Tag Archives: medicalstudent

The Colour Of Blessings

The Colour Of Blessings

© Dr Rajas Deshpande

Carefully calculating the dose and mixing it with the intravenous fluid with precision, I told the kind old lady: “I am starting the medicine drip now. If you feel anything unpleasant, please tell me.”

Through her pain, she smiled in reply. Her son, my lecturer Dr. SK, stood beside us and reassured her too. He had to leave for the OPD, there already was a rush today. “Please take care of her and call me if you feel anything is wrong” he said and left.

Dr. SK’s mom was advised chemotherapy of a cancer. It was quite difficult to calculate its doses and prepare the right concentration for the intravenous drip. Just a month ago, my guide Dr. Pradeep (PY) Muley had taught me how to accurately prepare and administer it, so when Dr. SK’s mom was admitted, he requested me to do it for her too.

The drip started. After a few hours, I noticed that her urine bag needed emptying. The ‘mausi’ supposed to do it was already out for some work. Any resident doctor in India naturally replaces whoever is absent. So I wore gloves, requested a bucket from the nurse, and emptied the urobag into it. Just as I carried the bucket with urine towards the ward bathrooms, Dr. SK returned, and offered to carry it himself, but I told him it was okay and went on to keep the bucket near the bathroom where the ‘mausi’ would later clean it. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

Once the drip was over, Dr. SK invited me for a tea at a small stall outside the campus. He appeared disturbed. He said awkwardly: “Listen, please don’t misunderstand, but when I saw you carrying my mother’s urine in the bucket, I was amazed. You are a Brahmin, right? When you were away, my mom even scolded me why I allowed you to do it, she felt it was embarrassing, as we hail from the Bahujan community. I am myself a leader of our association, as you already know”.

I knew it, to be honest. His was a feared name in most circles.He was a kindly but aggressive leader of their community, but always ready to help anyone from any caste or religion, to stand by anyone oppressed, especially from the poor and discriminated backgrounds.

“I didn’t think of it Sir! She is a patient, besides that she’s your mother, and I am your student, it is my duty to do whatever is necessary. Otherwise too, my parents have always insisted that I never entertain any such differences”. I replied. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

“That’s okay, but I admit my prejudice about you has changed,” he said. “If you ever face any trouble, consider me your elder brother and let me know if I can do anything for you”. What an honest, courageous admission! Unless every Indian who thinks he / she is superior or different than any other Indian actually faces the hateful racist in the West who ill-treats them both as “browns or blacks”, they will never understand the pain of discrimination!

As fate would have it, in a few months, I had an argument with a professor about some posting. The professor then called me and said “So long as I am an examiner, don’t expect to pass your MD exams.”

I was quite worried. My parents were waiting for me to finish PG and finally start life near them, I already had a few months old son, and our financial status wasn’t robust. I could not afford to waste six months. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

I went to Dr. SK. He asked all details. Then he came with me to the threatening professor. He first asked me to apologise to the professor for having argued, which I did. Then he told the professor: “Rajas is my younger brother. Please don’t threaten him ever. Pass him if he deserves, fail him if he performs poor. But don’t fail him if he performs well. I will ask other examiners”.

The professor then told me that he had threatened me “in a fit of rage”, and it was all over.

With the grace of God, good teachers and hard work, I did pass my MD in first attempt. When I went to touch his feet, Dr. SK took me to his mom, who showered her loving blessings upon me once again, and gifted me a Hundred rupee note from her secret pouch. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

Like most other students, I’ve had friends from all social folds at all times in school and colleges. I had excellent relations with the leaders of Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar Association, and twice in my life they have jumped in to help me in my fight against injustice when everyone else had refused. I love the most fierce weapon of all that Dr. Babasaheb Ambedkar himself carried: the fountain pen!

No amount of fights will ever resolve any problems between any two communities, the only way forward is to respectfully walk together and find solutions. Fortunately, no doctor, even in India, thinks about any patient in the terms of their religion or caste. (© Dr Rajas Deshpande). Just like the Judge in the court premises, humanity is the single supreme authority in any medical premises. Blood or heart, brain or breathing are not exclusive to any religion or community. Just like the bigger brain, a bigger heart is also the sign of evolution.

I so much wish that the black clouds of disharmony between different communities are forever gone. The only hope is that our students can open any doors and break any walls, so long as they do not grow up into egoistic stiffs. © Dr Rajas Deshpande

I am proud to belong to the medical cult of those who never entertain any discrimination. A patient’s blessing has no coloured flags attached! Even outside my profession, I deeply believe that the very God I pray exists in every single human being I meet. If at all anyone asks me, I am happy to say that:

My religion, my caste and my duty as a doctor are all one: Humanity first!

© Dr Rajas Deshpande

Neurologist

Pune

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The Proud Indian

 

The Proud Indian
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“I was a man of action. It hurts me inside when I look at myself now” said the huge gentleman.
It was indeed sad to see the state he was in. Parkinson’s disease not only slows the body, but also makes one quite stiff, as if the body is made of some heavy stone. The side effects of levodopa, the most common medicine used in Parkinson’s disease patients, was also causing too many abnormal movements.I told him that some changes were required in his doses, and that I needed his cooperation and patience. He agreed, then I wrote him a new prescription.

“By the way, Doctor, if any of your poor patients needs any help with treatment or medicines, please let me know. I will arrange” he said once I finished with the instructions. Always needy for this cause, I took down his details.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

He came over a month later, happy. This time he donated for an orphanage I often wrote about. I was more than happy, and told him he did not have to pay my fees ever.

“Thank you, Doctor, but you must let me help your poor patients” said Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla.

Over a period of time, I came to know that he donates medicines and free check up kits required for the treatment of young girls from interior adiwasi areas. He spends thousands of rupees every year, since many years, to help run health camps for such children, mostly through the BKL Walawalkar hospital at Dervan in Ratnagiri district.

This time Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla came over, I tried to understand why he is going out of the way to help out children from the interior.

“Because most people are interested in the kind of show-off charity. When you donate to famous organizations in the big cities, your contributions are recognized and published instantly. That is one reason, charity does not often reach where it must: the interior, deprived sections of our country”.
He paused.
“I must say this, doctor, please don’t misunderstand. I feel very bad when someone thinks of me less of a patriot just because I am a Muslim. I have served in Indian police, I have been in the elite VVIP security, I have served India as my own country. It hurts me when some people loose talk that all Muslims should go to Pakistan. India is my country too, I was born and brought up here, studied alongside classmates from many other religions, I have friends in almost every religion. I have served the nation honestly in an extremely responsible position, and am now serving the society by contributing in the most impartial way I can. There are limitations to what I can do as an individual to go on proving my honesty to my country. It hurts when people accuse us without even knowing us. From film stars to cricket players, so many Muslims are making India proud, still some people generalise against us”.

I had no answer. I told him that at least doctors are bred to never entertain that discrimination, that no medical student is fit to become a doctor until he / she can see each patient only as a human life without any other tag. Whether it is policemen or criminals, dirty politicians or reporters who paint our profession in the worst shades, patient from this country or that, from one religion or another: we doctors have only one duty: save life, safeguard health. There is no religion to the happiness of a saved life, nor to the agony of a death. There is no religion to the hand that helps. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I remembered the many Muslim classmates I had through my school and medical college. In fact, I was so close to one in my medical college, that his mother loved me like her own child, and cooked me delicious ‘vegetarian’ dishes whenever I went to their home. Some of my Muslim friends now have their own hospitals treating patients from all religions, especially poor. One of my extremely religious Muslim friends, a super-specialist, treats hundreds of poor patients from all religions: without any discrimination in his treatment or approach.

All of us have been through this, everyone who truly worships God knows love for other human beings. It is very important to pass this “Indianness” on to the future generations, and not fall prey to lesser thoughts, however loud. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Mr. Mulla told me he had had a spinal surgery, during which a surgeon mentioned the charity work at Dervan hospital. “I decided to donate to this hospital at Dervan. This way my hard-earned money reaches where it is most needed” he said. This institute, presently headed by Dr. Suvarna Patil, conducts multiple health-centered activities for children on a charity basis. Many renowned doctors and other professionals from India and abroad participate in their activities.

“Saare Jahan Se Achcha Hindosta Hamara” by the poet Iqbal brings tears to my eyes every time I hear it! I am proud to meet the likes of Mr. Abdulkadar Mulla, who prove by their silent actions who they truly are. I am also proud to belong to the community of doctors, for whom human life is beyond any discrimination.

Jai Hind! Happy Republic Day!
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
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Advise Doctors What To Do?

 

For the hypocrites who don’t do anything to correct their own profession (almost every profession has immense corruption), but think they have the right to criticise other professions. Criticising the most intellectual profession of doctors irrespective of one’s own credibility, effort, contribution, or even intellect, has become an ugly fashion.
Here’s the answer:
(C) Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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The Silent Murders and Medical Suffocation

The Silent Murders and Medical Suffocation
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“Your grandfather is admitted and serious. Please come at once” my uncle said on the telephone.
I was in the first MBBS. This maternal grandfather was my closest relative after my father. An expert in many languages and philosophies, he was a constant source of love, wisdom and inspiration from my toddler days.

I submitted a leave application and travelled immediately to attend him. Grandpa was admitted in the general ward at the civil hospital Beed in Maharashtra. As the wards were full, he was kept with two other patients in a sort of a broad corridor, and IV antibiotics with saline were being given. He was delirious, but he managed to smile when he saw me. As civil hospitals do not have many medicines, my uncle arranged them from an outside pharmacy.

There was an elderly retired police inspector, Mr. Gaikwad, on the bed next to my Grandpa’s. He had uncontrolled sugar levels, and was slipping in and out of consciousness. His elderly wife was attending him, she was herself a patient of severe arthritis, and could not even get up or walk without excruciating pain. There were no chairs / stools or even mattresses for relatives attending the patients, so we slept on the floor besides our respective patients, upon our own bedsheets. I naturally attended the elderly couple too, I had enough time to attend humans as that was the pre cellphone era. Mrs. Gaikwad told me how her husband had spent his life without ever being corrupt, and said while she was proud that he was so clean, that also meant hardships like the one she faced. “Those who took bribes can afford to go to the private doctors in big cities and keep attendants. Our virtues translated in more hardships, the vocal rewards of words do not ease physical pain, nor pay any bills” she said with tears. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

One night at about 3 AM, while I was deep asleep, I heard a scream and got up startled. Mr. Gaikwad was having a convulsion, and his wife shouted in panic. I ran to call the nurse, but there was only one for the entire ward and she was in the washroom. By the time she came out, the convulsion had stopped. She stopped the insulin drip and called the doctor on duty, who was asleep in the casualty. He came and administered some medicines and went away, exhausted. He was on duty for over three days in a row now, tired and irritable, yet had no option but to go on. I dozed off again. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
In a few minutes, I realized Mrs. Gaikwad was waking me up again, shaking violently, because the IV needle of her husband had come out and he was bleeding. In panic I stood up. There was some water on the floor, and before I realized, I fell face down upon the bare floor. Such was the impact that my upper front tooth broke, and tore through my upper lip. It was bleeding profusely. The nurse had come and inserted another IV line to the patient by then, and the elderly lady felt quite guilty for my injury.

The nurse asked me to go to the casualty. The wardboy there refused at first to wake up the doctor on duty, saying he hadn’t slept for past two nights. However, as the bleeding continued, he took pity and woke up the doctor. Already angry, the casualty doc cleaned and sutured my lip with the available suture material, the correct one was not there. He asked me to get the painkillers and antibiotics from the pharmacy, and to fill up the necessary papers and pay the fees at the window.
With a swollen lip and an aching head, I returned to the ward and slept again. The next day, Grandpa was already feeling better, he could get a bed in a semi-private room, and discharged in two days after that.
Mr. Gaikwad, the elderly retired inspector passed away after two days, obviously a case of far less medical attention and facility. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I carry the scars till date.

Not much has changed in the civil / government run hospitals, even today. Far lesser beds and amenities, a constant lack of medicines and instruments, anarchic uncleanliness, underpaid and understaffed faculty, “sarkari” type procedural delays: overall a third-rate or worse experience in healthcare, with bribes and corruption at almost every level.
What is being projected is opposite though. The whole blame is being planted upon the medical professionals, and all the so-called reforms being made are just tightening of working conditions of the allopathic doctors. We do need reforms in medical malpractice and corruptions, and they are of course welcome, but many more thousand patients die due to apathy and lack of medicines and facilities at the government run hospitals than those who die due to medical malpractice. The number of administrators and government employees who do not attend government hospitals is a proof of the massive healthcare deficit we have everywhere in India. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Ambulances, thousands of more basic and specialty hospitals, more doctors, nurses, support staff in govt. run hospitals, better facilities and medicines are basic social requirements before any other development, advertisements or beautification is planned. However, the whole system appears to be concentrating upon the earning, eligibility and qualifications of existing allopaths.
MCI and IMA must also look into “Compulsory Basic Healthcare Facility and Patient Rights and Care” at all Civil / Govt. hospitals, specifying what the govt. must mandatorily implement in all its set-ups, what are the responsibilities of the administration. The overall (incorrect) notion that “All the problems in Indian Healthcare are because of the greed of Allopathic Doctors” is on the rise because of the “Govt. pleasing policies, comments and attitudes” by some. This will be extremely harmful in the long run. Progress can only be made in healthcare once the medical “Yes-Men” and “Yes-Women” are gone, once the voices that can boldly speak the truth are heard well.

Till then, the private practitioners must stay united in raising their voice against such “unilateral reforms” and defamation, or prepare to be forever suffocated by the system.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
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Homoglobin

Homoglobin

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“How much is your experience, doc? Have you ever seen any cases like this?” she asked. She was accompanying her father who had Parkinson’s Disease, quite common all over the world.

Many hilarious and abrasive retorts came to my mind:

‘Do you ask such questions about the pilot or driver when you board a plane or bus? , Do you ask such questions when someone absolutely inexperienced is made a minister of important portfolios like health, defence, environment etc.?’ If you can have faith in them, why cannot you trust your qualified doctor?© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

However, being on the doctor’s side of the table, I could not allow myself losing patience so easily. I chose the most professional answer, forcing a smile: “I am practicing since 25 years, over 15 as a Neurologist, and I have seen over two lac thirty thousand patients till now. Almost every Neurologist sees an average of 30-40 patients per day”.

When the rural / illiterate populace asks these questions innocently, I am never offended, but if it is the literate suspicious kind who treat manners and etiquette as an ‘optional’ part of communicating with the doctor, I feel just like when someone spills my ice-cream. It is difficult to connect with a paranoid literate, however hard one tries.

Apparently satisfied with my experience, she shot her next google bullet: “Can this happen because of his low Homoglobin? I read it on a blog.”

“The correct term is Hemoglobin”, I told her, “and its low level does not cause Parkinson’s”.

It was over 45 minutes since they entered, I had replied to every point on the question paper that they had prepared from a Googlesearch syllabus. The next patient must be already angry now, I thought.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“How can you be so sure that this is Parkinson’s Disease? What’s the proof?” Fired she.

“There are many diseases where there are no proofs of diagnosis, some can be proven, most are based upon the doctor’s clinical judgement. Sometimes quite costly tests are required to prove what is an obvious diagnosis. You are welcome to obtain a second opinion” I replied.

“Can his Parkinson’s be the side effect of the knee surgery done eight years ago?” She.

“No” me.

I now issued a DNR (Do Not Resuscitate) order for my gasping patience.

Most doctors know the simplified versions of how to explain the patient in layman language about the common diseases/ disorders. Every type of case requires a lot of reading and actual handling / treating to gain insights about that condition, something that is impossible to explain exactly to the patient / relative, especially because they do not know the basic concepts, organs, their functions etc. What even the brilliant medical students take repeated readings and many case studies to understand well, cannot be simplified enough to explain to all and sundry.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Add to this: every patient even with the same diagnosis is different, needs an individualised approach, and no google guidelines or statistics can replace the doctor’s wisdom in making a treatment decision especially in complicated cases. To make the most accurate decision and to explain it is a doctor’s duty, but the understanding quotient of the patient or relative cannot be the doctor’s responsibility. Medicine is so complicated, that even the most experienced doctor in the world cannot say he knows everything about any single medical condition.

The more you attempt to educate some literates, the deeper in a quicksand you enter. Because they are not satisfied with the fact that the doctor is making the best effort to educate, but look upon this as an opportunity to question the knowledge and wisdom of the very expert whose opinion they are there to seek!

They try and catch words and cross question as if it is a legal argument.

“You said swelling: show me where is the swelling?” most common question.

“Well, it is called Inflammation in medical language, there is no accurate translation for that word even in Hindi, hence we commonly use the word swelling. It may not be a visible swelling”.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

It is not always the fault of doctor’s ability to communicate, it is often the over-expectation that one can understand everything. It is laughable that even those some whose life is a mess, who are failures in their own chosen paths try and argue about medical diagnosis and decisions with highly qualified doctors.

However profound a doctor I may think I am, there are so many things I do not understand: politics, finances, many people’s behaviour, mathematics, government, etc., and I am ok without ith not understanding most. However I do not have the audacity to ask an expert in these fields / professor / CA whether he / she has enough experience.

But with a doctor, these liberties are becoming rampant now.

“I think he has convulsions because of his spondylosis” one halfpant+crocs combo tried to punch a new hole in my knowledge recently.

“Let me decide that” was all I replied, rather than explaining how he was beyond wrong.

The shorter you keep it, the sweeter it remains. I would rather save and use my time for those worried, panicked patients who have enough faith in my abilities, who understand mutual respect, and who will have at least this insight: that the doctor knows best how to treat patients.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Of course I am aware that there are some doctors too, who initiate rude conversations, do not respect simple etiquettes, and are quite difficult to connect to. Most patients even when offended by rude doctors, kindly choose not to react although they carry home a bitter feeling. Every medical student, every doctor must be taught in the earliest parts of internship about the code of etiquette and mutual respect while dealing with any patient, and only then expect the patient to follow it too.

Coming back to this lady, I wrapped up the session by telling them to follow up after a month.

“Can he continue to take his three large pegs of rum every night? He cannot sleep otherwise” she asked.

“In my 25 years of practice, I haven’t met anyone whose health improved with alcohol. Do please google that.” I gave her the dose she had begged for.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

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“Eureka”

photo-09-09-16-12-12-22© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Half day OPD today. Diwali morning. Busy busy rush.

Push ups. Weights. 30 minutes on treadmill at 7 Kmph. Feel the rushing blood. Check out a muscle or two in the bedroom mirror. Count the packs in certain position. Feel the pride of this sweat too.

For some curious reason, take your smartphone to the shower. Not only because you are a doctor, but plain simple addiction. The idiotic fear that the world will stop functioning without your supervision. It doesn’t. Or does it?

Enter the steamy hot shower feeling like a superman. Start philosophical excursions in your mind finding simplest solutions to everything. Under shower meditation is the supreme spiritual ritual of the day. Not because ‘the world cannot see your tears’, but because the world is altogether absent here in the shower.

This new shampoo is great, just takes some more time. Wait.

The phone rings. I will not pick up. I will just see who it is.

Oh my God!

It’s that Professor of mine, known for never calling anyone, never socialising, and in general being a “limited edition”, generally sarcastic. If I do not pick up his call, he won’t call again, and probably will never pick up my call again. Doctors have bombastic egos, the senior the more. He is over 80 now, and still studies a lot. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Pick up the phone. (Thank you Apple for making it waterproof). Come out in the bedroom dripping.

“Good Morning Sir!”

“It’s nearly afternoon, Rajas. Good afternoon! Do you have internet access right now?” Prof.

I am always proudly connected.

“Yes Sir”.

“Okay. You had referred a patient to me. It’s about him” he told me the name.

Yes. I had referred him a case I had doubts about. Things were quite odd, I had never seen a neurological condition like that. I just hope it is not something I missed, otherwise Prof. will skin me alive on phone!

“I examined him. I presented him to our Neurological society, and we concluded that this is pretty rare. There are only two such cases diagnosed with such findings till now. One is in 2004, and the other in 2012. Open your net browser, I will tell you the references”.

Wipe hands dry. Open the net. Check the references. “Yes, Sir!”

“He is going to need some more tests to confirm this condition. He cannot afford. I have written a letter for him to show to his employer, they may sponsor. Or we should look into charity. He will come to you, send me all the reports. Then maybe we will report this”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“Yes, Sir”.

“Okay. Bye”.

Thank God there was no skinning! I must complete reading the reference right now! Done.

Standing there, dripping all over, I realised how much I enjoyed the “Fun” in learning, What a feeling! Eureka!

That whole day, my spiky hair may have offended many who met me, and I had no explanation. Most patients graciously forgive their doctors’ weird appearances, sentences and even some spurts of absent minded stupidity, the senior the more.

Once this very Professor was to be the internal examiner for my senior batch, and I was supposed to present him cases to be selected for the final DM Neurology exams. Terror reigned. Our best case was a Huntington’s Disease patient, and I had studied day and night the whole prior week about that and other cases. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

He sat in the ward side room.

Trembling, I called in the patient. The patient walked in about four steps till the examination bed, and sat upon it. It was less than ten seconds that the patient was in the room.

Just before I opened my mouth, Professor said plainly “Huntington’s is too short a case for DM. Keep him in reserve. Get the next case”. I felt like being shot before even entering the battlefield!

This professor was my examiner too, for my DM final exams. His genius was scary, his comments deadly. Just as I came out after the final viva, I received a money order sent by mom. As I stood counting the money outside the exam ward, this Professor came out. Looking at me counting the money, he smiled big. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“Already planning a party haan?” he kept his hand upon my shoulder.

Frightened, I explained that it was just a regular money order from home.

“You will need extra money this time” he said and walked away.

My heart turned into a boombox.

My palpitations stopped only when someone told me after two hours that I had topped the exams. The whole world paused in my mind to salute three years of extreme hard work, the run of umpteen sacrifices: that of youth, food, sleep, life, enjoyment, relationships, and everything that is “normal human need”.

Of all the qualities that make a genuine doctor, the Nerdiness is probably the most undervalued one. What a doctor appears to speak or write or decide on the spur of the moment is actually the product of years of study, research and hard work, with umpteen experiences that add to the thinking process. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

It is this same Nerdiness that saves many a doctors from the depression and other mental stresses that their life offers on a daily basis. I love reading my subject at least two hours every night, and I know many doctors who are “lost” in the quest of knowing more and more. All the humanity, compassion, social service, charity, respect and earnings on one side, it is sometimes only this “thirst of knowledge” that makes us forget the umpteen festivals, celebrations and other happy things of life we keep on missing.

Like the soldiers on the border, thousands of doctors spend their Diwalis and Christmases and Eids and Baisakhis in hospitals, tending to the care of the sick and suffering, drinking the poisons of allegations and anger. One sure-shot medicine for this is studying.

For their Festival of Lights is in the service of the suffering, and their celebration is saving life. The fire comes from their quest for knowledge. They burn colourfully to make others smile again!

Happy Diwali to all the Patients, Doctors, Medical Students, Nurses, Paramedical staff, Pharmacists, Medical Representatives, Technicians, Wardboys, Reception and other staff, Mamas, Mausis, Security staff and all those who are connected to the healthcare industry!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande