Tag Archives: Reality

The Zen Of a Doctor: An attempt of honest meditation

The Zen Of a Doctor
An attempt of honest meditation
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I am now tired, mentally fatigued, I want to recover to joy. I do not want to lie to myself.

I love treating patients, resolving their health problems. I love the feeling of their recovery. I love the gratitude that comes my way. I am proud of this ability to be compassionate, to harbor empathy and to understand and fight suffering of another human being. I am proud, that money is not on the top of my priority lists. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

But now I am tired of the whining: not the whining of suffering, for that is mine to destroy happily, but the whining by choice of adopting an extremely stressful, dirty, unclean, unhealthy lifestyle, not preparing to change, not preparing to pay for health, and then blaming it all upon a doctor. Women openly suppressed by husbands and large families, children tortured by parent’s whims, men exploited by their own desires and careers, and an orthodox, superstitious society where the most literate and educated believe in sometimes poisoning themselves with unknown medicines, and then have the audacity to question a qualified doctors’ intentions in writing a prescription. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

They want everything of the best quality, from panipuri to cars, and are willing to pay extra for every luxury, while expecting that only healthcare must come free, and the very doctor whom they cannot trust, cannot tell the truth to, must treat them with best empathy and honesty, give them enough time to ask unnecessary questions and doubts, and then should waive off the fees out of sympathy. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I am also tired of the corrupt practices in medicine, and the hopeless scenario that everyone rather tends to believe that the doctors are all corrupt (some indeed are, but so are few in every profession, shut up pseudo Einsteins of argument!) rather than seeing the open markets established by uninhibited corporates who are seen hand in hand with the administrators, some pharmaceuticals and some in power. Corruption by those in high places, that ranges from producing some of the worst quality, inexperienced doctors, to dispensing lower quality everything just because they have understood this trick: people fall for low cost anything, even health. Such a disaster that people do so many unnecessary tests under the “Health Check” scams themselves, but when the doctor advises even one test, suspect him / her of wanting more money! © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I refuse to be exploited. I can only change myself, not the world. Hence this meditation.

I want to live a good life: not full of gold and diamonds, but of joy, health and inner peace. Of independence, financial as well. Of my own choice and preference, not what the society decides for me. I want quality time for myself and my family too. © Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I do not want to be a busy doctor irritated and shouting at everyone: I would rather earn less and guard my composure. Those who cannot respect this will be given a chance to understand, but only once.

I will continue to stay highest in my principles. I will refuse to compromise on the quality of healthcare I want to practice, just because someone wants a cheaper, faster but less ethical alternative, less correct choice. I will see less number of patients and rather spend enough quality time with each of them, and charge them higher as per time and expertise, rather than hurrying through.

I will choose to encourage trust in my patients with my own behavior and words, but if I realize they are still trustless and question my integrity, I will refer them to their choice of another specialist, because I want to retain my best peace of mind for my next patient.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

I will not take the extra effort to explain everyone why I do what I do, my duty is to be honest to myself and my God, my patients. I have limited time, now and in life, and I will expect that faith, trust and a level of basic intelligence (that has nothing to do with education) will enable everyone to see clearly that I mean well. That is my promise to myself: I will always mean well to my patients, and offer them my best. That should never preclude my own happiness. This will enable me achieve my inner peace so essential for a doctor.

I feel better with this already.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

Hide, Don’t Seek

Hide, Don’t Seek
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

We are all experts in this.

Mr. SP suffered a stroke, lost his job. Still has to run a family that has kids in engineering college. Since last six months he is looking for work, and is freelancing as an interior designer. To go to work he needs special vehicle. To buy it he needs loan. Bank does not give loan because he does not have a job. RTO will not issue license unless the vehicle is in his own name. He is ineligible for a handicapped- job opportunity because he cannot get a certificate, because there is a huge line for the same in only one center in a large city like Pune, where the handicapped people are expected to queue up starting 4 AM in the morning, without a place to sit or a shade. He has been in this queue for umpteen times, but could not reach the clerk as only limited number of people are taken in. He keeps on spending on the autorickshaw fares, his own medicines, physiotherapy, and limps his way through life cursing his fate. He has already decided that his children will not settle in India.

All that India has learnt in it’s recent evolution is to address him as “Man with special needs” or “Physically challenged” instead of handicapped.

Now he awaits Mr. Mark Zuckerberg or Mr. Tim Cook or Mr. Obama to digitally reach out and solve his problem.

In our evolution as the strongest and the most invested nation, we have shoved below the carpet the facts that we have highest number of unhealthy people who cannot reach or afford basic medical care, hunger deaths, a government-run healthcare system that is worse than dysfunctional at best, a valley of inadequate resources created by senseless laws / rules / red-tapism that mock the possibility of a comfortable living of an honest citizen, where bribe is the basis of any function at almost all levels. Traffic kills not only those on the road, but also those in an ambulance.

This even as we pay one of the highest income tax, and probably the highest duties on almost everything.

Neither women nor children are safe, the political backing encourages hooligans to do away with all the eve-teasing they want. Richest of the rich revel in their 100 and 500 crore successes, multimillion ventures and billionaire statuses in Forbes, while there is no answer to innumerable suicides of poverty ridden populace.
Now we will digitally connect them.

We have learnt the western language in an attempt to impress the western press. With our huge population, there always are enough positive numbers to impress the world, while we hide the negative numbers from the world’s eyes. We have learnt perfectly the eternal art of beautifully colouring a home from outside, while there still are decaying crimes, mountains of unsolved legal / procedural basic issues that eat up the lives of those who live within. The rich-poor gap is at its worst, and the onus is upon the citizen to find legal / illegal solutions to their problems. Audacious corruption stinks in almost every govt. office, but we will sing songs of our own greatness and history. We will die to establish an arrogant historic fact rather than help a dying needy in the present.

We need human connections first. We need internal reforms first.

What will an old sick parent “thrown up by children” do with internet? What will a heart attack patient stuck in traffic do with digitalisation, when there are no sufficient paramedics, and they can’t reach him? How will internet, another “profit-based” venture, provide for food and medicines to those who don’t have money?

Will all this internet access / digitalization solve the issues like rehabilitation of thousands of orphans in the country, rehabilitation of women who have suffered rape, whistle blowers being beaten up and killed in open daylight, a perpetually deficient healthcare scenario with increasing gap between doctor and patient, further widened by draconian laws against the tiny number of remaining doctors?

Just Hide, Don’t Seek answers.

Let us all dress up our best for our new girlfriend: the affluent, civilized western world.

© Dr. Rajas Deshpande

PS: I am strongly pro-digitalization, but it is the wrong God to bank upon for a positive change in our country.