© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
“Be careful”, my lecturer warned me, “He is a genius, but he is eccentric. Almost mad. You will easily pick up wrong traits from him. Take care that you limit yourself to only Neurology. There he’s a king”.
I was posted in another hospital as a part of my curriculum, to work with Dr. Shaw. He had worked in some of the best hospitals of the world. Most of his colleagues either hated him or were jealous of his abilities. He gave them nothing to criticize, so the most common ‘gossip’ about him was his being asocial, eccentric etc… but his earlier students had always told us: that he was the best teacher. His diagnosis was near perfect, he was excellent with patients, although quite sharply sarcastic sometimes.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
I wished Dr. Shaw as I entered his room. He was a picture-perfect doctor. Clean shaved, well dressed, smiling and emanating a healthy, positive feeling. He did not speak much. Patients started coming in, and I realized something different: he made no attempt to please patients by anything artificial. No extra words. No false reassurances or jokes. No pretending that he was being good to them. Case after case, he spoke maybe two sentences about the key pointers to his diagnosis, the most important tests needed, and started treatment. His manners with the patient were perfect too, he behaved with them with the same earnest kindness that he treated other doctors with. Still, he took care to be formal, to keep everyone at a certain distance where they could not get personal.
He worked incessantly. He thought and walked maniacally fast and took breaks only for his coffee during his long days. He achieved alone in a day what was difficult for four people working together, with less blah about it. I fell in love with his personality. Much like my hero, Howard Roark.
During such coffee breaks, I summoned courage and asked him questions.
“Sir, why are people so scared of you? Why do you maintain a distance from everyone?”
He spoke without hesitation or shame, as if he had answered this same question a million times. “Rajas, I wasn’t the same earlier. Then I started realizing that people hated anyone doing better than them. Even friends and family get somewhat jealous if you are above them. We are in a mossback society where you are traditionally groomed to hate anyone with a bigger car, better income or (he smiled) even a better girlfriend! People immediately presume that you must be doing something wrong, conning others, or that you must be easy on morals and ethics. People just cannot swallow the idea that someone can actually do better than them without doing anything wrong. Cyclewalla envies and hates scooterwalla while scooterwalla jealously loathes carwalla, travelling in the same direction on the same road. Translate that into intellectual achievements”.© Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
There was no boast in his speech. I had realized this just as anyone else. “My abilities, my intellect and my hard work are not my crime. But the only reaction for those doing better is to throw stones at them or to subdue them emotionally. People want a rein for you in their hands. If not, they have a hunter ready. If you do not please them, they are ready to tear you apart, not by logic but by weapons like defamation, gossip, or forceThe same doctor who is like God while expecting free service becomes a corrupt devil when they see bills or if the outcome is negative. The law considers this a profession, while politicians and People still expect 24/7 free world class service. I want to be a professional, not a slave ”.
This was magnificent revelation. There are many millions who earn better than doctors, especially politicians, but they forget that the respect that a doctor gets is not for his / her earnings, it is for the knowledge and wisdom, the hard work, the easing of suffering and saving of lives of thousands. That makes some of them so jealous that they have to ‘show down’ doctors in a bad light always, to suppress their fraternity. Most brilliant geniuses in history who took the world forward were not only hated, but hanged, poisoned, jailed and isolated. How else does one justify that people hate and attack some of the most intelligent non-violent beings in their own community? Some doctors are indeed greedy and corrupt, one can lawfully punish them, but otherwise how are millions of patients in India are getting better from even most critical conditions? Are our politicians treating them? © Dr. Rajas Deshpande.
Dr. Shaw did not mince words. “Is it a fault that I studied more, that I have better speed of thinking and analysis, that I got to learn from excellent teachers? Is it my fault that my patients like me? Yet I realized that this is exactly what I am disliked for”.
“I have many faults; I do not think I am superior to anyone. But if you still treat others as equal, they can not grasp it and keep reaping benefits from your association, while contributing nothing to your life. So I prefer to be alone, groom my life better than trying to average out with everyone around me. I have but one life, and I want to live it being myself, not a people-pleasing pimp”.
On my last day with him, I was too emotional, but still decided to ask him what haunts most Indian medicos: “Sir, then why are you still in India? People hate doctors, they cannot tell a good doctor from a bad one, they hate anyone who has intelligence or money. They think every doctor skins people for money. It is such a sad state.”
“I am here because I see the suffering of the millions of people who need good doctors. They may hate me, but I can still do them good. I do not want to beat drums and blow trumpets about my love for India. I leave that for politicians and those who have nothing else to do. If I leave, many will die. That’s why. The only care I take is to stay away from parasitic people, and unsafe patients. I don’t explain myself, those who have that ability and grasp will understand me.” He was beautifully, profoundly blunt, like a saint!
I had changed forever as a doctor, due to this “Brilliant, Bad Doctor” I worked with!
© Dr. Rajas Deshpande
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