Tag Archives: Philosophy

Victim Versus Victim

Victim Versus Victim

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

He walked in my chamber, trembling and sweating. A typical engineer, cute, nerdy and cultured, he lacked the usual poise, calm and charm that accompanies the true intellectual. Something was wrong.

“Are you ok? Do you need a glass of water?” I asked him, while glancing at the vitals that the nurse had recorded- his blood pressure was high but not in the dangerous range. His breathing was heavy, and his eyes red.

“No, Doctor, I… I .. my head..” he wasn’t able to finish his sentence. I let him relax for a few moments. Taking a deep breath in, he started: “Doc, I haven’t slept in fifteen days. My head is exploding. I feel like I will die. We did a heart check up yesterday as I had palpitations, but the cardio told me everything was normal”.

I examined him, there were no neurological findings except the extreme anxiety he was trembling with. Sometimes the mind is so troubled, it actually causes the body to manifest its suffering- causing giddiness, trembling, headaches, lack of sleep, sometimes even fatal conditions! Stress is indeed a major killer.

“Is someone with you? Are you under some stress? Where’s your family?” I asked, and he started to shake.
“I want to tell you something confidential, doc” he said, and told me one of the most horrific yet increasingly frequent stories of our times.

He is 34, married, and has a six-year-old child. His wife works too, but in a different company. He spilled out what was hijacking his mind:
“Fifteen days ago, on a weekend, my wife dozed off on the sofa besides me. Her cellphone was in the kitchen, and when I went to get a snack, a whatsapp notification appeared on her locked screen, it said ‘I love you too, can’t wait to see you. Wear white, you look beautiful ..”. The sender appeared to be a female name, but I was curious. I had complete trust in my wife and we had a very good life together. I woke up my wife and asked her to open that message, asking for details. She refused. I got very angry as she was trying to hide something. I told her that I was planning to call her father and discuss the issue. Then she told me the truth”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

“She had met one of her classmates in one of those ten year class reunions which have sprouted everywhere now. He started praising her, messaging her, and she said that she had fallen in love with him. She did apologise to me. I was devastated and wanted to run away, kill myself, because I had loved my wife dearly. The only reason why I did not do anything serious was our son, who is attached to both of us.”

“After a lot of thinking I decided to forgive my wife. I told her that I was ready to start again, but she had to completely stop seeing her classmate. I also requested her that I want to meet him once. We went to meet him. He is married too, has two kids, but his wife is not aware about all this. He bluntly refused to stop seeing my wife. He and my wife together told me that they cannot stop seeing each other, and that if I create any problems, my wife will approach various associations and police and tell them that I am abusing, harassing and being violent to her. You know what happens, doc, how law can be misused, how things can be twisted to make someone a villain. I am from a very cultured, educated family, we are scared of fights and legal matters, police cases etc.”

“When we returned home, my wife told me not to worry, and that if I did not interfere with their relations, I could also have the same relation with her as earlier. Now I hate her, I do not want to see her, but the thought of what will happen to our son and his future is killing me. I cannot eat, sleep or even think normally. I had severe headache since a few days, and today I vomited. My friend gave me your number, so I am here”.

Whenever someone is fasting for long, or for any reason dehydrated, the headache that follows could be extremely dangerous. We obtained an emergency scan of his brain and found that he was already developing clots in his veins, a condition that could have killed him if not treated in time. He was admitted and treated. His wife did come and attend him. He improved and was discharged in two days. I arranged for a counsellor for them, and now they are both undergoing counselling. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Besides the facts that I should never judge someone as a doctor, and that I am not a counsellor, I was appalled at the audacious threats (and in some cases a reality) misuse of police, legal machinery and socio-political forces under various disguises to corner and target someone. Recently a big retired police officer has commented “Show me a person, anyone, and we can show you his crimes”. The selective victimization of whoever one wants to target, while playing victim oneself, is the new name of the game: Victim Versus Victim with blurred definitions is the new world we are welcoming, thanks to the umpteen legal and social immaturities.

From gender to religion, from intellectual to financial achievements, anyone can now be blamed by anyone else, claiming to be a victim after using the system to get what one would never have achieved without that very system in place. In short, we are living in a world where a thief can enter your home, kill your dear ones, steal your belongings and if you catch and punish them, can play a victim card based upon anything from gender to caste, religion, nationality or political affiliation. This certainly cannot be called evolution, as survival of the most vicious villain will never favor human race.

Meanwhile we doctors will try and maintain our sanity to be neutral and treat everyone for their best health.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Please share unedited

Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?

Who Won Over The Pandemic In India?
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

As the covid situation improves, now begins the race for looting the credit and masking, twisting the reality. There’s a lot yet to happen, we hope there’s no second peak, the situation is best described as unpredictable at present.
It will be conveniently forgotten that hundreds of doctors, policemen, labourers, many covid warriors like nurses, hospital support staff, ambulance drivers, and government officials died to save millions of Indians. It will be downplayed that hospitals and staff therein were pushed to inhuman tasks for over eight months, some without payment. It will be never recorded that many PG students died due to unfair and unsafe postings during this pandemic, thousands worked without payment for months. It will also be conveniently forgotten that private hospitals- usually treated by society and politicians as “money minded looters” – were the only existing mechanism that could save our country from a much larger death toll.
The reality is that millions of patients went home because our private hospitals, doctors, nurses treated them day and night, without caring for their own family.

It will be comfortably masked that many government healthcare facilities were a failure, that enough manpower could not be found to man jumbo centers, that we lacked any other government machinery to provide healthcare in such a situation except arm-twisting and exploiting private practitioners and hospitals. Let us never commit the mistake of presuming that such a pandemic will be a one-time rare event as some evil countries now know what biowarfare can lead to. While electoral speeches will claim “Success” in defeating covid, the truth remains: that COVID has exposed us, our poor preparedness and arbitrary actions often without estimations of how they will affect millions of poverty-ridden illiterates. While sloganeering and declarations of “Thousands of crores” will be announced for people during elections, no one will question why we have not built any more hospitals, why we are not recruiting more qualified doctors in government set-ups, and why doctors find it impossible to work at govt-run hospitals. The sad stories of big netas getting admitted in biggest private hospitals and getting best of healthcare while the poor people on the street kept dying because they could not find ambulance, ICU, hospital or even family members to support will never be forgotten. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
We will never know who and why was given “Fast-track” certification for the emergency production and sale of huge quantum of PPE kits, masks, gloves, sanitisers, medicines (which were later declared questionable), tests for covid etc. Enormous profits were extracted even from doctors treating covid patients (because we all have paid huge amounts in last ten months for the safety gears, sanitisers etc.). We will never know how many thousand crores were earned by those who sold “immunity boosters” without a FDA validated scientific proof, taking advantage of illiteracy, ignorance and superstition in our country. The profits earned by one and all by the sale of these pandemic-essentials will remain hidden, and the bashing of private hospitals for overcharging will continue.

Let’s get the facts right: the private healthcare has sacrificed bigtime in this pandemic to save the life of millions. The credit of saving our beloved nation from a far more devastating outcome goes to these private hospitals, doctors at both private and government hospitals, postgraduate students, many brave, daredevil police officers, administrators like collector / commissioners, other grassroot covid warriors. Most declared policies were either ineffective or redundant. The courts in some states and even the Supreme court had to intervene and correct some wrong decisions, which itself saved many and eased the life of many more, we will be grateful to the Judges who took the best possible view of a blurred scenario. I must humbly thank certain political leaders, chief ministers of few states and others in the government for their individual hard work and involvement in this fight.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Yet, as our great nation India recovers, there will be proud chest-thumping by some leaders about “I / We defeated Covid Virus”. No. We doctors are a scientific community unblinded by bias. We know that Covid has unmasked the glaring, shameful shortcomings in our system. Covid has shown us our misplaced priorities. Covid has exposed the hollow claims of us being a developed, civil society. The number of maskless literates even during the peak of this pandemic is a proof of how backward we are as a community. India has almost no respectable medical research, we have a shameful federal healthcare infrastructure, we are considering non-doctors as teachers in medical colleges already sinking in quality, we have to rely upon quacks for healthcare delivery to the poorest and the rural, and yet the headlines of us donating nearly two million N95masks, HCQS to other countries gives us a feeling of pride, and we sing songs of a glorified glory.

The entire credit of pulling the country through this pandemic goes to every grassroot warrior, junior doctor, other doctor, nurse, private hospital, administrator, police. officer, and donors of multiple crores who sacrificed their life, family, or lifetime earnings for India.
Let no one befool you to believe otherwise.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dedicated to the real COVID warriors.

Please share unedited

The Most Dangerous Indian Cancer

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Being invisible, the ability to see others without them seeing you, combined with the inexplicable curiosity about the private businesses of others (for which Indians are world-infamous) makes this an irresistible hobby. Manners and etiquette are the last attributes for which we Indians are credited anywhere, so people think it’s like our birthright to be rude, reckless, abusive and judgemental to others.

Earlier when you criticised others, people questioned your own achievements, showed your own ridiculous stupid past, and what was most feared: often proved that you are a do-nothing hypocrite idiot who likes to relish in being critical and disrespectful of others. People could show everyone what a joke your own life was, how illogical, unreasonable and irrelevant a liar you could be. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Invisibility gave all such idiots a protection. The ability to hide behind a fake social media identity and troll others as a group, mob, media, political outfit or – most dangerously- a system which has access to the private information about almost everyone- has now become the worst social cancer that India has ever faced. This is far more dangerous, ugly, vicious and destructive than religious divides (people now know that’s a politically cultivated poison), class divides or any other social disease that has disturbed human fabric especially in India.

Trolling is a deadly disease fast destroying everyone almost everywhere, but worst in India. The reason- it has support from the highest of people who have the ability and authority to stop it but won’t. The courts and the law enforcement agencies don’t seem to have noticed the cruel havoc this is already causing everywhere. A suo-moto intervention to criminalise all fake identities and trolls doesn’t appear uncalled for.

Shall we just accept this trolling cancer as a reality of our times that comes as a side effect of social media supported freedom of speech? © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Does a coward who hides his / her own identity have that protected freedom of speech? Is it freedom of speech to abuse and denigrate one and all, especially the rich, famous and the respected, to use language that inflicts worse injuries than physical wounds? Is it freedom of speech to threaten murders and rapes, to threaten violence and exposing someone just because they refuse to fall into your traps of expectation and exploitation?

It can NEVER be Indian culture to threaten women with rapes and murders on social media. Which religion, which culture anywhere in the world accepts such treatment of women and kids? Where are the various Indian guardians of regional supremacy, language, culture, clothing, food, festivals etc. when the women and children are abused openly on social media in their land?

Trollers in India reached a new low by threatening a young child of a renowned sportsman recently, and the very country whose who’s who are blabbering about “Beti Bachao” appear all silent. Isn’t it a crime to threaten a child on social media anymore?

Is merely deleting those comments sufficient, is it not required to identify, shame and punish such inhuman trollers?

The idea of being able to express one’s opinion in situations like dictatorships where revealing identity could be fatal is alluring. That’s probably why freedom of speech is protected by many social media platforms. However we now know that many of these social media platforms aren’t the innocent soldiers of an individual’s rights of speech and expression, but (probably sold out) manipulators working for political, international forces which pay them well- or worse- want to spread racist hatred between classes and harbour a supremacy theory, to flaunt numbers, spy upon people and even incite mobs to loot and kill. Many leaders, businessmen, artists, actors etc. have been completely destroyed by such trolling, elections swayed in favour of some, and we boast of an illiterate populace hooked upon free internet as our national pride!

How else do we explain the incessant flow of extreme abuse which has now become a source of income and entertainment? How else do we accept that law, national and international, has kept an option of anyone to open a fake social media account?

This cancer, a “Growth” of wrong practices in the body of every nation, is destroying precious bonds between humans: because everyone has an unseen private life, not essentially criminal, but open for trolling once exposed, and one who owns most trollers will be the King! Unemployment demands increasingly crass entertainment, and the ‘kings’ know this well.

We appeal to the Supreme Court of India to please declare all fake social media accounts illegal, and bring to books the trollers who use lies, abuses and threats online.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Orphaned Doctor, Change and Future

Orphaned Doctor, Change and Future

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

For two decades, I have taught medical batches one highest principle in medicine: To go out of your way to earn the patient’s confidence and trust, make the patient comfortable, understand their anger and frustration, and to never lose temper with a patient. Unfortunately, Covid 19 has started to change some of that. Because some patients and relatives do not listen. They do not care if they endanger other people’s life. They have no concept of importance of time and avoidance of “medical gossip”.

We must now treat everyone a potentially infectious source and take adequate care. Longer the exposure to a potential case, higher the chance of infection. That creates a new covid19 complication in our medical practice: dealing with the adamant, the slow, the repeating and the illogical. The days of personally explaining everything logically and patiently seem to be over, at least till the pandemic lasts, as extra time now means that much prolonged exposure. We should now record history with direct questions, examine and diagnose the patient, handover the list of tests if required and a prescription, and arrange for a telemedicine follow up of limited time to explain and discuss. In confirmed diagnoses, we can give the list of authentic websites which patient can read from and get their answers. That will eliminate a lot of unnecessary discussion and “unlimited questions because I paid for this consult”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

To risk his / her own life can be a doctor’s choice, but I don’t think any doctor has the right to risk the lives of his / her own children, spouse and parents. I don’t think it is right for the doctor to ignore his responsibilities towards his children, spouse and parents because he has to serve others outside family.

No doctor can endanger other innocent patients and hospital staff by exposing them to adamant, careless patients who refuse to wear masks in waiting rooms. A doctor cannot have time to go out and fight, especially with our politically powered criminals. The only way-out seems to be politely refusing to see the patient who does not follow basic mask etiquette. What is the point of explaining to a patient or a relative who wears a mask on their neck, leaving the nose and mouth open?

Many a times the doctor can diagnose and prescribe for common ailments within minutes, but it is customary to listen to the patient, to pacify their anxiety, to explain in detail and address many a fears born of google searches. The more difficult a medical condition, the more frustrating it is to explain it to patients. In every branch of medicine, there indeed are many extremely complicated medical conditions, situations which the most brilliant doctors also must make efforts to grasp.

It took me 3 years of specialty education after completing DM Neurology to understand Multiple Sclerosis or Parkinson’s Disease well enough to treat it, and even after 25 years of practice, neither me nor any of my teachers- some topmost authorities in the world- who spent their life studying these conditions can claim to have understood them fully. There are far more complicated conditions of the brain we must still keep on studying. How can these be explained to everyone from every background in few minutes?

While the medical treatment is the same for the intellectually challenged and endowed, the former takes the cake here because they stop once they trust their doctor, the later rarely can. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

The Indian Doctor has been long orphaned by all. The pandemic has revealed the cruelty with which doctors are being exploited all over the country: especially the UG and PG students, interns and junior doctors. It is high time that every doctor takes charge of his / her own career, come out of exploiting contracts and services, even go to the courts if necessary, to be relieved of injustice, and start a good clean practice. That way at least one can serve many more patients, earn peace, satisfaction and funds, while also fulfilling the responsibility to safely look after one’s family. Resident doctors should seriously consider a national level petition to the courts of law about the various unfair practices being enforced at present.

We cannot change the clumsy, clueless, perpetually failing yet adamant mismanagers of the situation who unfortunately hold the reigns.

I’ve worked with orphans. They are most self-sufficient, beautiful souls who learn how to survive independently in a big bad world. I have learnt a lot from them, but the best thing they taught me was to not be affected by the false sympathy, artificial display of love, sweet talkers with black agendas and mean exploiters. They taught me that just holding hands without words at difficult times is far more meaningful than any huge boxes of chocolates, gifts, and to wit: thali, diya etc..

The key to wisdom is in silence. Doctors should silently change now.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Please Share Unedited.

#covid19, #pandemic, #India

The Suicide In Our Brain


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

My mom once badly thrashed me up for jumping into a river for swimming (and for many other things I cannot mention here). The sadness of not getting my dream PG seat of surgery nearly killed me. A very brilliant, extremely mischievous and beautiful girlfriend of mine had to marry someone else. Years later, I went through a divorce. During each of these phases, thoughts of suicide crossed my mind like every normal person, several times. During all exams, thoughts of suicide, poetry and a rebellious dropout haunt many. After every suicide, disturbing thoughts of ‘exactly what, how and when’ haunt any sensitive mind.

During my student days, I spent an hour daily in a small space behind our boys hostel to use the double bar, the only facility for exercise. One senior, Sunil, was also a regular visitor, and we became friends. He was repeating a term. He was always smiling, calm and an introvert. Many students made sarcastic fun about his being aloof. Somehow he was nice to me, we usually spoke about stamina building.
One morning I woke up to the shocking news of his suicide. He had hung himself in his hostel room. I had met him only two days prior, and he was as smiling and quiet as ever, had exercised well, spoken in a normal tone, and while leaving had said his customary words of parting “chal bhetu parat” (okay, we’ll meet again)”.

Many theories came forward, and a professor who was always rude to many including Sunil was gossiped a lot about. It was also revealed that Sunil was under treatment for depression since a few years. Some said he was frustrated with his failure and poverty. For a good few months, I did not dare go to that double bar again. I wondered about his parents. How could he have done this? I asked one Dr. Madhu, a psychiatrist who often visited our college from UK. He replied “Well, there is no point in presumptions and allegations. How can one not think about near and dear ones, especially while doing something so drastic with themselves? Suicide is way beyond the grasp of a normal mindset. We must never forget that although immediate causes may act like triggers, usually suicidal thoughts build up over a long period”.
I started reading more about it.

Since then I know of many medicos (and others) who committed suicide for various reasons: failures, stress and negativity, depression, disturbed relationships, blackmail, boredom, harassment etc. I’ve also managed many suicide-attempt cases like burns, hanging, poisoning, drowning or self inflicted wounds. I have followed up with some of these patients for medical issues. It is indeed difficult to deal with some of those cases. To add to the problem, some (not all) anti depressants and other medicines may worsen suicidal tendencies or cause them in a patient who did not have them earlier.

The mental suffering of a genius is beyond the realms of a normal and mediocre mindset. The more extraordinary your mind is, the more it suffers, and only a better brain is able to understand that suffering. One who can feel for others suffers most. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Two other common triggers for suicide- failure and loss- are more manageable. We are so engrossed in marrying our dreams with the rude reality around us, that we create a perpetual high-friction, tense atmosphere in our own mind. Instead, we must learn to unchain our dreams and expectations from the current reality. One can always attempt to change the situation around, but that needs a healthy mind. Unfortunately we do not have gyms made for the mind.

Human brain compels to repeat. We can develop an addiction for anything: negative or positive. The thoughts of futility, ‘having no other options’ can also make home in one’s mind. To be able to catch and prevent this can help some, but not all. Suicidal thought or intention is NOT a mental weakness. No one is any braver for not killing oneself. Suicidal thinking is a state of mind not in control of the owner of that mind, and can be reversed if the right steps (seeing a psychologist) are taken in time. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

The importance we all give to complete acceptance and best success is cruel. Parents today want to grow up only gold-medal champions, who can then never be graceful in their failures, or satisfied with being the second best. Lesser success is no success today. No one achieves all that they want. To be able to accept failure must be taught from school. A different, failure-accepting attitude by parents and society during development of a child’s mindset is desperately required. Tying failure to the feeling of being inadequate and worthless is a common crime we all commit.

That brings us to the last thought of this article: we must learn to never let the behaviour of others affect our joys. The wise will get this immediately: one deliberate hurt is too many, never allow another. Exit the situation, it is not called running away, it is protecting yourself. A Mahatma Gandhi cannot feel comfortable amongst a gang of mafias. That said, if all suicides are investigated well, many others in future can be prevented: white collared and financial criminals, trust-breakers who instigate others for suicide are quite common in our society.

Sometimes it is an internal phenomenon to have suicidal thoughts, some other times a sudden emotional shock or breakdown can provoke such an action. We must take every mention of a suicide seriously, even if the person is smiling or casual while saying it. A change in behavior pattern of a beloved introvert can also be an alarm, one must spend more time with them without being intrusive. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

Glamorisation of suicide is an open abuse perpetrated upon our social conscience, worst in India, and should be declared criminal, as this may fatally affect some potential young minds. The mindless repetition of suicidal news has a devastating effect on many stressed minds, and who is not stressed today?

Medicine is a difficult career: long, hard and emotionally fatiguing, with late rewards (rarely financial), and legendarily thankless. Many doctor work on the verge of thoughts about quitting. The concept for vacation, rest or good sleep is not allowed to most doctors. This drives some across the edge. The only way to stop this is that each and every doctor looks after their own stress levels, that they take adequate rest and sleep, find leisure and entertainment, every few days. Socio-federal expectations never end, while our life withers away.

A change in career is a good idea, if you feel frustrated for long. One can always excel in a PG branch once not wanted, one can reappear and pass exams, one will meet better people. Most importantly for medicos, education is not a forever state, and after passing, medicine enables us to practice anywhere we like. Let us not make drastic decisions affected by transient scenarios like bad seniors, frustrating workloads or those recurring breakup’s! © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

If given a chance again, I will choose nothing but to be the Neurologist that I am today. The memories of that thrashing by mom strengthen my resolve to stand up to the unpleasant and stern parenting duties so crucial for the safety of my own children. That divorce liberated me (and her) from many more years of painful discomfort. Life, even without anything that I possess now, is still beautiful. Still, every single thing that I possess today is a dream for many, and adds to the inherent beauty of my life. That deeply roots my faith in the wisdom “Whatever happens is for good“. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

There are many glaring examples of those who turned tables to win over fate, overcame failures, deception, breakups, crises- financial and emotional, defamation, bullying and humiliation. Almost all of them have dealt with suicidal thoughts, some sought right help, and now are living proofs that this is possible only if one lives on.

I feel like whispering to every silently suffering soul out there: Dream, fight, chill, win or lose, but never give anyone the right to take away your charm. That little muscle-machine ticking in your chest right now, the insane neurochemical chatter of your neurons which makes you say ‘I think’, are miracles specifically made for you. That little hand you hold, someone’s moist eyes upon seeing you, and the enormous capacity of your coconut to imagine a beautiful future – are all precious blessings. Let’s not belittle them by asking for something more just to smile once again.
Smile NOW for what you are, smile NOW for what you have!

About that b. em.& b.. girlfriend… well I fondly miss her still, but every time I think of her, I cannot help smiling!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Two Shades of Nepotism, and Doctors.


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Surgery final exams.Butterflies.
My best friend and me were sweating since last few nights.

My turn, a case of breast cancer. I did well, but obviously it is not possible to answer everything, and there comes the “Sorry Sir, I don’t know” moment, I said it. The kind external examiner smiled at the end, a positive sign. I started on the next short case nearby. My best friend was presenting to the same examiners when I was recording my next case. Poor guy, he had a difficult case and was confusing. He was better than me in surgery, and here he was, not doing well. Just then, his uncle, a senior surgery professor, entered our ward, and our examiners stood up to wish him. They were his students. Our professor wished my friend best luck, and said to the examiners he hoped his nephew did well.

I got enough marks to cross the first class, my friend was far ahead. While I secretly resented that my friend had an advantage, I knew he was a good student, and it did not hurt much. Maybe, if it was an enemy my reactions would have been different. Many examiners in India actually discriminate between an outsider (belonging to non-medical parents) and insider (belonging to doctors, especially from the same institute), or on the basis of caste, language, and even gender.

Gender discrimination and its various shades are nothing new in India and still a taboo to write about, but there are beneficiaries and victims of this anomaly. There was a girl in my college, not very academic, who did ‘impress’ the examiners with her beauty and smile. We saw some male professors being partial to her because she was exceptionally beautiful and had a model-like personality. She always passed with very good grades, got the best ranks, and eventually married a similar rich and handsome guy. Nothing in this story offends me, these are the ways of today’s world, but since centuries probably. I know that most beautiful women also face a reverse discrimination, i.e. even after being the best they are accused of using their looks to get what they want. They are usually above the tendency to reply to such allegations.

A very wise quote mentioned in almost all spiritual texts says “Imagine yourself in their place before you speak about someone”. What would I have done, if my uncle was a Surgery professor, and could ‘push me up’ a little bit? Or, a more difficult question, would I have taken advantage if I was a woman with really good looks? Well, the answers are not very pleasant, and certainly not universal. I wished I had a Godfather in medicine, to guide and protect me. However I do not hate those who have one. Not having a godfather helped me grow better and stronger, and I always found ways to create enough opportunities for myself, to face this reality head-on rather than engage in a blame game about it.

Nepotism and discrimination are not new, in fact it is an ancient tradition in many cultures, like some other questionable traditions. From Kings and Priests to classical singers, people have preferred their own over deserving others. For example, if a wrestler has struggled and won medals, name and fame, he would want his progeny to excel in his own craft, and will do everything possible to help his own son/ daughter. Only those who can say ‘ I will never help my son / daughter / friend to excel in their career, I will never invest for them, never use my goodwill to get them the best life should be able to criticise nepotism in true sense. Nepotism is the naked truth about almost every profession, from politics to mafia. Even genetically (this might need a broader-grasp mind) there are certain things which people inherit an ability to do better. Right from famed watchmakers to singers, dancers, and some artists in fact retain their craft strictly within families, and proudly keep it a secret. So long as they do not prevent someone else from making their craft, or do not stand in the way of others, one cannot blame nepotism. Why should we presume that the son of a great singer cannot be a greater singer if given a chance?

Unless everyone in our society is mature enough to swear not to help their own family and friends and follow that, unless we eliminate nepotism by laws that apply to everyone, we cannot selectively blame one profession or other about it. While we evolve away from it, we must also accept that near and dear ones will always be the favoured ones as a human tendency, with rare exceptions. If a woman is rich enough, she can buy a Mercedes for her daughter, and her neighbour has no case crying nepotism because their kid was denied a Merc. However, if the neighbouring child’s toy is snatched, then alone there can (and should) be an argument. A true anti-nepotism sentiment should be to help every hungry and homeless kid we see on the roads, as they need food and home more than our overfed kids do. Is that happening?

Most of the politicians, businessmen, and even doctors who have reached heights in their careers have tried to rope in their own near and dear ones in their field of expertise. That has never prevented outsiders in any field from reaching where they are destined to reach with their hard work. In fact, outsiders are often seen reaching higher and farther than those who get help and support early on. I have very strong feelings about those with money buying out medical undergraduate and postgraduate seats while those without money and just merit having to let their valid claim vanish. What money does when it changes hands is far worse than what nepotism does in any field. There are other vices far worse than nepotism in every profession. Taking advantage of gender, power and connections to disrepute, defame or emotionally torture others are far worse. There’s nothing wrong in helping one’s own, but it should not be at the cost of destroying others. If a doctor has established a great hospital with his life’s blood and sweat, he will obviously want his own child to own it rather than conducting an international survey for researching the most eligible person to run it. I am not at all in favour of Nepotism, but I strongly feel about the misuse of this term by those who openly practice cronyism, favoritism and shoelickism.

To choose a vice that suits one’s immediate cause and ignore one’s own ‘bypasses’ to success, being thankless to those few who made one successful is a creepy tendency. Many who accuse others of having ‘Godfathers’ gladly indulge in other types of ‘push-pull’ tactics for utterly selfish gains. In medicine too, while we gradually become more objective, we should try and also eliminate our own faults before raising fingers at others. Every doctor should be graceful enough to be above short term attention seeking. If we don’t understand good and bad mentalities, who will? The best we can do is to concentrate on the good we can do, while fighting with a smile those who suppress others. We can never forget that there indeed were people who helped us.

Nepotism will create only a transient glitter. The beautiful spirit of eternity is never affected by it.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
“Sir, we are screwed. The Chief Minister and other ministers have closed all doors, they won’t respond. Our careers are in grave danger. Can you please help us?” I frantically spoke.
From the other end of the phone, the Don, Dr. Nitu Mandke answered: “See me at my home at 12 midnight”.
The Maharashtra state resident doctor’s agitation for dignity, national pay parity and better living conditions was on, and I was given the responsibility of coordinating and being the face. We had successfully established a multilevel network.
When students go on a strike anywhere in any field, it is almost always out of desperation, either for dignity or for rebellion against some sort of suppression by the system. Students never rebel for money or power. This raw student power is almost as mighty as the army, and although it falls prey to political misuse sometimes, it has tremendous capacity towards achieving intellectual evolution of the society. The government always treats any unrest as an offence to its ego, and uses everything at its disposal: CID, Police, Administration, Force, Threats, Caste Politics, Cheating and Legal torture to mow down student agitations. Students have no money, no experience and rare political or social backing, and must unite and stand up for themselves. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

On the fourth day of the strike, a big politico from the ruling alliance came over to our office at Mumbai KEM. There was no telling between him and a mafia goon. The members of student’s central committee: Dr. Sanjay Singh, Dr. Dinesh Kabra, Dr. Narender Sheshadri, Dr. Pramod Giri, Dr. Nilesh Nikam, Dr. Kuldeep, Dr. Vishal Sawant, Dr. Noor, Dr. Shahid, and few others were with me. The politico did not have any scruples using an arrogant, raw and filthy language to threaten that if we do not stop and withdraw the strike, our careers and even life will be in danger. As he was from the ruling party and threatened us in presence of the police, there was nothing we could say.
There are angels everywhere. A senior police officer who was supposed to “keep a constant watch” upon us ‘student leaders’ was quite fatherly. He told us “Do what you must, but don’t declare. Dumb people cannot interpret silence. Stay away from any violence”. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande
Unknown calls kept threats alive. That is when a resident doctor suggested we meet the Don: Dr. Nitu Mandke, the famous heart surgeon who was known to be a fearless, straightforward celebrity doctor.

We went to his home, and waited, hosted by his extremely courteous family. He returned home past midnight. We briefed him the details. He asked a few questions to assess our determination and strength. He asked us to stay united and avoid any misbehaviour during the agitation. To our surprise, he picked up the cellphone and called the Chief Minister’s PA. The CM was fortunately available, and talked to Dr. Mandke. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

After the call, Dr. Mandke told us: “CM has advised us to meet the Deputy CM tomorrow. Two of you come to Lilavati Hospital tomorrow at 2 PM. I will take you to the DyCM.”.
At Lilavati hospital, Dr. Mandke’s chamber was intimidatingly clean and posh, yet simple. He checked our applications for the CM and corrected them with his beautiful pen. His briefcase had every essential of writing stationary, the mark of a perfect man.

As we waited, I asked him cautiously: “Sir, shall we start?” He replied that he was waiting for someone to carry the bag on his table. I offered that I will carry it. He laughed his thunderous laugh, and looked at us as if we were small puppies. “ Deshpandyaa, that bag has two and a half crore rupees cash for construction of my hospital. A professional bodyguard will carry it. People kill for that. Do you want to carry it?”. I shut up.

In his big car, for the 45 minutes that his bodyguard drove us to the DyCM, I asked Dr. Nitu Mandke questions about what was going through his mind when he was actually operating the Shiv Sena Supremo Mr. Balasaheb Thackeray. Such an enormous pressure it must have been!
“Oh yes, it was stressful. But he is a gentleman, and he had assured my safety. His word is enough”.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande.

That’s when we told him how some politicos had threatened us recently. He laughed and replied something that has been tattooed upon my cortex permanently:
“Rajas, a doctor is a doctor and king of lives forever. Politicos come and go. Idiots misbehave with others when the have any post or power, in any field. You should not budge. It is pathetic to see doctors licking shoes of those in power, under various pretexts. It is up to you to maintain your dignity and pride. That is the true luxury, everyone cannot afford it. So long as you do the right thing, fear nothing. The few crores in that bag is nothing compared to how I feel about myself”.

We entered the VIP zone and bungalow. His car was not stopped anywhere. The DyCM offered us tea, and gave us a patient listening.
“These junior doctors and students are my boys, our own boys, they will look after the health of our people tomorrow. You must help them” Dr. Mandke insisted. The DyCM assured he will. The spell was broken, talks resumed.
Many twists and turns later, one of the most memorable strikes was called off.

A year later, I saw a white Lexus car in our KEM campus at Mumbai. Fond of cars and having never touched a Lexus, I went to see it from a close distance. Just as I tried to touch it, the driver’s window rolled down, and I heard “Deshpandyaa, open the door and come in. Do you like my new car?”
And I sat besides the King of proud men, one of the most proficient Cardiac Surgeons, Dr. Nitu Mandke, in his Lexus. The feeling is unforgettable, not only for the Lexus, but for his simplicity, love and affection for a ‘nobody’, a junior doctor like myself!

Needless to say, then onwards, I have guarded my dignity and pride as a doctor more than any other possession I have. That took away many opportunities and huge finances, still I am doing quite well by God’s grace, and Dr. Mandke’s blessings.
How I feel about myself is more precious than anything I can earn. The luxury of pride is mine.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Dedicated to all students, resident doctors, proud people in every field, student unions and their apolitical fearless leaders.
Please share unedited.

Save Lives. Share.

My Brothers And Sisters
Please stop posting/ reposting bad news as many amongst us are on the verge of giving up.
If you feel sad/ suicidal please speak to a friend, family member, doctor or psychologist/ counsellor.
If someone speaks about having suicidal thoughts, please seek professional advice of a counsellor asap.
Don’t give motivational speeches or tell the sad and depressed to just “take it easy”, that “you need to be strong like me, this is mental weakness “, do not suggest them exercise or yoga as a remedy. Spirituality, philosophy and meditation are NOT the initial / sufficient remedies for depression.
Let a professional handle it, depression is completely reversible if treated by the right specialist: Psychologist, Counsellor, Psychiatrist or if none is available, any qualified doctor.
Depression is not madness, those feeling sad are neither mad not weak. Please help them recover by keeping a positive atmosphere around them, and connecting them to the right help. Switch off news channels and feeds. Watch comedies and happy music. Play board games with them. Eat something they enjoy together. Make sure they sleep well.
Please tell them in simple and direct languhow much you love/ adore / respect them, this one step may change their perspective.
These corona days will pass soon. In a life of many decades, we are just sacrificing a few months: to stand again, to fight and to win.
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Requesting to share this one to reach as many as possible, your share may save someone’s life.
I have never urged to share my posts. The purpose of this post is obvious. Do please share with all your near and dear ones.

Gulabo Sitabo Review: A Feast Of Class


© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

When you want trivial and mundane, you hit the streets, but when you want class, you dress up first and look for the best place you can afford to go to.
To grasp the intonations of various emotions, the prosody of dialogue and the language of the eyes, the depth of thoughts behind the imagery on the screen is a rare feast for the fortunate to enjoy. Steve Jobs taught the world what it should want, rather than catering to what it wanted. Similarly Indian cinema has started moving away from the traditional, more often to loudly shock the audience, but at some other rare times to surprise them with a classic.
Gulabo Sitabo is such a surprise. I couldn’t help but write this, out of my field.

Once during my MD Medicine days, I broke down and confided to my professor Dr. P. Y. Mulay that I am not able to digest the helpless inability to end the incessant suffering, the flow of patients is never ending, it continues in spite of whatever we do. He asked me about my icons. Of course one name among many (Einstein, Sant Dnyaneshwar, Mahatma Gandhi, Stephen Hawking, etc.) was Amitabh Bachchan, he had taught my generation the pride of being upright and the passion to achieve especially against odds.
My professor smiled and told me: “Have you seen that movie where he has a tumour and gets a convulsion? He has convulsed actually as a patient would! It is not easy, one has to observe, immerse oneself in the details. People may think it was just another bit of acting, but even medically his convulsion was nearly perfect. His body language is as perfect as his pronunciation and diction. This needs immense work. One has to accept a lot of pain to achieve whatever one sets out to achieve, that pain and suffering on the way are in fact the part of achievement. Only when you cross this negativity, you will be able to save lives, to end suffering of many. Those words changed my attitude forever.

Now, after about two decades, I got a chance to watch Mr. Amitabh Bachchan’s movie today on its day of release. The legend has grown beyond itself. His voice, his demeanour and his eyes make one realise how far away he has come from the iconic screen image(s) he had made for himself, to perform Mirza. He not only embodies, but appears to be enjoying every bit of being this mischievous old man.
One must imagine the difficulty in maintaining the doubly crooked curvature of Mirza’s (Mr. Bachchan’s character) back, the tilt on one side, the difference between movements of two legs while walking, the postural twist of neck and the difficulty of holding this all together while the face shows a spectrum of every emotion of an expressive old man. This tall man has, all through the movie, bent forward in lower back and then to speak to other characters, has had to turn his neck up. Try doing that (at your own risk)! The wet hoarseness in his voice and the breathless pauses between angry sentences are not only consistent, they underline his oneness with this role. Even the giddiness and falls are portrayed excellently, exactly as they happen in this age group. As he crosses all the bounds of expectations and anticipation, you start to understand why Mr. Amitabh Bachchan is beyond reviews. He probably enjoys acting far more than our opinions about it. Zen! He proves yet again in this film that he is far above any actor in commercial as well as non commercial/ art films in Indian cinema.

Mr. Ayushmann Khurana has played his confident yet frustrated simpleton so naturally that those who have come from poor families will readily identify with the defiant stance of a young man forced by compulsions of life without much money. Very talented and never dramatic.
Mirza’s wife, Begum, played by Mrs. Farrukh Jafar impressed with her nonchalant dialogue delivery.
Everyone else, especially Srishti Shrivastava has done their job really well, complimenting the major duo.

A word for the director Mr. Shoojit Sircar: this movie reflects a very courageous and strong will to overcome the superficial, glazed culture of fast paced but meaningless, noisy filmy clutter catering to a jaded social mindset. Instead, this is a classy feast for those who long for the art called drama, acting and visual expression with infinite colours, sounds, words, beats and silences, enhancing the effect of every moment, and meaningfully so. Not everyone dares break the cliches of dancing to the tunes of times (public), a rare few make a mark upon it.

This film is not for those who want fast and furious, item songs, or loud dramatic expressions of normal. Like I said earlier, dress up for class, open your faculties of perception of the subtle. If you understand the beauty of depth of an effort, the intensity of something so simple as an old man’s love for his possessions, you will thoroughly enjoy this movie.

I am not qualified to review or rate this movie. I am entitled only to express my gratitude for an extremely pleasant feeling of “not all is lost to cheap drama” that this film gave me. After the long lockdown and perpetual hospital stress, this film also reminded me how beautiful past can be, compared to the old age we will all meet one day. We need to reboot our perceptions or the world around us, and redefine our definitions of happiness and possessions. And yes, we need to learn also that we are still amongst icons who work hard to ride their passions, to rise to every challenge and win over it, defying all odds.

Waiting for your next hit, Mr. Bachchan, Sir!

Thank You!

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Amitabh Bachchan

“It seems this hospital is distributing death to the patients”

“Aisa Lag Raha Hai Ki Ye Hospital Marijon Ko Maut Baant Raha Hai”

A leading and brilliant Indian TV anchor has framed this sentence. There are over a million deaths all over the world, covid hospitals are burdened up with dead bodies in almost all countries, and the whole medical fraternity is on the frontline, all Indian hospitals have cooperated with whatever demands were made by the government. Still, the news anchor obviously implies that the hospital is ‘handing out’ death in such cases.

It is NOT the doctor’s duty to shift patients and dead bodies, still they are doing this wherever there’s no staff. But if you expect that the docs leave critical patients to die and please the TV cameras, it will never happen, our ethics are supreme.

He didn’t say that:

:Virus is distributing death
:Those responsible for inadequate healthcare are distributing death
Or
:Irresponsible people who don’t follow rules are distributing death

He just blamed the hospital like a Judge.
Media Judge.

We have few questions:
Why didn’t the journalist/ reporter who was shooting this case and crying that the patient didn’t have enough clothes give this patient his own clothes?
Why didn’t he shift the patient to other hospital which had beds?
Did the reporter take written consent from the patient to shoot him naked?
Did the reporter call helpline to attend this patient? What was the government’s response?

And lastly, is this happening only in certain states?

Please stop making TRP business out of dying patients. Why aren’t administrators stopping the interference with healthcare in hospital?

हॉस्पिटल मरीजो को मौत नहीं बांट रहा, कोरोना मौत बांट रहा है, और आप जैसे रिपोर्टर उस मौत का तमाशा बनाकर पैसे कमा रहे हो. सवाल उनसे किजिये जो इन हालात के लिये जिम्मेदार हैं. डॉक्टर और हॉस्पिटल्स अपना अपना काम कर रहे हैं. आदरणीय प्रधानमंत्री की सूचना का आप भी पालन किजीये, और कोरोना योद्धाओं के खिलाफ़ जहर फैलाना बंद किजीये.

(No hospital is distributing deaths, but corona virus is, and people like you are making money by exploiting their deaths for earning money by dramatising everything. If you dare, ask questions to the right people. Doctors and hospitals are working to full capacity to serve patients and the nation. You must first learn to respect the words of Hon’ble PM, and not spread lies against medical frontline warriors.)

Stop your poisonous blah.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande