultural/ financial status even if better candidates are available. Few honourable exceptions.
  3. Jealousy, Insecurity and Envy: There are successful and struggling doctors in every branch. The shameful tendency of some established doctors to suppress and disallow juniors in their institutes is well known. Most wise institutes now employ two or more competing masters in every branch and fire up their egos against each other, to have them fight tooth and nails. Guess who profits and who bleeds. The comic tragedy is that even very brilliant doctors fall prey to such tactics. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
  4. Financial desperation: Juniors who come from poorer backgrounds, in spite of better abilities, have no money to invest, make their own hospitals, and must work at bigger hospitals under such competing seniors, and the only way they are allowed to survive is by getting better numbers. This results in a very hostile, bitter work culture.
  5. Killing Humanity: The entire medical community is guilty of perpetually ignoring, intimidating, suppressing and blackmailing medical students, especially postgraduate resident doctors. India has probably the worst inhuman treatment for its budding and junior doctors, with no one interested in addressing their problems. They live in most pathetic conditions, often six in a single room. They are inhumanly overworked, with a shameless answer “We did it, now you do it” from their seniors. “No food and No sleep” is nothing to be proud of, it is Torture. Post graduate students and resident doctors are not only FORCED to work far beyond human capacity, they are overtasked with mindless curriculums. The “Slaves” in our history were far better off compared to how the resident doctors are treated today in India.
  6. Extremely low quality medical institutes: Guess who owns and runs these, still churning out valid degree holders.
  7. Nepotism: Where “Premium” students, often children of the powerful, politicians, administrators, doctors, socially prominent are treated differently, groomed specially and airlifted to success while others, however meritorious and efficient, are humiliated and suppressed. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
  8. Master-Slave Culture: In every private or Corporate owned hospital, there is an unwritten rule: never cross the Master-Slave boundaries, never ask questions, you are here because we allow you to be. Should you dare to correct someone about policies, ethics, financial irregularities, excess profiteering, you are unceremoniously thrown out, given the title of a rebel, a troublemaker, and your reputation as a doctor is torn beyond redemption. This is the worst for surgeons than physicians, as ‘badmouthing’ / deliberate ill-reputing of a surgeon can ruin their entire career. Unfortunately, it is not only the hospitals, but different classes of doctors mentioned above participate in this mudslinging too. No institute in India has an honest troubleshooting department for doctors. There is no respite, there is no organisation, doctor’s body, government department that protects a doctor thrown out, defamed or harassed by corporates or big hospitals. Very few hospitals are doctor- friendly.
  9. Even in government service, sycophancy is the strictest tradition.
  10. The SP Syndrome: Shoelicking-Postholders are the worst tragedy in healthcare. Even after being qualified doctors, these ‘doctors’ have learnt the quick-ladder culture to sit in a medical administrative chair. They know which side to please, and are seldom seen working in the interest of either the doctors or the profession. They have but one agenda: strengthening their chair-bum glue. They are found almost everywhere in healthcare, and many enjoy the administrative superiority and control over better qualified and even senior doctors. There are rare honourable exceptions who try and balance the hospital and doctor’s sides. However, those involved in policy making are rarely in direct contact with the patients, have rarely had a reputation / experience of good medical practice, and are happy with hypothetical speeches sweetened for their powerful masters. Senior doctors have never stood up for an unfairly fired or colleague, and often our own community disowns a doctor harassed by healthcare giants or government. Thousands of excellent doctors have either left the country or live in dark anonymity just because there was no Godfather for them. This is a major cause of policy failures and pathetic research in Indian healthcare, inspite of having some of the best medical brains upon earth.
  11. The only thing that helps a good doctor is long-term goodwill generated over years, where patients spread a good word about their relief from that doctor. Against this is pitched the permission to hospitals for self-advertising, which often misleads the society.
  12. Once a doctor starts a hospital, there are so many taxes / overheads that he / she must shoulder, so much paperwork, that it is difficult to concentrate upon patients alone. Add innumerable laws, restrictions, rules that make it impossible to sustain over long term. Bribes are a stark reality wherever rules, restrictions are involved. This is why many doctors have closed down smaller hospitals.
  13. While doctors are only allowed to charge their (mostly) limited fees, almost everyone else in the profession earns a lot more profit, often unjust. From rooms, service, nursing, gloves, catheters, to procedures, from canteen to labs to radiology to pharmacy, the hospital and pharmas earn profits everywhere (this is acceptable in proportion of the investment). The one paid least in the final bill is the doctor / surgeon, who usually earns a piddly sum in spite of being the most important factor in the chain. The doctor is also primarily responsible medico-legally for every case. Patients are upset with the doctor even after saving their lives because the bill is fat, not knowing that most doctors have no say in hospital billings. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
  14. The Corruption: There is no denying the fact that some doctors participate in various “unethical” means of earning via “commissions”. While all corruption is wrong, this is an extremely hot and debatable issue, where many questions are unanswered. For example, if a doctor owns a hospital and a lab and a pharmacy, he can profit under all three headings, but if a doctor working with him is also paid from this profit, it is presumed unethical. Our society is too financially biased, and it will never accept the necessity of profits in healthcare. However, the same society or its government has no answers to what a good ethical doctor should do if there are financial emergencies like this pandemic where his / her income is near nil. Hence the doctor is left to ensure his / her own income, with or without patients. Our society will preach doctors a lot of pompous lessons of ethics and compassion, but won’t feed the doctors family if he is in financial trouble due to all the good and free work he does. To completely eliminate “backdoor incomes”, the only way is that the doctor’s fees will shoot up.
  15. Over-smart Attention seekers: This community of doctors will do anything to garner attention. They will make news for being cheapest, they will construct new theories of individual, private research and blabber about them on national / state channels, massage the egos of power, speak against their own colleagues just to get praise from society and media and so much more. They hunt celebrities and powerful to be seen with, always speak the language of “Sweet, Beautiful, Positive” and imply from their wisely framed speech that only they can understand compassion and patient’s feelings while other doctors don’t. These are the usual early birds on TV, who criticise their own professional colleagues whenever there is violence against doctors, preaching about communication, making the society feel that ‘bashing up of junior doctors’ is justified, just because they could not communicate well. They will go to any unscientific extent to fool the public to be in good books of the government and administration, and completely vanish when their profession is suffering. This attention-seeking community has done the worst harm to medicos and the reputation of our noble profession.
  16. Doctor’s Organisations: “………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………” .

To Be Continued
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Please Share Unedited


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
“Sir, we are screwed. The Chief Minister and other ministers have closed all doors, they won’t respond. Our careers are in grave danger. Can you please help us?” I frantically spoke.
From the other end of the phone, the Don, Dr. Nitu Mandke answered: “See me at my home at 12 midnight”.
The Maharashtra state resident doctor’s agitation for dignity, national pay parity and better living conditions was on, and I was given the responsibility of coordinating and being the face. We had successfully established a multilevel network.
When students go on a strike anywhere in any field, it is almost always out of desperation, either for dignity or for rebellion against some sort of suppression by the system. Students never rebel for money or power. This raw student power is almost as mighty as the army, and although it falls prey to political misuse sometimes, it has tremendous capacity towards achieving intellectual evolution of the society. The government always treats any unrest as an offence to its ego, and uses everything at its disposal: CID, Police, Administration, Force, Threats, Caste Politics, Cheating and Legal torture to mow down student agitations. Students have no money, no experience and rare political or social backing, and must unite and stand up for themselves. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

On the fourth day of the strike, a big politico from the ruling alliance came over to our office at Mumbai KEM. There was no telling between him and a mafia goon. The members of student’s central committee: Dr. Sanjay Singh, Dr. Dinesh Kabra, Dr. Narender Sheshadri, Dr. Pramod Giri, Dr. Nilesh Nikam, Dr. Kuldeep, Dr. Vishal Sawant, Dr. Noor, Dr. Shahid, and few others were with me. The politico did not have any scruples using an arrogant, raw and filthy language to threaten that if we do not stop and withdraw the strike, our careers and even life will be in danger. As he was from the ruling party and threatened us in presence of the police, there was nothing we could say.
There are angels everywhere. A senior police officer who was supposed to “keep a constant watch” upon us ‘student leaders’ was quite fatherly. He told us “Do what you must, but don’t declare. Dumb people cannot interpret silence. Stay away from any violence”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Unknown calls kept threats alive. That is when a resident doctor suggested we meet the Don: Dr. Nitu Mandke, the famous heart surgeon who was known to be a fearless, straightforward celebrity doctor.

We went to his home, and waited, hosted by his extremely courteous family. He returned home past midnight. We briefed him the details. He asked a few questions to assess our determination and strength. He asked us to stay united and avoid any misbehaviour during the agitation. To our surprise, he picked up the cellphone and called the Chief Minister’s PA. The CM was fortunately available, and talked to Dr. Mandke. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

After the call, Dr. Mandke told us: “CM has advised us to meet the Deputy CM tomorrow. Two of you come to Lilavati Hospital tomorrow at 2 PM. I will take you to the DyCM.”.
At Lilavati hospital, Dr. Mandke’s chamber was intimidatingly clean and posh, yet simple. He checked our applications for the CM and corrected them with his beautiful pen. His briefcase had every essential of writing stationary, the mark of a perfect man.

As we waited, I asked him cautiously: “Sir, shall we start?” He replied that he was waiting for someone to carry the bag on his table. I offered that I will carry it. He laughed his thunderous laugh, and looked at us as if we were small puppies. “ Deshpandyaa, that bag has two and a half crore rupees cash for construction of my hospital. A professional bodyguard will carry it. People kill for that. Do you want to carry it?”. I shut up.

In his big car, for the 45 minutes that his bodyguard drove us to the DyCM, I asked Dr. Nitu Mandke questions about what was going through his mind when he was actually operating the Shiv Sena Supremo Mr. Balasaheb Thackeray. Such an enormous pressure it must have been!
“Oh yes, it was stressful. But he is a gentleman, and he had assured my safety. His word is enough”.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

That’s when we told him how some politicos had threatened us recently. He laughed and replied something that has been tattooed upon my cortex permanently:
“Rajas, a doctor is a doctor and king of lives forever. Politicos come and go. Idiots misbehave with others when the have any post or power, in any field. You should not budge. It is pathetic to see doctors licking shoes of those in power, under various pretexts. It is up to you to maintain your dignity and pride. That is the true luxury, everyone cannot afford it. So long as you do the right thing, fear nothing. The few crores in that bag is nothing compared to how I feel about myself”.

We entered the VIP zone and bungalow. His car was not stopped anywhere. The DyCM offered us tea, and gave us a patient listening.
“These junior doctors and students are my boys, our own boys, they will look after the health of our people tomorrow. You must help them” Dr. Mandke insisted. The DyCM assured he will. The spell was broken, talks resumed.
Many twists and turns later, one of the most memorable strikes was called off.

A year later, I saw a white Lexus car in our KEM campus at Mumbai. Fond of cars and having never touched a Lexus, I went to see it from a close distance. Just as I tried to touch it, the driver’s window rolled down, and I heard “Deshpandyaa, open the door and come in. Do you like my new car?”
And I sat besides the King of proud men, one of the most proficient Cardiac Surgeons, Dr. Nitu Mandke, in his Lexus. The feeling is unforgettable, not only for the Lexus, but for his simplicity, love and affection for a ‘nobody’, a junior doctor like myself!

Needless to say, then onwards, I have guarded my dignity and pride as a doctor more than any other possession I have. That took away many opportunities and huge finances, still I am doing quite well by God’s grace, and Dr. Mandke’s blessings.
How I feel about myself is more precious than anything I can earn. The luxury of pride is mine.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dedicated to all students, resident doctors, proud people in every field, student unions and their apolitical fearless leaders.
Please share unedited.

“It seems this hospital is distributing death to the patients”

“Aisa Lag Raha Hai Ki Ye Hospital Marijon Ko Maut Baant Raha Hai”

A leading and brilliant Indian TV anchor has framed this sentence. There are over a million deaths all over the world, covid hospitals are burdened up with dead bodies in almost all countries, and the whole medical fraternity is on the frontline, all Indian hospitals have cooperated with whatever demands were made by the government. Still, the news anchor obviously implies that the hospital is ‘handing out’ death in such cases.

It is NOT the doctor’s duty to shift patients and dead bodies, still they are doing this wherever there’s no staff. But if you expect that the docs leave critical patients to die and please the TV cameras, it will never happen, our ethics are supreme.

He didn’t say that:

:Virus is distributing death
:Those responsible for inadequate healthcare are distributing death
Or
:Irresponsible people who don’t follow rules are distributing death

He just blamed the hospital like a Judge.
Media Judge.

We have few questions:
Why didn’t the journalist/ reporter who was shooting this case and crying that the patient didn’t have enough clothes give this patient his own clothes?
Why didn’t he shift the patient to other hospital which had beds?
Did the reporter take written consent from the patient to shoot him naked?
Did the reporter call helpline to attend this patient? What was the government’s response?

And lastly, is this happening only in certain states?

Please stop making TRP business out of dying patients. Why aren’t administrators stopping the interference with healthcare in hospital?

हॉस्पिटल मरीजो को मौत नहीं बांट रहा, कोरोना मौत बांट रहा है, और आप जैसे रिपोर्टर उस मौत का तमाशा बनाकर पैसे कमा रहे हो. सवाल उनसे किजिये जो इन हालात के लिये जिम्मेदार हैं. डॉक्टर और हॉस्पिटल्स अपना अपना काम कर रहे हैं. आदरणीय प्रधानमंत्री की सूचना का आप भी पालन किजीये, और कोरोना योद्धाओं के खिलाफ़ जहर फैलाना बंद किजीये.

(No hospital is distributing deaths, but corona virus is, and people like you are making money by exploiting their deaths for earning money by dramatising everything. If you dare, ask questions to the right people. Doctors and hospitals are working to full capacity to serve patients and the nation. You must first learn to respect the words of Hon’ble PM, and not spread lies against medical frontline warriors.)

Stop your poisonous blah.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

We are suffering, India!


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

After witnessing hundreds of careless, maskless and even purposeless (sitting by roadside) people today, I don’t know how many more weeks it will take for the pandemic to go. The longer it takes, the longer will all of us who work for patients have to use excessive precautions that include an extremely uncomfortable get up. When you use such masks in closed hospital environments, in few hours your head aches, you start feeling suffocated, giddy, hot and tired. You cannot just remove everything and buzz off in two hours like many officials or politicos do after meetings/ TV bytes (many of whom btw don’t even know how to properly use even simple face masks).
I bet no one other than doctors or nurses can wear a proper covid gear for 8-12 hours for days in a row while being among patients. Even to take phone calls, drink a sip of water or have a desperate morsel of food after hours of work is a dangerous circus because this get up comes with a lot of precautions. When this happens because others are irresponsible, it is time to stand up for oneself.
Every doctor, every nurse is suffering this torture every day, since months, thanks to both sides. On one side are those in administration unable to control careless, arrogant, irresponsible people all over the country, and are therefore exerting all their angry pressures upon doctors and hospitals, trying to impress public by ceaselessly speaking against these frontline warriors. On the other side are irate, fearful, frustrated and poor and middle class patients and relatives who vent all their anger upon healthcare workers, because none of the “TV Star” faces claiming to be on their side on TV is actually reachable in real life for them. Have you seen a rich or powerful patient ‘suffering’ in this pandemic?
The ever irresponsible Indian media is also creating a havoc greater than the pandemic by spreading poison against healthcare set-ups, and an entirely new crop of ‘social workers’ looking for loopholes, blackmail material, tiniest mistakes to make viral news/ videos against doctors and hospitals. This is their moment of awaited glory: exploiting a rotten situation. It is surprising that while many doctors / interns and nurses have been served notices and have faced suspensions for speaking out the truth, no action is taken against false information deliberately being spread by either media or those who are making videos in and around hospitals during lockdowns.
We are suffering, India, and the careless, irresponsible attitude of our people is causing many deaths as well as extreme torture to all healthcare workers. Many doctors and nurses have been infected, many have died, and many are on the verge of a breakdown. Some have started thinking about quitting.
We are proud to serve, to risk our lives, for every patient from every religion, every state, rich or poor, but we can not continue to die for stupid, egoistic crowds who do not care if others die even when that is avoidable. That is indirect murder, and everyone irresponsible during this pandemic- not wearing masks, not following social distancing, not obeying healthcare guidelines should be charged with criminal offences.
In the 25 years of my career in this glorious profession, I have seen worst of the worst, including bird flu, swine flu epidemics, natural disasters and thousands of helpless bleeding patients lying around. I have met violent relatives face to face, restarted dead hearts and worked under gunpoint. I have dealt with highest and lowest social cadres of people in society. I’ve met hundreds of brilliant students and insisted that they practice in India. But for the first time ever, this pandemic has created a doubt in my mind about the mindsets and perceptions about doctors in India.
I am not sure if I should advise anyone to live an unprotected life without respect, forced by everyone’s whims and caged by society’s expectations after sacrificing so much to become a doctor. There are so many other ways to show our love for our country. Best way currently appears to be only speaking, sm-posting and shouting about one’s love for their country. You always see rich businessmen and celebrities with highest ministers and those who run various governments, but never the greatest Indian doctors. So we medicos must not be enough patriots to shine with the biggest administrators of our land. That says a lot. We should prefer other ways to show our love for India. There are anyways many non-medicos everywhere who think they can run Indian healthcare very well. Let them handle, they don’t seem to need good doctors or nurses.
Think, my beloved India.
Your Doctors and Nurses are Suffering.
Jai Hind!
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Last Bullet For Indian Private Healthcare


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Many doctors, nurses and other staff, police officers are dying due to corona exposure. Recently the quarantine period of doctors was cancelled. To add to this, very ridiculously, doctors’ salaries were reduced, and covid funds were deducted from even frontline warriors’ salary. This is like taking money from a soldier’s paycheck to fund the army!!

When I recently heard some people shouting about excess bills in hospitals, doctors not working etc., I felt like shouting back too, but one cannot argue with a sold TV screen.

For decades India has had
Excess urban crowding,
Very poor hygiene.
Very high poverty and illiteracy.
Lack of town-planning for slums.
Severe lack of state/ national healthcare infrastructure.
Tiniest budget for healthcare.
Perpetually under-functioning government hospitals. Every season hundreds die due to epidemics.

Where were you till before the pandemic? Who is responsible for all of the above? Do you want to discuss these factors which are responsible for the pandemic chaos today? Or now you just blame it all upon Doctors and Private hospitals?© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Only private doctors with small nursing homes and dispensaries, clinics were shouldering all healthcare needs that government hospitals could not provide. They had low profits and catered to middle and lower class. These were destroyed in last few years because of too many stringent regulations and costly licensing. Many closed down. Legal troubles by relatives, politicos supporting them and vandalising hospitals forced many private doctors to stop admitting patients. Protection to doctors was denied by almost all governments till before this pandemic.

Indian poverty is never ending, and charity cannot run anything perpetually unless there’s a strong fund generating mechanism supporting it. If someone expects that doctors charging 2 rupees fees are the ideal healthcare for all our medical needs, they should happily go to such a doctor. We highly respect them too, but it is their choice and there are obvious limitations to that. To develop advanced healthcare in India, higher profits were necessary for higher investment. Corporates, some businessmen and the likes of Mr. Ambani pitched in. Advanced healthcare with heart and liver transplants, complicated brain surgeries, cancer treatments came to India because of these investors. They accepted all the conditions of governments to accommodate over twenty percent poor, nonpaying patients via various schemes. The payments for running these schemes were delayed by various govts for years, and the hospitals were arm-twisted in still continuing to treat everyone. The only source of profits was private and some insurance patients who were paying a higher fees for facilities: from air-conditioning, food to choice of specialists. Higher quality of staff, especially nursing and technicians who can operate high end machinery and robotics requires very high salaries. Maintenance costs are heavy. A specialist cannot do much without such a very good team. Each of these requires good if not great salaries, as they are continuously invited by developed countries who pay far higher.

But then every patient wants the highest facilities, best staff and specialist team, with no payment or basic payment. There’s no concept of billing beyond actual price of medicines and room charges. Service and maintenance is considered a ‘free right’. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Even in this modern era of equality, a higher class Indian officer like a minister gets a higher room, better food and other facilities, even higher medical bill sanctions, whereas the labourer from his department gets minimum basic facilities and bill eligibility only for general ward. Law allows higher healthcare’s standards and payments for higher officials. Why do they even have classes in railways and airplanes? If a “Gareeb bechara” migrant wants to fly home, should we offer him road transport or compassionate air travel? Why don’t we do for all the poor something that you all expect doctors and hospitals to do?

We don’t mind if basic and emergency healthcare is uniformly cheap or free for everyone. But when you force a high-end medical commodity (skill-time-investment-staff) to be sold at a loss or extremely marginal profit, you kill the system.

Doctors do not differentiate when making a diagnosis or treating anyone from any financial/ power background. But the private hospitals must be allowed to cater to different classes, earning their profits. That is their only stimulus to grow forward, engage best personnel and bring advanced healthcare to India. Different governments have failed at maintaining high standards of healthcare in their respective set-ups (with some proud exceptions- but because that’s where our powerful go). Some hospitals indeed take more bills for better class of services, including staff, but none of them forces a patient to come to them. Even these hospitals never deny free emergency treatment to anyone.

“But isn’t healthcare a charity? Haven’t you taken oaths to serve?” our loudmouth hypocrites ask.

Yes we have taken an oath to serve everyone rich and poor equally, but no, we have not taken any oath to neglect our own health and well being. Yes we have taken an oath to serve, but we have not taken any oath to live in perpetual poverty and financial stress. Yes we are under an oath to do our best for every patient, but we will not be bending backwards to fulfil their unreasonable demands. Yes we want to save every life, even if it is dangerous , but we will not unnecessarily endanger our own life because someone forces us. We haven’t taken an oath to abandon our families. The Hippocratic oath does not ask any doctor to stay hungry, work without sleep, and do the unscientific because various governments cannot pay for adequate number of doctors. Still we are doing all this already. Let us be clear: we proudly and intellectually serve our country, but we refuse to be considered slaves of either the system or the society. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Capping bills in private hospitals will be the last bullet for all advances in healthcare development in India. Be prepared to go back to the chaos of ancient times in that case. Quality will suffer most: right from specialists to nurses to medicines. You can of course force one generation of doctors to work like this, under low cost and excess work. People aren’t fools to send their children to such hells of social slavery. Yes you read that right. There’s a difference between service and slavery. Do not attempt to turn medical service providers into slaves. It will backfire very sourly.

Instead of this, the government can invest in existing private healthcare players to create low cost infrastructure alongside their private hospitals, or privatising its own healthcare institutions with increased capacity. Our governments do have friends in very high places who can invest.

We love India. We are not against any particular government, and this post is not against any leader or party. But we do feel very strongly that healthcare decisions must be made involving everyone concerned, that this people-pleasing for short term will turn out to be a huge disaster in long run, and it will be irreversible. If any government thinks that cancelling hospital permits and doctors’ licences in a country with severe shortage of medical services is the right way forward, God help it.

If private and corporate hospitals start shutting down now, it will be permanent. India will then have to mostly rely upon prayers alone for healthcare. And of course those who think they know medical science more than doctors. India has no dearth of such “fatally self-medicating” ignoramuses.

Jai Hind

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Please share unedited

Suspend All Doctors, Cancel Their Registrations…


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Have you ever spoken with a doctor, a judge, a police, minister or an an IAS officer in their office? Almost every common man has had almost a similar experience: an arrogant air of authority, hidden hints of superiority and a subtle dose of “I know better than you” whenever one tries to argue. Now we know all of the above can be wrong occasionally, at all levels. Of course, there are exceptions in all professions. In a new world which is now shedding away traditional chains of inequality and racist slavery, we Indians are probably the most reluctant to change. In performing one’s duty, no one is superior to those they serve.

A doctor needs to be patient and compassionate with the ill-behaved and arrogant, unlike police, judge or minister who will punish people for such behaviour. Additionally, far before COVID19, there have been fatal infections like MDR Tuberculosis and other viruses which have endangered and even killed doctors. The stress of this daily fear of death is difficult to explain to the idiots who argue “but you yourself chose this profession, nobody forced you, you knew all the time about these risks”.
My dear infinite stupid, yes, I chose this profession willingly, knowing the risks, but to live on and serve, not to willingly and knowingly expose myself to fatal infections. A soldier joins the military ‘to live on and fight and protect the country, not with a wish to die with enemy’s bullets’.
When a citizen tells them from the comfort of a protected home that “You already knew you could die in the army”, it is ingratitude and insult to their profession. We choose to be in this profession because our compassion and courage is higher than our fear, not because we want to die. To be honest, we do not expect many to even grasp this concept. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I have deep respect for some Judges, IAS and police officers who are geniuses, and the first mark of a genius is a humble openness to all logical argument, with parsimony of words and zero presumptions of having a superior knowledge. Even a few minutes with them enhances your life. They are calm and respectful of others. Their language is never “Suspend, Fire, Transfer or Shoot”, because they know what it takes for a genuine person to reach where they are. These geniuses are far above attention seeking, cheap media publicity, arrogant show of authority and blame-mud-slinging to cover their own mistakes, inferiority complexes, and inadequacies.

It takes longest time and a hardest curriculum with hands-on experience of years to make every single doctor. The more specialised a doctor becomes, the rarer it is to replace his experience. Still anyone can commit mistakes.
If a Judge, a police Officer, a Minister, an IAS officer is wrong, does our constitution allow any TDH in media or society to get up and threaten them with suspension? Can you imagine a nagarsewaks / municipal councillor / local politico, goons or even major/ minor officers threatening a judge, IAS officer or a commissioner with cancellation of their rank, licence or degree? Even the courts of law do not suspend anyone or strip them of their hard earned registration without giving them a complete and patient hearing.

Yet almost every TDH in almost every nook and corner in India, from temporarily elected less-schooled representatives to highly educated junior and senior administrative officers often threaten on TV channels that doctors’ registration, licence and degrees will be cancelled. This apparently gives them a sense of pride and accomplishment and also sends a wrong message to a public that these doctors must serve.

In a country where the policy makers have miserably failed for generations to create enough doctors for their population, where we still continue to have that discrepancy, suspending a doctor is like snatching away food from someone already dying of hunger. One doctor gone screws up many patients’ lives. There’s no other profession where generations are taken care of, lifelong, by one person. Yet apparently, some officer’s egos are more important than those patient’s families, health and lives.

Every day there are news of political, social reasons of suspending, threatening doctors. Deny concessions, freebies, shoe-licking, decline to compromise upon scientific principles or accept inhuman conditions for doctors, and almost every officer unleashes their administrative adrenaline pumps against the entire medical profession. Refuse to accept incorrect policies and guidelines that are against patient’s interests, and insubordination leads to losing your jobs. The most shameful and pathetic addition to this “Suspend-Crazy” admin category are some senior doctors who fail to guard the principles and juniors of their own glorious, noble profession. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Like every Judge, Police or IAS officer, even politician, every doctor has also worked very hard to earn their degree and licensing. Every Medical college and University in India is approved by the government. The Medical Council of India has been given the authority and statute to license a medical practitioner upon presenting his / her degree and following principles it has laid down. No one other than the MCI should be able to cancel the licence of a registered medical practitioner. Every case of suspension of a doctor: whether a postgraduate or a senior doctor should be referred to a separate impartial MCI committee. Even the Hon’ble courts of law usually request expert opinion before concluding about medical issues / cases. Yet, our admins and politicians from different states suspend and threaten doctor’s registration cancellation as if it was granted by them or their party or government as a favour. No. We don’t accept that. Every IMA branch in every city must stand by such victimised doctors, protest such injustice, represent the harassed doctor and protect him/ her.

There of-course are doctors who commit mistakes, like Police Officers, IAS officers, Ministers or even some Judges. All of them should be accountable and be brought to the right penalty with the same dignity as others. No one has the right to pretend that a doctor is a slave to their whims, greed and tantrums. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Hon’ble Supreme Court has very clearly stressed the fact that it is very important that doctors should be able to work and make their decisions without stress, insecurity, duress or fear. The article above intends to highlight that same purpose, especially in the light of some recent happenings. Every doctor out there is risking life only to save others, serve the nation. They do have problems, issues and insecurities that need sorting out. Please address their issues scientifically and logically, rather than inhumanly threatening them by suspension and cancellation of licences because you have no resources, funds or answers. Treat your doctors with the same compassion that you expect from them. Or, if you know better, if you want doctors to blindly follow unscientific instructions of admins and whims of politicos why make doctors? Suspend all doctors at once and do it all yourself.

India will definitely be healthier if you listen to the doctors, and don’t threaten or suspend them for trivial reasons.
Jai Hind!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Written with a sad heart that on one hand where the Hon’ble PM has asked people to respect and appreciate the efforts of doctors, nurses and other corona warriors, many are looking for reasons to corner, threaten and suspend them at the drop of a hat, sometimes just for headlines.

Please Share Unedited.

A Superhero Doctor’s Dresscode
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

A Doctor cannot enter home every day and start giving injections to her kids. A policewoman cannot wield a danda/ stick every day upon return, at her family members. A Judge probably cannot say “Order-order” when a child cries at home. We are not supposed to carry our professional mindset and attitude in certain places. Likewise, one cannot expect people from other professions to advise others what is beyond their domain. A doctor will never understand how complicated a politician’s or a policeman’s job is, and vice versa.
A clean and clear mind is essential for every doctor. Even a small mistake in thinking and decision making or actions may cause grievous, even fatal mistakes. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
There are many doctors who have become infected even before the pandemic with diseases like tuberculosis and hepatitis, while trying to save patients.
It is very essential that every doctor, especially junior, learns to ignore what is not a doctor’s domain. The unscientific territories of political thinking and religion or discrimination are not for the doctor, however tempting and patriotic they may be touted to be. Pressures from society and media can ruin the peace of mind so essential to make a good doctor. A doctor who falls in line with sociopolitical expectations to do something unscientific is not only dangerous to the patients, but can never be called a good doctor.
There are those in higher offices, including doctors, who cannot overcome the ‘superior-inferior’ discriminatory mindset and will advise one and all what to do, taking credit for all good and blaming others for all bad in every situation. They take for granted that a military type hierarchy works everywhere. No doubt it is extremely essential in the military, but in medicine we need brainstorming at every step, a student cannot be expected to act on patients if a senior gives a wrong instruction. One must know, challenge, ask, resolve doubt and then act. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Like a Judge in the court who cannot rush an unlawful decision even in an emergency, a Doctor should also only choose what is scientific, even in an emergency. Of course there always should be a sense of time and good. A superhero doc may choose to be a couch potato in his/ her shorts etc. at home, but when on duty, he/ she must don the special dress called pure ethical medical science.
Every Judge who gives a legally correct decision all his life, without being affected by any pressures whatsoever is indeed a superhero. A doctor who takes care of all precautions and helps every patient all the way is indeed a superhero. The heroism lies in defeating the disease and saving every patient one can, NOT in being unscientific and risking lives. Wishing you all decades of success, and millions of saved lives. Always proud of our frontline doctors and nurses!
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Please share unedited

Distance Yourself, Doctors.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dear Indian Doctor,
Congratulations on your bravery to face a pandemic without much support or protection. However it looks like once again a lack of funds and scientific PPE availability will be conveniently translated by one and all into “Doctor Bashing” by sermons on call of duty and other emotional yet unscientific logics. Even some administrators who have exposure to screened few, sitting six feet away from everyone are wearing PPE and N95, while appealing doctors to start opds saying there’s no risk. Should one examine a patient without touching? Do we have seven feet long hands? If we are expected to go within 2-3 feet of the patient, aren’t atleast N95 and gloves essential? But logicless arguments only waste time. Always labelled ‘Money Minded Medics’, now when doctors are sitting home, not minding money, everyone wants them to be in the forefront, appreciated by groups clapping from the safety of their homes. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
But you know what? This has always been, this will always be. Do not expect any major change in social mindset. None of them had merit or patience to study hard for 10-15 years to become a doctor. None of them even knows what sacrifices are required in daily life, family life and personal exposure to fatal conditions on a daily basis. Their tiny grasp is limited to the last visible part: the fees for service. With an exception of honourable few, most cannot understand a medico. Least those who must please and seek attention of majority. And Majority was seldom right as per history. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande. Logic-less mobs are a reality.
Only those among us who shoe lick and toe line will be projected heroes. Most of us are beyond that. It is pathetic that no doctors’ organisations or glamorous bigwigs stood up against some of the major issues concerning fatal risks to our next generations. (DO NOT FORGET THAT).
That’s why writing this: it Is now upto each one of us to fend for ourselves. Stay calm. This is also not a time to argue with administration. Keep concentrating on your own safety while doing the best for every patient. Wear double masks if you don’t have N95. Wear cloth head cap that you can wash. Wear plain spects/ goggles. Use gloves always. If at all you touch patient wash hands thoroughly. Limit examination to necessary. Ask every patient and relative to cover nose and mouth before entering your chamber. If sanitiser is not available use spirit. Leave wallets, purses, bags in your car/ locker. Disinfect your stethoscope, torch and other instruments. Use digital blood pressure machines where possible, if you must auscultate, have the patient turn away face. Change bedsheets and pillow covers frequently. When you leave hospital please wash exposed skin thoroughly. Upon reaching home leave your footwear outside, cover your face and walk straight to the washroom. Change and immediately soak your clothes in detergent plus hot water. Take a thorough wash with preferably hot water, especially washing exposed areas like head. Take your vitamins without fail. Those with high bp and sugars please take rest and leave freely, don’t take your own health for granted. Eat well, stay safe, all of us have to save thousands and thousands for many more decades. Please do not forget that medical practice is far above and beyond one pandemic, covid or not. We must be available to serve all other deserving patients, and for them we must now take the responsibility of our own safety. No one ever stood by doctors’ well being, no one ever will.
Haven’t we always been distanced by the envious, jealous and unscientific? It’s our turn to use that distance and stay away from those. For every patient who deserves us.
All the best.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande